Help! Justine's going on Channel5 News to talk about the mahoosive rise in the number of women giving birth in their 40s. Your thoughts on the reasons behind this increase would be most appreciated

[JaneGMumsnet]

Hi there,

Some of you may have read about today's ONS survey results, which reveal - amongst other things - that the number of mums giving birth in their 40s has trebled over the last twenty years:

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/sharp-rise-in-women-over-40-having-babies-7932667.html

We've been asked what you folks think about this - what the reasons behind this rise might be -and would love to hear your thoughts so that we can reflect your views as accurately as possible.

Thanks in advance,

Jane

True helly...my dad was a last baby...10 years between him and his nearest sibling(was a VJDay baby!!)

I think it's a bit of shouldism at play

You should get an education
You should attend a university
You should see a bit of the world
You should play the field before settling down
You should have a career
You should have your own home

If you ascribed to that kind of thinking that's a massive checklist to get through before procreating.

And yes, in certain "naice" areas being a mum under 25 can result in the arching of the eyebrow and pursing of the lips.

Thanks for all your comments. Brilliant stuff!

I haven't read the whole thread but had to add how cross it makes me when people 'blame' women's careers.

I don't know a single woman who did this.

However I know plenty of women who delayed or have not had children at all because they haven't met a suitable man. It's very sad for the women and it hurts to hear their assumed career obsession being touted as the cause.

Two points:

1. COUPLES choose to start a family later, not women.

2. If a COUPLE has to save tens of thousands of £s for a deposit on a house, contribute large % of their salary to their pension, pay off tuition fees/student loans etc it can be years before they can afford to have kids.

But especially Point 1

It's been said so clearly by others. The Man-Child who does not want to reproduce until he can do it with a younger model.

And yet...somehow...this is all the womens' fault

Tee, with your , you've missed the point being made by those of us complaining about the focus on women.

Yes, women are physically limited in their childbearing years, whilst men are not. We know that.

But that isn't a reason to focus solely on women. It takes two to make a baby, and the fact is that many women want to raise children with a partner. More and more people are coming on here saying that one big factor in the delay lies in the unwillingness of men.

Yes. That's the same argument my husband gave when I mentioned this discussion.

Whatever. I waited for many many other reasons than lack of a man. You can always find someone to fuck, if you want a baby.

Nobody is saying that it's the only reason.

And yes, if a woman wants to fuck someone to have a baby, that is one solution to the problem. But other people want to embark on parenthood with at least the belief that they will be raising the child with a partner. And others don't want to use a man in that way.

Most women want to bring up their children with a dad, rather than fucking some random bloke for a baby Tee.

What surprises me is that more women don't have babies on their own when they want them.

Waiting for these man children is just silly.

Margery - I think you also had a baby on your own, am I right?

I was bloody lucky that it worked first time for me, considering my age. But I can only do one (can't cope with more) and I wish I'd been in a relationship because I think it's easier so I could have had more than one and because I get really irritated by the stick that single mothers get.

Had one at 43 and one at 47. Has she been on yet. Would liked to have seen it.

My view- women are just healthier now. Other factors too though, most been mentioned.

Part of the reason is the manchild, but also the "womanchild". The earliest of my friends to have children was at 29, and at the time it seemed very early. Forward wind 5 years and the ones that haven't started seem an anomaly, but that gives you a smallish window. We were all partying too hard in our twenties to think about kids, not just the men.

Yes, there are definitely two people involved. I think the point is it's not exclusively either a 'women's' issue or a 'men's' issue. It's both, but they are interelated.

I was desperate to fall in love and settle down right through my 20s and 30s, but never made the leap in my mind to '... and then have children.' I think the reason was that all my focus was on the first part (falling in love) which I saw as a prerequisite to even considering the babies thing.

The obvious way to cope with the 'what if I never find someone?' thoughts is to steel yourself to it, and convince yourself that it doesn't really matter if you never have kids. I developed a defence mechanism in my 30s along the lines of 'kids? pah, I can't stand kids!'

So by the time I met the lovely MrP I had to be convinced to allow myself to actually feel anything clucky or maternal. It was very scary territory for me by that time! When he proposed he included the condition that I at least consider having babies. (Yes, very romantic!)

I still believe the underlying reason for my late ensprogulation was the difficulty finding a trustworthy man with sufficient maturity, but I'll shoulder my share of the blame for the state of mind I was in when I finally did meet one.