This is the one I loved so much, from 2 weeks ago: (Hope this isn't breaching copyright)
Talk Roundup
23 February 2007
This week Pruni gave us a clear demonstration of why we surely need a [smug middle class] emoticon on Mumsnet, in Is there room for another thread about wanky things we have heard children say? Pruni broke wind in front of her shocked three year old DS, who then declared, "Mummy! You sounded just like Grandfather." "I was a bit confused. I asked him "Who do you mean?" "The French horn, mummy, from Peter and the Wolf." Smittenkitten's friend heard his DDs bickering and was called in to mediate; "Well daddy I think the sun is made of gas but she keeps saying it's made of fire." Meanwhile Greensleeves' DS1 refused a biscuit at nursery school because: "I am an Organic Boy." Which caused Hunkermunker to wonder if he has a cape.
A charming story of some quality Father-Daughter bonding time was brought to us by Yeahinaminute, whose DH took their DD swimming last week. My DH and his awful choice of clothes for DD ... got worse ... "This time he'd forgotten clothes completely! He thought he'd take her along in her cossie - but left all her clothes and the towels behind, so he wrapped her in the dog blanket and made an "oversuit" out of plastic carrier bags to get her home." Mammaduck was impressed, "can we book your DH for parties?"
If MN had existed 100 years ago what would we be posting? asked Martianbishop, who volunteered, "Am I being unreasonable to want the vote?" Whizzz noted "Bustles on sale in Boden" and OttergavebirthonValentines panicked, "Got finger stuck in mangle." Oranges wondered, "Will a wet nurse affect my supply?" and a shocked Carmenere "Found a picture of a immodestly dressed woman in my dh's bureau." Cloudhopper already has 13 children and is getting broody for another "Has anyone else got 14 - what was the transition like?" Whizzz was getting busy in the kitchen, "Marsladys Jugged Hare recipe anyone?" and Welliemum brought us "Monday FLY: Clean the hair oil off the antimacassars."
Back to real time, and as I'm sure you have noticed from the purple vestments at Mass, we are entering the holy season of Lent. iCod began our Lenten observances with the ordinance Do not buy pre made pancake mix YOU IDLE HEIFERS, "Have you no shame?" FioFio objected "If you buy the pancake mix for 69p in the Co-Op you get a FREE Jif lemon thing that costs more to buy on its own!" "BUY A FARKING LEMON" barked iCod and Megglevache agreed, "That Jif stuff tastes so gross, I'd rather put toilet duck on my pancakes."
On the trail of all things holy, SmileysPeople is Giving up mumsnet for Lent in response to a challenge issued by her DH. They have also both agreed to give up television, "I think he's hoping for sex-filled evenings, but for 6 weeks ffs... What the hell would I do?" "You'll get pregnant if you give up MN and TV, you mark my words," admonished Hunkermunker. SmileysPeople decided she was going to take up the challenge, as have a few other regulars, who we look forward to welcoming back to the Antenatal boards just after Easter.
MORNINGPAPER XX