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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Thoughts on MNHQ's response to the Spartacus thread

991 replies

OlennasWimple · 30/08/2016 22:23

As the Spartacus thread is about to reach capacity, here's a new thread to discuss MNHQ's response to the issues raised on that thread and in a few other places over the last week or so.

is lesphobic to insist that a lesbian likes penis. Feck off with that shite.
Add message | Report | Message poster KateMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 30-Aug-16 21:08:00
Hello all

Thanks for all your input on this - we've been listening and thinking hard.

Couple of quick points to clear up: it's actually not the case that people have been banned solely for misgendering - it will have been part of a broader discussion here about whether that poster is able to stick to the rules generally.

We must admit to being slightly taken aback at being cast, by some, as the evil slave-baiting Roman republic in this grin - as lots of you have pointed out, Mumsnet remains one of the few places where these issues can be discussed at all. It would have been much, much easier (both in terms of the resource and the toll on our moderators' sanity!) to shut down the debate as others have done, but instead we are working hard to find a realistic balance between free speech and being a space which welcomes everyone.

From our perspective, the whole issue is pretty much covered by our Talk Guidelines. If people are using sex-at-birth pronouns to provoke, inflame, or belittle, then that's against the rules and will usually have to go. If it happens as part of an otherwise broadly respectful (even if heated) discussion, we look at it in that context and take a view.

Some of you have pointed out a disjunct between allowing posts which mirror mainstream scientific thinking, while asking MNers not to describe a trans woman as 'he'. We can see your point on this,and also accept that there is a fair amount of dodgy stuff on the trans side that can rightly be described as anti-feminist and regressive - but what we'd ask you to think about is the impact on the parent who's not an activist, and likely isn't even posting, but whose adult child is transitioning, or who is doing so themselves. Would they feel belittled, mocked or attacked? Would they think Mumsnet was not for them? If so, we're going to have to remove it. It's a fudge, but it's the best we can do at this stage.

In all but the most extreme headline-grabbing cases, we do think it's possible to debate the core principles without referring to individuals in a way which will cause hurt. Most of you have said that when talking to a trans person face-to-face you wouldn't insist on using birth pronouns or names - and generally, on this and other issues, we encourage people to treat others with the same courtesy they'd use in real life. For every MNer who posts on a thread there are likely to be ten who are lurking - statistically, some of those will be trans or love someone who is, and we need to take account of them too.

We hope that makes our thinking a bit clearer overall. Do continue to tell us your thoughts - it's probably unrealistic to think that this issue will be quickly resolved here or across society as a whole, but it would be brilliant if MN could be part of the solution, we think.

MNHQ

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19
MatildaOfTuscany · 05/09/2016 13:46

I think I'm going to stop talking about objects falling and instead talk about "this object has been assigned to a downward trajectory..." - oh no, hang on a minute, that would be a bit daft, wouldn't it?

DropYourSword · 05/09/2016 13:57

But we already have those words Laura. Woman and transwoman.

venusinscorpio · 05/09/2016 14:00

The vast majority of people aren't going to discuss it with any regularity. Just like they don't discuss having a lack of any other health condition unless it affects them. So they don't need a special word for that lack. And for other people who might want to discuss it, cis is not a neutral term. If you call people "cis" on mumsnet, a lot of them will get mightily pissed off. Because it is loaded, and used against women.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 05/09/2016 14:09

To me, and I may be off the mark here, stating you were 'assigned Xx/XY' and it was 'wrong' implies someone is to blame for a perceived mistake.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 05/09/2016 14:13

And yes. The only time I've ever been called cis it has been loaded with venom and hatred for something i have no control over - being comfortable with the fact I am a biological woman.

venusinscorpio · 05/09/2016 14:25

Transactivists couldn't care less whether you're comfortable with it or not. They decide who gets to be "cis" according to their own arbitrary rules, and if you're not actively claiming to be trans or genderqueer or whatever, that's you.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 05/09/2016 14:30

Indeed. I'm never described as a 'woman' just cis. It's dehumanising in a way to make their experiences more valid. That's my feelings anyway.

