"Privacy concerns"

[Graphista]

Is it just me or is this becoming a euphemism for "op got told they were unreasonable and threw toys out the pram"

Just happened on a thread I was posting on till early hours.

But seeing it happen with more frequency.

If you don't want outed don't post identifying details of course, but several of the threads this has happened on recently the threads could have been started by several people I know and so clearly ISN'T identifying at all.

I.think it happens when someone posts something which then grows and grows and they realise they might end up in the papers OP .

Sometimes, people post in a fit of anger or worry and then the thread ends up hundreds of posts long....they didn't expect that and realise they've overshared.,

Hello Graphista,

We're sorry you feel this way. When someone asks for a thread to go for privacy concerns, we really try and make an informed decision on whether or not it's the right thing to do. This isn't always an easy thing to call nor is it an exact science and we do push back, more often than not. If we agree that it's identifying, we'll more than likely agree to get rid - but there are plenty of times when we say no and a thread is left to run.

It's also fair to say that if something is causing a devastating amount of upset to an OP, we'd consider getting rid of it for that reason alone. We are here to make people's lives easier, and we don't really want a situation where the OP is horribly distressed by a thread.

Having said all that, we really do appreciate how annoying and frustrating it is when a thread you've invested time in disappears and it's something we're always discussing in the office, so all feedback is welcome.

I understand you have a difficult job Lorna. Just sometimes it's really obvious the op is just cross that everyone didn't agree with them.

Also if the op is upset/distressed why not state that or at least allude to it as the reason rather than "privacy concerns" where anyone who's seen the thread knows there was nothing particularly identifiable on it?

@Graphista

I understand you have a difficult job Lorna. Just sometimes it's really obvious the op is just cross that everyone didn't agree with them.

Also if the op is upset/distressed why not state that or at least allude to it as the reason rather than "privacy concerns" where anyone who's seen the thread knows there was nothing particularly identifiable on it?

We really appreciate the feedback here and totally get what you're saying.

We'll try and make the right judgment when these reports come in in future. If we feel someone is using privacy concerns as a cover, we can try harder to work out where their concerns are really coming from - whether it is due to privacy or if it's because of responses on the thread. That'll help us get our deletion message right.

Why would anyone need to know if an OP was upset or distressed though OP?

I had a thread deleted (under a different name) after my full post appeared in the bloody Daily Mail - Horrified!!!! Much more careful about what I post now.

I believe I know the thread the OP was talking about and it was blatantly obvious that the reason she had it removed was because she didn’t get the response she was hoping for.

On the same thread the OP accused people who disagreed with her POV of trolling and said that MN hq really ought to do something about that, whereas her own posts became more and more and more unreasonable as the thread progressed and then ended with her saying she’d been contacted by the person she was posting about so she’d asked hq to remove the thread.

I believe that HQ don’t generally have the time to read through the thread to give it consideration and as such if someone posts that they’ve been contacted by someone who could out them then they likely take the OP’s words at face value and just delete.

@LoverOfCake

I believe I know the thread the OP was talking about and it was blatantly obvious that the reason she had it removed was because she didn’t get the response she was hoping for.

On the same thread the OP accused people who disagreed with her POV of trolling and said that MN hq really ought to do something about that, whereas her own posts became more and more and more unreasonable as the thread progressed and then ended with her saying she’d been contacted by the person she was posting about so she’d asked hq to remove the thread.

I believe that HQ don’t generally have the time to read through the thread to give it consideration and as such if someone posts that they’ve been contacted by someone who could out them then they likely take the OP’s words at face value and just delete.

We'll have to be careful as to not turn this into a TAAT but just want to assure you that we did push back really hard here - the OP was very distressed about privacy and eventually we had to remove it.

Despite deleting the thread, we did take measures to look behind the scenes here, too, as we'd received some reports from other users and could understand why.

Cheapsausages - ok "personal reasons" then?

I just feel saying privacy concerns is often disingenuous as an explanation and is appearing more frequently as the "official" reason where it's unlikely to be the case.

Lorna I appreciate that MNHQ do not have an easy job. However, it seems that posters have become manipulative and twist HQ until they get their way using all the right buzzwords “I’m distressed and in a state” and “someone has recognised me from this”. My issue is that it didn’t used to be like this. Again, I’m not blaming you, I know you have a lot of balls of juggle and I’m not sure if there’s an answer.

@SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning

Lorna I appreciate that MNHQ do not have an easy job. However, it seems that posters have become manipulative and twist HQ until they get their way using all the right buzzwords “I’m distressed and in a state” and “someone has recognised me from this”. My issue is that it didn’t used to be like this. Again, I’m not blaming you, I know you have a lot of balls of juggle and I’m not sure if there’s an answer.

No, no. It's absolutely fine and we can certainly try to improve our reasons for a deletion - we really do appreciate what you're saying here.

At the end of the day, there's only so much we can push back when someone is really upset and it's not easy saying no to someone who is in clear distress. This doesn't mean we can't get to the root of the cause and explain the reasons to other users, though. Do you think this would help a bit?

I actually wonder whether it would be preferable to have a “confirm” button when posting, a bit like the preview one, but before someone posts an OP perhaps have a message at the top of the page saying something like: “mumsnet is a public forum where any thread posted can be recognised by anyone. By posting here, you do so in the knowledge that your post is not private and posting a thread here means that it will be permanently on the internet. This cannot be undone.”

This would also save on the posts of people who become upset when their posts are reproduced in the tabloids and they believed that they were posting the most intimate details of their lives on a private platform which has never and will never be the case when posting on a thread like MN.

Because the reality here is that when you post you really have no idea who is reading what you’re posting. Nobody is at liberty to identify that they’ve read your personally identifying information online and they most likely don’t in many instances. I know that I’ve recognised someone on here not personally but someone on my fb posted something about their life, and their sister posted the same scenario on MN almost word for word. I have never stated that I knew who she was posting about or that it was recognised. It was personal to an individual and made her identifyable but posted on a public internet forum iyswim.

@LoverOfCake

I actually wonder whether it would be preferable to have a “confirm” button when posting, a bit like the preview one, but before someone posts an OP perhaps have a message at the top of the page saying something like: “mumsnet is a public forum where any thread posted can be recognised by anyone. By posting here, you do so in the knowledge that your post is not private and posting a thread here means that it will be permanently on the internet. This cannot be undone.”

This idea has been suggested a few times and it's something we've discussed at length in the past. Our issue with it is that a warning has the potential to scare away new posters, which would prevent them from getting the support/advice they're looking for. This is not something we want because ultimately, our aim is to provide a helpful platform for parents.

That being said, we are looking at adding a reminder along these lines to our FAQs, which is where many new posters come before they post.

How about putting it as a tickbox in the registration process? It really does need to be something people have to think about before they're posting.