getting together information and support for EVERYONE in the child protection system

[Spero]

I am posting here, mainly because I am not sure what I am doing and I don't want to do anything against the rules or contrary to the site ethos.

In a nutshell, a lot of us have been contributing to various threads since before Christmas about the child protection system in the UK and all the controversy that has arisen since the case of Alessandra Pacchieri and the issue of 'forced adoption'.

We have perspectives from every part of the child protection system - there are birth parents, adoptive parents, social workers, lawyers etc and we think it could be a good idea to try to do something to bring us all together, to help people get access to information that is balanced and useful, particularly if they are facing care proceedings or worried they might be.

At the moment, we are thinking a blog could help, with different people providing short posts about their experiences and providing links to other sources that we know are credible and reliable. This could be very valuable for all of us - I am a lawyer for e.g. but I would love to know more about what doctors working in child protection are looking out for, and I would like to get more perspectives from birth parents about what they think is good or bad about the system.

We are also wondering if there could be a separate topic in 'Parenting' - Dealing with child Protection issues or similar, which could link to the blog, once we get if off the ground.

So sorry quite a lot of info there. Trying to précis

1. We have a lot of untapped knowledge and experience and would like to pull it altogether to provide a good source of reliable and balanced advice
2. We would like to start a blog, does anyone want to contribute or can think of snappy name?
3. We would like to use the power of mumsnet to steer people towards our information and provide another platform for discussion and debate

4.What's the best way of going about this?

Any comments, thoughts welcomed.

[Spero]

thanks! I will add that to my post.

[Spero]

Sorry weregoingtothezoo, I note you DID say on Thurs that you were happy for your blog to be linked so I am linking it now!!!

[weregoingtothezoo]

I should have caught up with the thread before sending a pm to Spero!

That link is briliiant - it should be given to all parents as a kind of booklet. It's really easy to read and not patronising. I wish I'd had it, I really do. I've got tears wishing I'd got better educated and less defensive and angry.

Regarding significant harm, yes, it is clear and comprehensible to me. Would it be worth pointing out that they often need a lot of detail to make this decision? This is horrible and shameful and terrible to write about, but when I'd been drinking in charge of my little 4 yo DD, they wanted to know all the details about what DD was doing, whether she'd been given food or entertainment etc. The details are the bits that torture me but they are so necessary.

[Spero]

I think that is a good idea. I will put in some examples from my own cases about what was - and what wasn't - considered significant harm.

There are also different considerations if the LA wants to remove a child before a final hearing, and I will deal with that.

thanks again. I am under no illusions that this is painful for some of you and I am very grateful that you are able and willing to help.

[Spero]

I will also find some links relating to child development and WHY things like talking, eye contact and play are so important. A lot of my clients are a bit dismissive - but it may not be being explained properly or at all and also a lot do not have good experiences of their own to draw upon. This is why the parenting classes can be so helpful.

It would be wonderful if there were any child psychologists out there who felt able to contribute. Anyone?

[YoniMatopoeia]

just want to say that this is a brilliant thing you are all doing. I wish I could help. My only involvement with SS has been looking after children when they had nowhere else to place them fir a night or two.

[PlentyOfPubeGardens]

Gratuitous bump because I think what you are doing is brilliant but have no expertise to add.

[Devora]

I am awestruck at what you have done here - great work.

Anything I can do to help?

[NoseWiperExtraordinaire]

www.jrf.org.uk/publications/parenting-support-need

Just came across this really interesting piece of research from the Joseph Rowntree Foundation which looks at "How health, education and family practitioners assess what support parents might need".

It also considers if and how these ideas were affected by factors such as practitioners' own experience of being a parent, relationships with their own parents, their ethnicity, social class, disability, and gender and that of the families they are working with. The project draws on 54 qualitative interviews with practitioners from four professional groups.

The study explores:

- the process for assessing parenting and parenting support need
- views on the nature of 'good', 'good enough' and 'risky' parenting
- the role played by practitioner and family diversity, reflection and training in this area.

[Whitershadeofpale]

I don't know is they even exist but I think it would be great to see some studies or facts about the effect on children who are witnesses to dv.

My personal experience and what I have seen a lot of both on here and elsewhere is (in the majority of cases) mothers honestly believing that if their child isn't being physically abused or neglected that living in an environment where the father or mother's partner is abusive towards her is ok.

