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Original poster

A slightly hypothetical question about 'fictional' posters

35 replies

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 14:46

I thought this might be the best topic for this.

What would, or do, you do if you come across a poster you really start to suspect is creating an entirely imaginary persona?

I don't mean people who come on and post goady, inflammatory OPs under a new username, or even those whose situation seems to escalate even within the same thread. I mean posters who maintain a pretty consistent profile across the site - just something about them or their situations makes you think that it is entirely fictional?

Now I'm not naive and have been on here a long time, I know the 99% of MN is probably complete bollocks (though don't get me wrong, there's a huge amount of great and supportive stuff on here) Also of course there's nothing wrong with making up a different life on here. It's certainly not against any rules.

I guess I'm also thinking about a poster who was banned a while ago for creating a fictional life which drew a lot of people in, got them to share some very personal and emotional things, and really hurt a lot of people when it was revealed to be entirely made up.

So if you see a poster, who you just have a gut feeling is making a lot up, and you have a worry that maybe over time - months, years - it is slowly escalating and might turn into that situation again where many, many people have been 'sucked in' (for lack of a better phrase) and then the poster will have a massive drama/event that could upset other posters - what would you do?

Sorry if this hasn't made any sense. I can't really explain it without getting more specific, which certainly wouldn't be fair or right.

OP posts:

BIWI · 06/04/2015 14:50

I would report it to MNHQ with as much information as I could to support why I felt that way.

usualsuspect333 · 06/04/2015 14:52

I tend to just ignore them now.

You could report your concerns to MNHQ but I'm not sure there is much they can do about a determined troll.

SanityClause · 06/04/2015 14:53

Well, I think this is the only thing you can do.

Frankly, I'm amazed people can pull this off. I would never be able to remember all the minutiae of my fictional persona.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 06/04/2015 14:55

Well pretending to be someone you're not to get your jollies on the Internet is trolling. So report it and then leave it be.

Not sure why that didn't occur to you unless you've been her about 5 minutes and have never seen an Olivia and link to the talk guidelines?

usualsuspect333 · 06/04/2015 14:55

Also many posters to seem to thrive on other peoples dramas. So if you even hinted on a suspect thread you were suspicious you would get lynched.

Lweji · 06/04/2015 14:58

I'd leave it alone.

You don't want the Russian government on your case. www.theguardian.com/world/2015/apr/02/putin-kremlin-inside-russian-troll-house

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 15:13

If you have problems with a particular poster, just report it so that MNHQ can keep things under advisement. (TSSDNCOP) I've seen situations on other internet sites where people have been badly damaged through being sucked in to fictional dramas. (I'm sure it happens/could happen on MN also.)

Then leave it alone.

MythicalKings · 06/04/2015 15:18

I wonder how this could happen. It must be someone with a very good memory. I think most of us change some details to avoid being outed but inventing a whole other life requires too much effort, I would have thought.

Crossfitmyarse · 06/04/2015 15:22

I was wondering this too….in fact I almost started the same thread prompted by my suspicions, so I am guessing someone is at the forefront of your mind right now?

In recent months there have been two posters who really got my spidy senses twitching. One of them wove some pretty intricate webs but then tripped herself up spectacularly, several times, with outright lies and conflicting stories. When I challenged her on the thread it all went quiet, so I reported her, the threads got deleted/locked 'while we check out inconsistencies' or whatever the official line was….and I've not seen hide nor hair of her since. No explanation, no thread asking 'whatever happened to that girl who claimed xyz?…' very annoying, like following a series of something all the way through and then missing the last episode with no chance of an i-player catch up.

I can't be the only one wondering about her, she was all over the board like a rash for a while with two or three concurrent dramas going on.

And then there was another one who I couldn't hand on heart say I knew was a troll, but so many things she said just didn't add up or sit right with me. She had a very, very unusual set of circumstances going on that I just couldn't buy into but I didn't have enough evidence to nail my colours to the mast. Having said that, there never seemed to be any major escalating dramas, it all plodded along quite mundanely, so maybe she was for real.

She seems to have disappeared as well now though. I was always waiting for her big drama to hit so I could say 'Boom! Gotcha!' but it never did.

There are LOADS of people who I don't think are trolls, I think they are genuine about their life story and their current situations as they see it, but I think they quite possibly have a very, very skewed perception of reality and the truth. I often think, when they are telling their long tales of woe about toxic mothers or whatever, that I would love to hear the other side of the story for a balance because some people so seem more than a bit ….eccentric and er….dramatic.

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 15:23

Not so. I've seen it done.

CarbeDiem · 06/04/2015 15:24

I'd report it to MNHQ but a question for all on thread, if I may - if you could see that 1 or 2 posters appeared to be drawn in too far would you PM them to say something?
I'm not sure if I would, I think I'd want to. I wouldn't say anything on thread.
I'm so gullible quite crap at spotting stuff like this anyway so probably not a situation I'll find myself in. Just curious.

