If you need INSTRUCTIONS for ANY random piece of equipment etc please post it here.

[Flgihtattendant]

Hello, my name is Flight and I am an instructionoholic. I just tried to clear out my filing cabinet and have got instructions for about 200 items. Many of which are no longer in existence.

There are pushchair ones, electrical item ones, pens FGS, toys, climbing frames. You name it. If you have bought something old and useless from a boot sale, I'm your man. As it were.

Right who is first? Plikomatic travel system anyone?

hey- you're back to your 'old' name!
I'm the same... files full of them

15 yo tefal steam iron anyone?

• snap!

Oi, stop following me about, Each!

Listen, I thought about setitng up an actual website where people could exchange these...keeping stuff nobody can figure out how to use out of landfill. But I have no web talents.

Do you reckon it'd work? Someone do it for us, there's a love

Flgiht!!!! (flings arms around neck whimpering gratefully) where ya been? Have missed you something rotten. Who were you in the wilderness months?

Can you help me with predictive texting on my motorolo phone, about 18m old, flips open, don't know the model ?

Jeez a flip phone Minty settle down lovely. I'm here, it's all going to be OK do you hear.

I have a C216 if that helps. It didn't ever flip though. Or a Nokia 1280...

How are you anyway?

My electric oven. No, of course I don't know what make it is [rolleyes] but it is doing my bloody head in.

It only switches on when the clock is set but I can't set the clock properly and so I keep setting the timer and then it turns on and off at random and it's idea of 'off' is when you set it to 200 degrees but only sometimes.... [whimper]

Oh and hiya btw

I need instructions for dd2 . She emits squawking noises at random times of the day and night. Sometimes a small mouth plug solves it, but not always.

Ah Anarchy yes I have got that model in stock.

That will be £25.67 for the free download if you please.

A pen, you say?

Also I think I need instructions on how to reprogramme my blasted dp who turns said appliance off at the switch every time he comes round, thus undoing my best efforts to set the clock.

Oh that sounds v frustrating...I have got a smeg and the clock is very easy to set, but i can never bloody remember how to do it.

I usually end up setting the timer or some such disaster.

Big instructions printed on the front of the cooker would help in these instances.

sorry onepices... dd2 is probably too new... only obsolete items here!

This is a great idea! I would like to know if my Servis Automatic 800 washing machine drawer comes out? It is filthy needing a quick wipe over and I don't want to break it! I'm sure you could probably sell old manuals on ebay. I know i've bought lego ones before!

Somebody did try to palm me off with some rather outdated instructions for her, by a writer with the initials GF. . dd2 just laughed. Clearly as EPPM says, she is a new model.

Clever dd2 you have there onepiece

I usually find one of the following works with babies, whatever model

food

nappy

jiggle

change of scenery

more food

more nappy

reading financial section of chosen newspaper out loud whilst jiggling

But some babies most obstinate and continue to squawk. Maybe ask manufacturer?

Manufacturer is knackered after too many evenings/late shifts when I'm at work. He has made arrangments so that we will not be manufacturing any new models.

I suspect that the malfunction will reach a peak when we finally remove the dummy for the last time. Then I hope that things will calm down significantly.

OK, I've got a challenge for you instruction bods. Slow cooker Cordon Bleu Twin Heat, it's about 20 years old.
Much appreciated