Thread titles

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

I know Mumsnet is a robust site used by adults but I am finding the Conception titles (which appear in Active, I am not seeking them out) a bit too much. There were mildly amusing before, but they are now, IMO, crude and unnecessary. Can they be reined in a little?

Thank-you.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

Prostitute spoken to and "moved on" (had a call from Police); have started a new thread about worms, as DS is howling in pain ...

[LaLaLaaaa]

I've actually been there myself (worms not prostitution!) and it's not nice. There's a powder or a pill that will sort it available from chemist.

[lildottie]

I can't quite believe this has come up again, and so soon! I think our title have been tame since the last thread. You realise this pathetic moaning just means when I do the next title it'll be as crude as can be just to annoy you stupid people. Walk a mile in my shoes before you start a thread about how I deal with the shit hand life has thrown me. Of course, if my next round of ivf works you may get lucky and won't get the mother of all crude titles. Some people should seriously get a life.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

Any tips? He's had the medicine and topical ointment to ease it and is howling in pain.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

lil as you wish, though I think you haven't rtft, as the discussion has moved on a bit and you don't seem to be aware some of us who don't find them amusing have also had difficulties with pregnancies.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

Oh, and an alternative point of view is not "pathetic moaning", we just deal with our disappointments differently, just no less validly.

[burntthesprouts]

Wasn't there one with the phrase cunt cushion' recently? I must admit to finding them OTT - provocatively trying to provoke a reaction - in a fuck you world way but I guess it's all free expression and a way to vent when going through the horrors - am sure not everyone on the threads enjoys the language - hope no one who is going through it all is put off by it but as I don't read the threads am not sure there is any debate about it on there?

[jellypi3]

I don't think we have ever used "cunt cushion" in a title.

But guess what's in the next thread title now!!!!!

I give up with being civil with some people. Just deal with it and blow your baby dust over each other in sparkle sparkle land.

[DulcetMoans]

Well it feel like a bit of knickers in a twist two if you post in site stuff asking them to rein us in! That's not just having an opinion, it's asking MN to impose that opinion on another group of people.

And I don't think any of us are implying we are the only ones to go through the pain of TTC and you can't possibly understand if you don't take part. I would hope that if you were struggling with the things that had happened to you then you could find an appropriate thread and group of people to support you. This is the group we choose.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

jelly that's rather rude: is my full-term stillbirth less worthy of consideration than your infertility? My life isn't at all "sparkle sparkle" land, nor is my experience of pregnancy. Be as crude as you want, just don't negate what I feel with such a dismissive comment.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

I thought Site Stuff was for genuine questions about the form/etiquette/manner of posts, which my query was. MNHQ may well not comment or say that it's all fine, but I don't think I am wrong to raise an issue and I have striven to be polite and measured in my Op and my responses.

[SoupDragon]

You realise this pathetic moaning just means when I do the next title it'll be as crude as can be just to annoy you stupid people

That attitude explains a lot.

[SoupDragon]

I'll never understand why some people have an "I'll do whatever I like and don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks" attitude and think it's perfectly Ok to insult those who feel differently.

Oh, and FWIW, DD too over 2 years of TTC. [shrug]

[jellypi3]

twoandtwo I am genuinely sorry you have suffered such a shit situation, I really am. And my comment isn't negating any suffering anyone goes through. Everyone suffers in their own way. And everyone deals with it in their own way. We do not throw our titles down your throats and force you to read them. The fact is people seem to get precious over words and ideas, if expressing those words in a funny way gives a select group of people enjoyment then who is it harming?

At the end of the day it's simply words and letters. we are not screaming that we are dealing with worse shit than others, Christ none of us would deal with what you have gone through. Just don't assume things about us because of a god damn title.

[honeysucklejasmine]

Soup l think what it explains is that it's quite tiresome and very upsetting having our support network dragged through the mud on a regular basis. We get accused of being pathetic and attention seeking and oh so offensive (not necessarily just on this thread) so I don't think its very shocking that eventually you snap and rise to it.