DropYourSword · 05/09/2016 14:31

But how on earth is 'cis' even measured.
I change my brake pads, spark plugs and headlights.
My best subject at school was maths.
I have no issues with parallel parking
I rarely wear makeup
I live in cargo pants
I have long hair
I am logical rather than emotional
I hate Star Trek
I enjoyed the olympics
I'm madly in love with my son
I empty the bins

The list could go on and on and on. I don't 'identify' as a woman. I 'identify' purely as me. I am a woman.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 05/09/2016 14:51

I don't think cis is really anything to gender. It always comes with an implicit "privilege" attached and is used solely to denote folk who are so incredibly lucky to have not gone through the experience of transitioning.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/09/2016 14:55

Bloody hell. What is the actual difference (other than trendiness) between someone who is 'genderqueer' and someone who simply refuses to be defined by 'gender' and just has biological sex, sexual orientation and an individual personality? Every human being is a 'special snowflake'.

Trans and cis...forget the trite analogy with chemistry where these are discrete states. Think instead of their use in geography eg transpennine and cispennine. The reality is everyone is wending their own way somewhere in the hills. (And note also that in this context only the former is commonplace and the latter really not needed)

venusinscorpio · 05/09/2016 15:09

The "genderqueer" think their individual personalities are just that little bit more special than everyone else's. Who wants to be a boring cis person?

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 05/09/2016 15:13

That 'special snowflake' concept might be a thing. Just look at tumblr/twitter bios and all the variations people list

'Lesbian, feminist, genderqueer, transactivist' was one. Others were much lengthier and clearly it's just a way to put themselves in to neat little boxes that grow ever smaller. There's certainly a need to be defined and to be 'something'.

Is there anything inherently wrong in that? I'm not sure.

The only think I can link it to personally is the goth scene that I was/sorta still am in and how people defined themselves by more and more niches 'goth, punk industrial Bauhaus inspired, 80s vamp chic' (my friends on Twitter now) and ' 'industrial, death metal, hairy Viking goth' (her OH). Some of the descriptors are bizarre in the goth scene when it wasn't that long ago jus 'goth' fit the bill.

Certainly there is a very big need to belong and to define and I wonder, in the trans movement, if that has something to do with the dysphoria many suffer from. I notice the older generation of transwomen (can't find many tranmen) who have been living as transwomen for decades don't feel the need. Most are still describing themselves as transexual or just trans.

Is it a modern phenomena in the age of social media to want to stand out from the crowd but also desperately needing to belong people tie themselves to so many niches? I'm not talking specifically about trans here. It happens across a lot of groups inc feminist, MRAs, Eco/green groups, vegans and even mothers!

(Waffling again. Sorry)

almondpudding · 05/09/2016 15:13

Laura, the difference is that heterosexual means a person who is solely attracted to the opposite sex. There are huge numbers of people who state they are solely attratced to the opposite sex, so it is an accurate description.

There are not huge numbers of people who believe that the concept of a gender identity describes anything accurate about them.

LauraRoslin · 05/09/2016 15:31

Almondpudding The thing about bringing up the term "heterosexual" is that you're only going to use it of yourself if you have some awareness of homosexuality - it wasn't commonly used before the gay rights movement started gaining traction.

Similarly, people who think "I am a man and I was born a man" or "I am a woman and I was born a woman" are not normally going to use "cis" to describe themselves unless they have some awareness of the concept of being transgender - it's not a concept you would think of unless you were aware that there were people to whom it didn't apply. That doesn't mean they wouldn't say "oh yes, that term describes me" if asked about it.

FloraFox · 05/09/2016 15:32

What is the actual difference (other than trendiness) between someone who is 'genderqueer' and someone who simply refuses to be defined by 'gender' and just has biological sex, sexual orientation and an individual personality?