I have lost count if the times I've heard 'yes but he would never hurt the kids' or 'he's only like it with me because i do x, y or z' or even 'I'm protecting them, I'd never let him harm them'. I think many mothers in these situations feel that they can love their child enough to compensate for a poor father.

I think a huge issue is understanding that from a child protection point of view minimising, excusing or not acknowledging that abuse in the household ALWAYS effects the child. I completely sympathise with these women who to some extent are being blamed by SS when they haven't committed any abuse themselves and are very vulnerable but I think that ultimately child protection services always have to put the child before the parents.

I think having clear studies and facts demonstrating the impact that these environments have on children may possibly help some parents who are in denial about the damage being caused to their children and help them engage with SS.

[WestmorlandSausage]

Hi everyone - Big News!!

I've now moved the site to //childprotectionresource.org.uk its still looking pretty basic but in the next few days should hopefully be snazzed up a bit.

[WestmorlandSausage]

yep i've used change a lot so once we had got the main stuff on I was going to start and bulk that side of things up a bit. Great minds!

[NoseWiperExtraordinaire]

Me too MrsDeVere!

Info for parents by the Royal College of Psychiatrists:

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/parentsandyouthinfo/parentscarers/domesticviolence.aspx

[Spero]

We're an org!

Thanks sausage.

All good suggestions, keep em coming.

I'd like us to be ready to 'launch' by end of next week.

[Whitershadeofpale]

What do we think of a 'what not to do' section drawing on our experiences. Such as; do not bury your head in the sand, do not reduse access, do not become aggressive, do not relocate etc?

As we all know there are lots of bad advise out there hopefully we can counter that with advise backed up with statistics, court judgements and real life experience.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Debunking myths is a really really good idea.

Only read first page so far so am hoping that any 'fly under the radar' stuff has been nipped in the bud.

It should be about facts and truths to help families, and also help them know what to expect and what is professional behaviour and what is not, common concerns and errors etc. Obviously nothing that could be used as 'tips' to help abuses carry on abusing! I do realise that's probably been
Jumped on alot already.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Something on being a disabled parent would be good too. Alot of myths and assumptions around that, which sw themselves fall into as it's quite rare to be dealing with this situation and the processes and procedures just aren't there for many councils

Eg 1 being physically disabled makes you an incompetent/ bad parent

Eg 2 your child is by definition 'in need' / 'at risk of neglect' if a parent has a physical disability

Eg 3 you can only access help/ funding as a disabled adult via children's services

It's these kind of myths that push disabled parents down a road that can lead to very sad conclusions. No one wants this to happen but there is a knowledge gap. Barnados published a paper on this a few tears ago, and as far as i understand it, it remains unchanged. By educating the parents themselves, it can help everyone involved.

[WestmorlandSausage]

and MiscellaneousAssortment what support people with disabilities can access from adult social care to support them in their role as a disabled parent! That is a learning area for many child services social workers

[BertieBottsJustGotMarried]

Whiter yes I think that is important. Perhaps a section on DV/when it's your partner or ex partner who is considered the risk and not you. DV is a massive massive issue and hugely under-understood (that's not a word but I hope you get what I mean). It's even harder for victims of DV to get their heads around it especially when it is their normal and/or there has been some level of DV present in your life since childhood.

[Spero]

Yes, we could do section on disabled parents in parents and carers?

Anyone out there want to tell their story?

just been tweeted this

apparently child stealing is a global conspiracy and instigated by the United Nations.

And a man in Scotland is not allowed to be a father because he wears a hat.

I am not making this up.

[inlovewithgarp]

Agreed re DV - with links to the Women's Aid site please?

www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic_violence_topic.asp?section=0001000100220002&sectionTitle=Children

I can't link on app - sorry. I am not very technical

[inlovewithgarp]

re hat. paahaa.

[LoopyLobster]

I'm a bit late to the party I know, but I wonder if the 'stories from children' section is missing for a reason?

I went through a variety of care placements including kinship, 'voluntary' agreement with parent (not particularly voluntary as it happens) and care order and various foster families. Obviously this is pretty outdated now, but the Care Leavers Association is an excellent resource and advocacy service for Care Leavers, might be worth getting their input? I am a member if you need anyone to get in touch.

CLA

Sadly, not all of my experience is positive, but insight into how children felt about the different aspects of the procedure might be useful?