Share your top tips for grans and you could win a copy of the new Gransnet book

[CariGransnet]

To celebrate the publication of the Gransnet book (which is full of great advice for grans new and old and (obviously) the perfect Christmas gift for mums/MiLs) we'd love to know what your top tips for grans would be. Let us know before 5pm on Weds 27 Nov - our two favourites will win a copy of the book.

If one of your DC has children and the other doesn't, try not to drop the childless one like a hot potato. They might be infertile and not feel able to tell you (as you like children so much)

Grandparents are the best source of unconditional love. Give it and receive it. You will be loved for ever.

Remember that things move on, and received wisdom changes. It's not worth the candle arguing.

Realise that far more children survive these days with multiple problems and the world is a scarier place in many ways than when you were growing up. But you can give your children that sense of stability.

It's time and the little things that count with children. Playing shop, cooking, teaching them to fish or build a bonfire, having the time to listen.

Make each of them feel special but treat them all equally.

Don't take it personally of people don't follow your advice. Just be grateful you were asked for an opinion or were heard.

Love is the most important thing of all. Don't let the inevitable irritations of your children and their families get in the way.

Grandchildren, not children, that sense of stability.

Grandchildren, not children, that sense of stability.

My mum is a brilliant grandma, and such a great source of support to me.

She has never once, and she would have every right to, said that I deserved my horrible teen because I'd been awful.
She is also happy to listen to me moan and just be reassuring that I am being a brilliant parent. She has Had DD1 to stay at a moments notice and is now housing her full time so she can study down there.

My mum rocks.

Fabulous advice here, I agree with almost all of it

Funnily enough, it was my father who was always banging on about nipping things in the bud, not giving them an inch, conning them into doing what we wanted.
He was not a hands on father , he was very authoritarian, but kind.

I had a light bulb moment when my 2nd child was about 6 months and 1st was 2.5.
I said "I'm very flattered that you think I'm so perfect that I should follow your advice to the letter. I happen to think there is room for improvement."
Was the first time I've seen him lost for words, and he was absolutely speechless when we told him how over the moon we were to be expecting no.3 (I just had one brother)

Mine are now 22,25 and 27, and I hope I will be able to hold on to that moment.

Be supportive of new parents, even if you don't always agree entirely.
Don't offer advice unless it's asked for and don't be offended if your advice isn't followed. Some of it will be, some of it won't.
Don't show favouritism. It's not on to keep buying random gifts for one child, but give nothing for significant events for their sibling.
Enjoy being able to indulge your grandchildren in random treats that their parents can't/won't (like ice cream at a coffee shop mid-morning).

Time is one of the most valuable resources you have to offer. Realistically you're not going to be around for your grandchildren's old age, so spend time giving them memories now. It doesn't need to be expensive or difficult - puddle splashing, hotchocolate in a cafe. Pick something and do it regularly and make it your special 'thing'.

Top tip? Remember how overwhelming it all is as a new mum, and be there - but never criticise or offer unsolicited advice. That's speaking as a dil. Then - for your grandchild - really do consider the difference between treating and undermining. Ice cream or hot chocolate mid morning? Fine. Spoon feeding when I'm trying to BLW, juice for my toddler when I only want to give water? Not so much.

If you have a talent such as sewing, knitting or baking, do try to pass that talent onto your Grandchildren, as a lot of those things are dying arts.

Never let on that you dislike the name given to your GC

Cuddle and kiss them often, especially if you don't see them often.

MIL I'm looking at you

My own DM was a fabulously indulgent and proud GM. She wanted to know everything and couldn't cuddle and kiss them enough.

I miss my DM and mourn the GP that my DC no longer have

My mother always said that the MIL's job is to keep her mouth shut. While I think that's true, I also think the MIL's (and mother's) main job is to love the grandchildren.

Some great tips - thank you - we will make sure we share with the gransnetters

Our winners are...Dwerf and NumptyNameChange

Please PM or email ([email protected]) us with your address and we will get the books off to you asap.

Oh hell - actually we loved ALL the tips so much we have arranged with the publishers to get some more copies for people to review the book on Amazon/MN/anywhere else you fancy.

So if you would like one we will add the link here later today which will give more details of how to get your hands on them.

Here's the thread where you can get your hands on one of 30 copies for review