The person who is genderqueer believes everyone who is not trans or genderqueer buys into gender and is happily content with their gender roles (ie cis).

ErrolTheDragon · 05/09/2016 15:52

So ... mostly young rather insecure people maybe?

WankingMonkey · 05/09/2016 15:58

Hmmm. By the definition of 'genderqueer' I am exactly that. Does this mean I can escape the 'cis' word? Grin

I was also identified as intersex by the SAGE test. Though I am not. So clearly I am not 'just a woman'...of course not

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 05/09/2016 16:23

With trans yes I guess it is mostly insecure young people. But with the rest everyone seems to be at it. Everyone wants a niche of their own.

I have wondered if the need for all these tags and labels is linked to how we find each info and others online and the reason some choose so many. We search via tags.

One upside. It does make is sooo much easier to avoid the slightly bonkers vegan/clean/raw til 4/pets retweeter types, the 'crunchy mummy' types and ukip supporters who just grate on me. Grin

ErrolTheDragon · 05/09/2016 16:28

Ah, is that how it goes. The only way I find people is via LinkedInGrin

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 05/09/2016 16:36

See if you go into Twitter or tumblr and search #genderqueer you'll find a ton of people who identify as that. Ditto vegan. It's the same when searching for content on FB and YouTube.on tumblr especially you can Add in other tags and you could easily find a genderqueer, radical, gender critical, lesbian feminist. That person will share your views. But therein lies a big problem. If you only talk with people who meet those specifics you're in an echo chamber. And it's easy in Twitter and tumblr to block certain tags so if you don't want to see gender critical stuff you can hide it.

Yep! I look for people on LinkedIn too. I don't think the tag thing has taken over there. It exists but it's most for skills!

ErrolTheDragon · 05/09/2016 16:39

genderqueer and gendercritical? Grin

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 05/09/2016 17:04

Yep. I sort of get it you need an identifier to find likeminded people and being gender critical In the trans community is almost like being the only person to challenge racism at a trump rally.

you just have to see the abuse people who identify as 'gender critical' get.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 05/09/2016 19:10

Twatbadging knitting is cool, it's ace that your son loves to knit. I honestly thought things would get better and better, not slide down to rock bottom stereotypes which harms both sexes. I swear someone up top has decided to give women a kicking and they are using the trans movement to deliver said kicking.

I have a girl who is into traditional male things and she gets stick, I fear for the future.

WinchesterWoman · 05/09/2016 19:23

Knitting lad needs to check out kaffe fassett!

HouseMouseQueen · 05/09/2016 19:33

MICROFERRET

I deal with that level of ignorance re: prostitution all the time by men on the left who think we should legalize prostitution and that will poof make it safe.

When I see comments like Fruits I'm used to it. In fact, I had this very argument just last night online with men on the left.

They are incapable of seeing prostitution for what it truly is: a result of the disenfranchisement of females. They have no clue what's happened in countries that have legalized it, like Germany, where there is so much sex trafficking and suffering because the rates have dropped due to so much competition. Women there are getting the price of a MC Donalds meal.

I had one guy on the left tell me that he went to Germany in the 70's and that prostituted women 'pay taxes.' You can't imagine the look on my face when he admitted he buys women and that everything's totally great because 'they pay taxes.'

Truth is, they don't pay taxes because there is no way to afford it once legalization kicks in. The brothel owners (men) are the ones making the money because most women IN the brothel had to pay a flat fee just to enter it and then they have to be violated by at least 4 to 8 men in order just to break even. So most prostituted women don't live in the brothel and they certainly DO NOT pay taxes.

Yet, this knobhead lefty male was ADAMaNT that 'everything is fine.'

If you listen to the major lefty 'male atheist' shows on Youtube, for example Kyle Kulinsky's program, he readily admits that prostitution should be legal. I bet Kyle thinks he's a feminist too. It's shameful.

Again, sorry for the derail, but I dont' want to be rude and not respond to posters who directly mention me.