Coconutty · 06/04/2015 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 15:31

It's a difficult one, Cross. Some people genuinely lead lives that would leave many of us gobsmacked. Some people up the drama a bit, some people up the drama a lot - and some people plain invent. You can't always tell on many boards what the facts might be.

I think that the best you can do is to approach threads honestly if you're minded to respond. No-one who does that can be held wrong in my view - even if the poster who started things is conniving or deeply misguided.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 06/04/2015 15:31

We did have one where most of her threads got deleted but many, bizarrely are still standing. Mnhq sorted it out. It is trolling especially if you make up a story with an emotive topic (the one I got sucked in on was premature birth) on purpose as it's not fair on those of us that are genuinely using those boards for advice and support. Still I'd rather be occasionally sucked in on the chance I could be helping out others, including lurkers, with my response

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 15:33

Personally, I wouldn't Carbe - but I might well include the thought in any report to MN.

DramaAlpaca · 06/04/2015 15:38

Report your concerns & suspicions to MNHQ so they can investigate & maybe keep an eye on them.

Personally, if I felt this way about a poster I wouldn't engage with them on MN at all, and wouldn't post on any of their threads.

Original poster

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 16:24

The reason I asked rather than just reported is that in all honesty, the poster hasn't done a thing wrong. It's not like when you (sadly) read a thread on an emotive topic and think - yeah, right. So it kind of seemed wrong to report someone if they haven't said anything that might upset someone. Like you say, usual, they can't do anything about a determined troll and they certainly can't do anything about someone who hasn't done anything wrong.

I suppose this is just the first time that I remember where a particular name has registered for me, rather than simply a thread that seems suspect.

And is it fair to report someone when they aren't really doing anything wrong?

OP posts:

usualsuspect333 · 06/04/2015 16:29

They won't know you have reported them though. MNHQ will keep an eye if you report and say 'I think this poster is dodgy'

I want to know who you mean

FatFromAllTheMassiveEggs · 06/04/2015 16:36

Am slightly paranoid this is me now. As something happened to me yesterday that really tied in with the theme of a thread and I worried people wouldn't believe it.

Original poster

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 16:40

usual

Sorry to make anyone paranoid! I didn't mean to.

I'll report them and explain - you're right, if things snowball than at least MN might have an eye. I doubt it will - I hope they are not that sort of poster, there's no reason so suspect they are - just that the poster who was dodgy a while ago made me realise how much a long-term troll can really hurt people by getting them to buy into a whole life story.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 16:44

Your report wouldn't mean they were automatically kiboshed though, Thurlow. I assume you would have some reason for your suspicion (however half-assed that reason was) so all it might do would be to give a 'heads-up' to MNHQ staff so that they could keep a general eye on the poster if needs be.

You might be totally wrong - so be it. As long as you weren't doing it every 10 minutes, I suspect HQ staff would rather know that you were edgy about something than be unwarned and have to deal with the consequences of an explosion later on in the day.

cozietoesie · 06/04/2015 16:44

x post

Original poster

Thurlow · 06/04/2015 16:49

I'm not doing it every ten minutes, but I am aware my reasons will probably sound inanely half-assed and they'd be reading the report thinking - wtf?

OP posts:

DrankSangriaInThePark · 06/04/2015 16:49

Let's face it, half the people always named as MN royalty etc have been outed as complete fantasists, and iirc at least one of those top threads from the past 15 yrs was a fantasist, or banned poster or something.
I think the main problem for HQ is when a lying fantasist doesn't pist goadyfuckery, or gets people to drive and rescue them, or send them pies and a million quid, but 'just' makes stuff up....both IMO are abhorrent, but I'm not sure that Hq can do much about the latter....

I have about 6 on the spreadsheet at the moment, all regular, longterm posters, all IMO, spouting utter tripe.

MNHQ

DawnMumsnet · 06/04/2015 16:51

Hi Thurlow, hi everyone,

Would you like some MNHQ input here too? We're happy to explain things, even if (under the terms of TSSDNCOP) we may not give you ALL the answers.

Basically, if you suspect something or someone is not genuine, report, report, report. We love reports! And we'll always reply. The more information you can give us, the better, obviously, but even if it's just a 'can you check this one out please', we'll make time to do that.

The internet being what it is, we can't ever really guarantee someone is who they say they are. And it's the same with threads - they may be 100 per cent genuine, or the OP may have changed a few details to avoid being identified - which is perfectly understandable - or, of course, they may be completely made up. A lot of the time, we'll never know.

Our major concern, though, is if they've been started with malicious intent. If somebody is posting about an emotive topic and we suspect they're not on the level, we'll step in pretty quickly - provided it's been reported.

If it's a lighthearted thread with no danger of hurting anybody, we're more likely to turn a blind eye. For a while, at least.

But we only know what's going on if you report. And in answer to your last question, Thurlow, yes, it's absolutely fine to report someone even when they aren't doing anything wrong. Just leave it to us to decide.

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