Why do people always get so nasty on this site?

[AriAliyah]

I've seen so many posts where someone has simply worded something badly, asked something in the wrong way, or even asked a perfectly reasonable question, and people have absolutely torn in to them. Do people get a kick out of it? So many perfectly nice posts get caught up with passive aggressiveness. Just don't get it!

I think it's just showing off, like the unpopular kids in the playground trying to fit in. I just skim through, think 'awe bless!' And move on.

Hi AriAliyah,

Unfortunately we know exactly what you mean.

If you see any posts which you think cross the line, can you please hit the report button? We're really trying to clamp down on this sort of thing and are always happy to take a look.

We don't mind if people are a bit blunt and we don't mind swearing (so long as it's not swearing AT someone else) but we'll take down any posts which are OTT aggressive or just plain mean. You can take a look at our Talk Guidelines here.

Many thanks.

I know someone who does this. Nasty, chippy little poster. Very quick tempered if contradicted and takes offense easily, then is like a dog with a bone with given poster and will say something like 'poor poster' on repetition, telling them to respond to her, whilst throwing in some insults, until they go away. Usually has a friend or two for support.

I reported her the time she almost derailed a thread with it. To be fair I think Mumsnet must have had a word because I didn't see her about much for a while after. I spotted her a week or so ago, going through the old familiar browbeating routine and would have reported but the thread was deleted (for other reasons).

I think it depends on the earliest responses. If the OP gets a sympathetic ear it goes from there, but if someone’s having a bad day (or they’re just a jerk) and they reply unkindly most people just jump on the bandwagon. It’s ridiculous.

There are also the well known angry posters who jump from thread to thread being unkind (for want of a better word) to everybody and who people know to avoid.

It's a shame. Mumsnet used to be a source of support for me. Now I wouldn't dare post about anything sensitive for fear of getting a verbal kicking from a minority of loud thickos. Or worse, I might end up in the Daily Fail. I haven't found anything to replace what Mumsnet used to be, and my life is lonelier because of it.

Totally agree. And these are also the people who accuse others of not having read something properly and yet they’ve ignored most of the facts only to pick on one and beat the OP with it. I’ve seen a couple of bad examples today. You really do take your life in your hands sometimes here when you ask a question.

I agree some posters do go over the top and it makes me both sad and angry on the posters behalf. They also read only the first post, so that when the poster gives additional information or agrees to being in the wrong, they still pile in.

@Flamingoose

... I haven't found anything to replace what Mumsnet used to be, and my life is lonelier because of it.

Really sorry to hear that, Flamingoose.

Please rest assured that we do a lot of work behind the scenes to try to make sure the Talkboards are a friendly, supportive place to post. We send out warning mails to people who cross the line and will suspend their ability to post if they don't comply with our polite request to BE NICE.

It sounds like you'd like all like us to be more pro-active on the threads themselves, is that right? Our general policy is to keep intervention to a minimum and let the conversation flow, but please get in touch (via the report button) if you feel a thread is getting out of hand - we'll do our best to hop on and defuse things before they get too heated.