When a thread upsets you

[Wickeddevil]

Do mind if I ask what you do?

In real life I have the support of friends and colleagues when a situation upsets me. At work I also have formal supervision to reflect upon difficult issues. In addition when appropriate I am able to take direct action to intervene.

So what about mumsnet? A current thread is making me really sad and I have been thinking about it a lot today. it resonates with me because it echoes some issues from my own childhood, but mainly I feel so angry and helpless for the child concerned.

Do you continue to post and try to influence the poster or do you step away? I would really appreciate some views

Thanks

Do you mind doh....

Maybe hide the thread if advice isn't helping or if it's upsetting you?

I immediately hide it. I've run into a couple of threads recently where people were being rude about my opinion so I hid it immediately.

And then I don't give it a second thought - though I have noticed that there's a couple of posters who are following me about being nit picky with me

There's always going to be upsetting threads - I hide the animal abuse ones or the ones where people are being racist or disablist.

You don't have to change the world

Thank lessons and Laurie. I haven't really thought about hiding threads. I can see too about not needing to solve the worlds problems. But sometimes, do you feel you have some responsibility?
I mean if a situation appears really wrong to you, but you can't see the OP taking it in board?

I know this feeling and have been there a couple of times, especially if I identify with or feel really sorry for the OP. But I've been Mumsnetting for a couple of years now and have worked out at what point to withdraw, once I've given the OP some factual information as to how to change her situation as it's then her choice and I've done what I can. 15 years of working in homelessness makes it hard for me to ignore issues but makes it easier to disengage iyswim. If I think it'd help them I always offer a PM.

I suspect yours is a bit different, and think Laurie above has the right approach - hide if it's upsetting you, life's too short and it's unlikely you'll change a racist's mind through reasoned argument on an anonymous forum. Don't feel bad and hide away

Lessons thanks for your reply, although it is not a racist thread that has upset me.

I think you idea to offer a PM is a sound one though, unfortunately I suspect the OP concerned is not able / doesn't want to change and so a PM
Isn't too likely to be any more successful.
I will disengage, but wanted to know the views of others.
Thanks again

It's hard when the thread involves a young child and I think I know the thread you mean. In that case, Ii would try and write a post thy makes me feel like I have contributed to helping the situation. I would then hide the thread and try to move on.

When people are rude to me or about my opinion, I try to remind myself that they are only words on a screen.

This fence I think that's it. I tried to think how to get through to her, though heavens knows why I thought I could make a difference when several hundred other posters have also been ignored.

Am somewhat more robust if it's just rudeness.

Do people often get upset though? I don't often, but thinking back there have been a few threads over the years that have stayed with me, and I often wonder how things worked out.