getting together information and support for EVERYONE in the child protection system

[Spero]

I am posting here, mainly because I am not sure what I am doing and I don't want to do anything against the rules or contrary to the site ethos.

In a nutshell, a lot of us have been contributing to various threads since before Christmas about the child protection system in the UK and all the controversy that has arisen since the case of Alessandra Pacchieri and the issue of 'forced adoption'.

We have perspectives from every part of the child protection system - there are birth parents, adoptive parents, social workers, lawyers etc and we think it could be a good idea to try to do something to bring us all together, to help people get access to information that is balanced and useful, particularly if they are facing care proceedings or worried they might be.

At the moment, we are thinking a blog could help, with different people providing short posts about their experiences and providing links to other sources that we know are credible and reliable. This could be very valuable for all of us - I am a lawyer for e.g. but I would love to know more about what doctors working in child protection are looking out for, and I would like to get more perspectives from birth parents about what they think is good or bad about the system.

We are also wondering if there could be a separate topic in 'Parenting' - Dealing with child Protection issues or similar, which could link to the blog, once we get if off the ground.

So sorry quite a lot of info there. Trying to précis

1. We have a lot of untapped knowledge and experience and would like to pull it altogether to provide a good source of reliable and balanced advice
2. We would like to start a blog, does anyone want to contribute or can think of snappy name?
3. We would like to use the power of mumsnet to steer people towards our information and provide another platform for discussion and debate

4.What's the best way of going about this?

Any comments, thoughts welcomed.

Thanks Westmoreland!

Zoo, we now have a separate substance abuse section, if there is anything else you can think of which would be useful to have in it, let us know.

Brilliant post just gone up from mumsnetter re emotional abuse!

to think, just a few weeks ago NONE of this existed. Its ruddy brilliant.

I am in awe.

Me too!

It looks amazing! It's professional but not in a scary way. Easy to navigate with clear, understandable advice. I'm so impressed by how quickly you've managed to pull all this together.

It is perhaps more understandable when you realise just how much of our time we have devoted to Arguing With People on the Internet about this.

the upside is - we are now very clear about what we need to say!

And the input from others who are NOT lawyers or social workers is invaluable and it is their input which will make this work.

I've had exams so have been off mn for a few days, but wow, look at what you've done in just a few days! Agree with AF - I am in awe.

The site is looking very lovely

I agree is it has a very professional feel and the info is user-friendly (although if Really Picky I liked the warmth of the browns/oranges/autumnal colours on the original blog, but then they are my favourites!)

And so much on there already! Really valuable info on threshold criteria etc. - it is info that was explained to our family at the time of proceedings, but it would have so helped to have had something straightforward like that to have made reference to outside of legal meetings etc. There is so much to take in at the time.

Thanks nose!

I think its looking great!

I was thinking that maybe we need something concise that sums up our recommendations, kind of an antithesis of 'the golden rules'. This is my idea but please don't feel like you have to say its good.

I thought of the acronym ALERT standing for.

Attention
Listen
Engage
Respond
Trust

Attention- draw Social Services attention if you feel that there are children at risk or who need additional support.

Listen- If the Social Worker is telling you somethingm no matter how hard it is to hear, try to really listen and take in what is being said.

Engage- Always attend meetings, allow Social Workers access to you and the child/ren involved. Show you realise how serious it is and engage with each step of the process.

Respond- If you are asked to do something then act on it. If Social Services raise concerns about the state of your house, clean-up. Your drinking, seek help. A violent relationship, make steps towards ending it etc etc.

Trust- trust that Social Workers aren't involved as they want to steal your child, trust that they are working within a legal framework and most importantly trust that they are working in the best interest of your child, even if you disagree on what that is.

That ALERT is great

Thats a brill acronym, I will put it up now!

And you're up!
www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/be-alert/

Thanks. I've realised I've made a typo on something under listen. If you could ammend it that would be great.

ooops, my proof reading skills are not the greatest.

I love ALERT

Zoo - your post is so moving and, frankly, humbling. Thank you for being willing to share your experience

Yes, Zoo's post left me struggling to find words. Very moving.

Just wondering if a few links to more info about how to spot emotional abuse might be helpful to include? These are just some which seem quite comprehensive, but there may well be others out there.

www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/online-advice/emotional-abuse/emotional-abuse-a_wda87104.html

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/emotional_abuse.html

domesticviolenceuk.org/emotionally-abusive-relationships/

Brilliant, that will go up. I will do a second post under heading emotional abuse and include those links.

I'm a bit emotionally shattered to write anything tonight, I will try and expand the drug and alcohol section and write the social class is irrelevant bits tomorrow. But can we add

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/
and
ukna.org/
and maybe even
www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/ Spero you will have an idea of how significant this is, maybe less so than the other two, I don't really have an idea.

Nose, your links are responsible for at least 25% of the good stuff we have got!

See what you think about what I have done with the links

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/what-is-emotional-abuse-and-what-should-i-do-about-it/

Thanks zoo, I will get those links up.

OK, I think we are nearly ready to go.

Family law week say they will publicise our site in a news item in their email which goes out to over 10,000 subscribers.

So if anyone is still wavering over their contribution, waver no more.

Eeek

I will submit tomorrow Spero, been knackered from Monday but haven't forgotten x

I like what you have done with the links Spero - a good job of explaining the key points!

A certain amount of my work used to be pulling together resources and encouraging people to make use of them when supporting others - there is often more out there then we realise. Having good resources available and making use of them can actually prevent the need for more formal and serious resources such as social services (well it used to be the case before all the funding cuts! ).

That's why identifying family support needs earlier down the line is so important.

Am wondering also if a run down of what ISN'T considered serious abuse might also help, balance things out a bit and reassure people. Can't remember where I saw it now but there was a good explanation that we can all display abusive behaviour from time to time, but it is having the insight and ability to recognise it as wrong, apologise and take steps to put things right, which is such an important thing; and may even make a difference as to whether a child stays with a parent or not. Abusers often don't or won't agree that what they are doing is wrong, which is why is it so harmful.

(And why of course advice which dismisses the whole issue of emotional harm is so wrong, but hey why am I rambling, you know that!)