Dh won't let me subscribe to Mumsnet!!!!!

[muddaofsuburbia]

This is an ongoing "discussion" chez Mudda.

Dh is a prolific poster on a very geeky cable Tv/internet forum which is run by black T shirted geeks with nothing better to do. They therefore do not have a subscription.

MN on the other hand is set up and run by a group of lovely ladies (and others ) who need to keep the site going through voluntary subs.

Dh says that he doesn't agree with subs for a site that I could use for free anyway. I obviously want to support MN. I would pay subs or similar for anything else like MN (mums and tots etc) in real life, but somehow an internet based thing seems to be different in dh's mind. He feels it should be free and without any obligation.

So what do I do? If I go ahead and renew my sub, it'll appear on the bank statement and this whole thing will blow up again ("but it's the principle!!!!" type arguments). If I don't renew I'll feel guilty for not supporting something I get so much back from.

Help!

I think maybe you should be allowed to spend at least some of your money how you like without getting grief... unless your subs are quite large or your finances very tight?

Does anyone want to fess up how much they pay in subs? I do a tenner/annum.

Er, could you subscribe by post using a Postal Order that you have bought using cash???

I just did it and he never noticed,
I think I did £20 or £15 squidders
worth every bloody penny....

Well I paid up last year, can't remember if it was £10 or £20, haven't had a reminder and don't know if it's due again.

mudda, if you put it on your credit card would that have the same effect?

He is wrong...

I play board games on an American site called itsyourturn, also run by geeks I think, it was free for several years and still is up to a point - you can have 20 games going at a time without paying - but beyond that you do have to pay now. (A fixed amount too.)

I think the "the internet should all be free" attitude has necessarily had to be modified and your DH just hasn't caught up with reality yet.

tell him if he dont let you pay then your not gonna go on mn no more and he has to hand over the tv remote

Don't have a credit card.

Money is a very emotive subject with dh and this subs thing seems to have hit a raw nerve which I really cannot understand. However I paid for it, I couldn't keep it a secret because I don't think it's right. Money is tight, so everything is accounted for weekly on a budgety PC programme thing.

If I spent a tenner on anything else (CD etc), I would have to justify it, but that would probably be the end of it. It's not how much I spend, it's what I spend it on that is important to him. He vehemently disagrees with voluntarily paying for the use of a discussion forum - I get long winded diatribes on free speech blah blah blah.

Please give me convincing arguments with lots of big words and impressive terminology!!!

Could you just support MN more subtly if it would save you hassle- buy the books for everyone you know who has a new baby, for example?

If you bought a couple of parenting magazines a month, full of helpful advice (but not reactive like mumsnet, and not nearly as much fun) how much would that cost a year? £50?

would he work for nothing - or a minus amount- like the lovely people who created/maintain mumsnet???

The principle??? Oh, he's being silly. You are paying for something you could get for free yes, but it is worth a lot to you and you know that people need your money. I bet you don't hold him to account for every single penny. What does he 'waste' money on? If he raises the Mumsnet thing, go on and on and on about his spending. That might shut him up. And hooray for separate bank accounts say I

Free speech doesn't mean in monetary terms. Free speech means you have the right to say what you want. You do not have 'free speech' in his terms on the phone, do you? Or a free postal service? I think he has mixed up the two meanings of free - one meaning 'unrestricted' and the other meaning 'without paying'. It is ONLY because some people pay for Mumsnet that other people can use it. MN policy is not to exclude the very poorest people from the advice and support it offers just because they can't pay - that doesn't mean others should take advantage. Without subs MN would vanish and that would be a shame.

Hi Mudda and all,
Just to say that you're very sweet to be concerned/ thinking of us but mumsnet is here to try and ease some of the stresses of people's lives not add to them so please don't feel you have to subscribe if it's going to cause problems for you and yours in any way.

We are massively grateful to all who've subscribed but if you can't and would like to help the site out, there are plenty of other ways you can contribute...

1. If you shop at any of our affiliates (see buttons on home page - we've got Tescos, Debenhams, Oddbins, Ocado, Boden, Figleaves, ELC, Mothercare and many more) then click through from mumsnet to do so - we get a small commission everytime someone buys something.
2. If you can remember to, then click on a banner/ advertorial from the site once a day (the better our click through stats, the more ad revenue we'll be able to generate)
3. Buy the odd mumsnet book or pictory as a gift for a friend etc - we make roughly £3 a sale (see home page for links).
4. When the shop's up and running (soon I promise) buy a mug, badge or thong!
5. If you're happy to risk your anonymity tell all your friends and colleagues about us.
6. Keep posting - it's the volume of posts and experience from you guys that makes mumsnet what it is.

Many many thanks for your concern and help. We really appreciate it.
Justine, Carrie and Rachel

Awwww Justine - thanks!!!

I'll just have to buy loads of stuff online from all the affiliates. Might have to give the thongs a miss, but I'm definitely getting a mug - maybe one for dh too

I'm off to click all your banners now!!