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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

"Not everyone on the internet is who they say they are..."

21 replies

NewYearNewToads · 07/02/2016 13:59

When MNHQ post that disclaimer on a thread, along with the warning not to give more than you can afford either emotionally or financially, does that mean that they suspect the thread isn't real but they don't have enough evidence to prove it isn't?

OP posts:

PhilPhilConnors · 07/02/2016 14:03

I've always seen it as a reminder, not that they suspect something.
Anyone can say anything on the Internet, those reading it should always be aware of this.
Trust nae fucker.

VulcanWoman · 07/02/2016 14:04

That sounds about right. Sad but true.

Arfarfanarf · 07/02/2016 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 07/02/2016 14:11

It means they have spotted yet another grabby begging poor me thread.
Prolific generally around Christmas, but odd ones crop up throughout the year. Few long term beggars hanging round too.
Sadly, people can be kindhearted but very very gullible.

gamerchick · 07/02/2016 14:14

Its just more of a warning not to get carried away. Say someone posts about their paralyzed dog who needs special wheels but they cant afford it and the person has been around a long time and considered a genuine part of the community. People get involved, have a whip round to pay for it etc. It would gut those who helped to find out it was all a lie and the money was pocketed wouldn't it?

You cant be 100% that someone's troubles are true. That single mum who has escaped an abusive relationship with no money to put electric on or feed the kids.. People are nice and want to help.

Just don't give what you cant afford to lose.

Trills · 07/02/2016 14:17

I think they should randomly post it on threads about baking.

Remember, the person you are talking to may have no intention of following your instructions on how to make the perfect lemon drizzle cake, so don't come running to us if they fail to return with a picture for you.

MNHQ

BeccaMumsnet · 07/02/2016 16:38

Hi all - thanks for posting about this. We can understand why sometimes it may come across that way, but to put it simply, no, it doesn't mean that.

Generally we'll post that on a thread after it's been reported for a number of reasons. From time to time, we think it's a good thing to remind people that this is the internet, and no one really knows who anyone is for sure.

As much as we'd like to think everyone is as honest as we are, sadly, that's not always the case. It is what it says on the tin - no hidden meaning, just a reminder.

And for Trills

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 08/02/2016 08:19

No you don't.

You tend to only put it on "rummaging down the sofa for the last 2p because there are 43 children and a ravenous dog and I've only a tub of marge in the fridge" threads. Or the "hold on OP, me and Rodney are firing up the Reliant and coming to get you" threads.

As you very definitely should.

I've no qualms with the warning. Frankly, I think it should flash up as an annoying popup obscuring the OP the minute people start saying "Pm me your address OP, I've a leftover wii lying around you can have" but then I'm 'ard and cynical.

Original poster

NewYearNewToads · 12/02/2016 23:42

Thanks Becca

You see that's what I've always thought it meant however about a month or so ago you posted that message on a rather sensitive thread. Meanwhile on a different thread someone started talking about that particular thread and that message and said that they believed it meant that you suspected the OP was a troll but couldn't prove it.

I hadn't actually thought about it that way until then.

OP posts:

gooseberryroolz · 21/02/2016 08:43

It can be a lot more subtle than that, too.

For example, an addict often doesn't know that they're an addict.

Sarah715 · 21/02/2016 14:37

I think they should post it more often. There are threads going on now where people are offering to take things to people in hospital, offering to go to their homes, that kind of thing. No one's doing anything about it.

gooseberryroolz · 21/02/2016 14:41

That's always happened. It isn't always a bad thing. It's about judgement and taking precautions.

The real problem is posters who think they 'know' other posters through their posts alone. You can't, not properly.

usual · 21/02/2016 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sarah715 · 21/02/2016 14:43

I know it's not always a bad thing but it is when the person is lying. And yes I have reported it.

gooseberryroolz · 21/02/2016 14:45

Is it easy to prove they're lying?

Sarah715 · 21/02/2016 14:47

It's an ongoing pattern and yes I would say fairly obvious, but proving it is different. There are many clear discrepancies, some delusional nonsense and photos that don't belong to them.

I guess it's about proving it is deliberate and not just 'Oh I made a mistake'.

gooseberryroolz · 21/02/2016 14:51

Heh. Not the one I'm watching then.

It's always tricky for MN to get involved.

Sarah715 · 21/02/2016 14:53

Yes and I don't want the person outed as such as they clearly need support.

I just want someone to DO something to try and make them stop.

Watching people offering all sorts and sitting on your hands thinking 'You cannot trust what this person is saying' is a huge weight.

usual · 21/02/2016 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gooseberryroolz · 21/02/2016 14:55

Agreed Sarah

Sarah715 · 21/02/2016 14:56

yes we know for definite about the photo (s)

apparently not enough on its own.

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