I would like to see a situation where home based childcare was the norm for children between 0-2.5, and this was tax deductible or even refundable according to a set of banded pay scales and rates (metropolitan areas, urban/suburban areas, rural areas, remote areas). This would deal with the whole gross pay/net pay nonsense in one fell swoop, and also standardise what was available. I would ditch the OFSTED approved childcarer stuff (as it is effectively meaningless in terms of children's development and the actual quality of care) and only inspect childcarers for 'elf n' safety. So anyone running a childcare business, passing the 'elf n' safety checks, and paying tax would be able to join the scheme. All childcarers providing home based care should be self-employed so parents do not have to manage payroll etc on top of everything else they have to do, and so they can deduct transport and equipment costs from their tax payments.
Childcarers taking their own children to work would face a reduction in pay in proportion to the number of children they were caring for, so if there were three children altogether and one was the childcarer's, they would face a reduction of 33 1/3% in the official rate (gets around the Spanish practices that go on where childcarers are able to work for a full salary and yet effectively get free childcare for their own children at someone else's expense, where the employers' children are experiencing reduced contact time).
Then children would move to nursery or some form of group childcare from the age of about 2.5, depending on when parents thought they were ready. This would also be tax deductible and heavily subsidised as well, so parents weren't paying more than abut 10% of their take home pay per child. Workers in specific key industries would have anti-social hours payments specifically for additional childcare costs, which would allow them to have some out of hours home based childcare as required (I am thinking of doctors, nurses, fire fighters, police and that sort of thing, as well as shift workers and air crew, to name a few examples).
In terms of school aged children (4.5 to 16), they should be cared for in school and any child requiring a place should be entitled to one. However the model for out of school care should be as domesticated as possible, with children being able to change into home clothes, have food and drink when they like, call staff by first names and generally have a more relaxed environment than during the school day. Again, no parent should spend more than 10% of take home pay per child.