For the record... We aren't cliquey, we don't have in jokes as all are fully explained, and we don't really think about other peoples reactions to our titles at all! They are for us. We're not trying to offend, attention seek or provoke, we're trying to make each other laugh. MNHQ have said they don't mind, so we will continue to do so.

Two Of course Jelly didnt mean that re:baby dancing and sparkles... That doesn't mean "everyone has is easy except us"... It means " we are adults and will quite openly discuss sex without censoring with euphemisms and sickly sweet imagery", as some would have us do.

Jelly sorry for jumping in, but I know you'd be mortified to be misunderstood.

[honeysucklejasmine]

Ah, cross post Jel

[Fattycow]

When I first joined, I thought "WTF?" about the JS threads. Then I started reading one. And carefully posting in one. When the next thread came along, I understood the title, as it referred to things happening in the thread before. You could say the titles are full of in-jokes, but everyone is more than happy to explain them to anyone new to the thread.

[LaLaLaaaa]

They are such a welcoming group, it's such a shame to see them getting picked on just because of some words in a title.

If we posted about 'my dh can't get an erection' in relationships I doubt there would be complaints.

It's a coping mechanism and the titles are taken from something funny that came up on the previous thread. Everyone takes it in turn to write the new title so everyone gets a turn.

When I started ttc I was drawn to the group because I've got a bit of an off the wall sense of humour and I felt they 'got' me. It was a revelation because I'd not found any other antenatal club I felt I fitted in with.

MNHQ have previously said they respect the different views on MN and allow people to express themselves as long as it's not bullying, racism etc. and that they didn't have a problem with the titles.

[EmmanuelleMumsnet]

Hi there,

Just popping in to say we're aware of this thread, and we'll discuss at MNHQ next week when there are more people around.

But as Olivia has said previously, please do report any thread title that is beyond the pale. We will always take a look, and we will suggest a title edit or do it from here if we concur.

And remember you can hide threads or even whole topics you don't like!

But in general if MNers are getting support from humour that is making them laugh then that's fine by us.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

I have not followed one of the threads, mostly because it's not my particular need. I did not realise there was a sense of the posters therein being "picked on" though if it does keep coming-up, perhaps the way they are titled ought to be looked into? Jel I came to that conclusion not from the titles but from something posted, so apologies if I misunderstood what was meant.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

Thanks Emmanuelle.

[Happyfriday]

I am late joining this thread but I don't like the titles and I would not be comfortable joining the thread for that reason (experienced infertility myself too.)

[iwashappy]

Surely it's what in the thread that is important, not the title. "Sod the elections we want erections" was amusing anyway.

I know this has already been mentioned but why has this come up again. If the conception topic can be hidden and this doesn't come up in Active then just hide it if it's so offensive.

They like jokey titles, just leave them be they're not doing any harm. The threads are really supportive and certainly not attention seeking. Perhaps read them before you criticise and no I'm not on the threads but had a look last time they got unfairly criticised and have dipped in and out since.

MNHQ please don't force polite titles on them.

I do think people are a lot more interested in criticising than supporting and I think that's a shame. I started a thread in chat www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2384741-Thank-you-for-the-support-threads-even-the-ones-with-rude-words-in a few days ago advocating support for support threads and mentioning the ladies in conception and not one person posted on it! Miserable lot But criticise one and people are quite happy to join in.

[LaLaLaaaa]

If you read the last thread where someone objected to the title wrongly as they actually misunderstood what it meant there were more people posting in support of the jsers thread titles than not.

They also had a heap of people come onto the current thread at the time to say they thought the threads were great and supportive and saying they were on the side of there being nothing wrong with the titles.

They then had another 3-4 new people join as a result of the complaining thread - who are all still on it now, having been welcomed and supported.

That doesn't sound to me like an immature attention seeking clique.

Just leave them alone. I'd rather see their quirky titles than many the moany up-their-own-arse aibu whingy titles or the 50 millionth extremely bland thread entitled 'what do you think of the name Rufus?'

May I remind you all also of a particular classic MN thread - that will go down in history - entitled....

....'do you dunk your penis?'

[Bakeoffcake]

Agree with you Soupdragon.