having lurked on MN for some while, this is exactly why I hesitated to get involved with the charitable efforts going on.
I have noticed chatty threads about spending/getting drunk/having the crappest dp in Christendom frittering away joint money etc interspersed with I'm so down because we have no money, all from the same poster.
Some posters appear genuine and have had to endure a horrible sequence of crap events which have dragged them down and down and I wish I knew one personally 'cos I'd happily hand over say £500 to stop that person worrying for a month or so and give them time to think clearly but there are those to whom the priority would be to spend it all on a fantastic Christmas for the kids as "they musn't suffer because we are poor" or to redecorate the lounge.
Instead I will wait until January and yet again bail out an old friend whose husband will take advantage by not doing any work for 3 weeks instead of 2 over the Christmas holiday period leaving my friend to worry about the bills coming in during January. I kept giving her money to put away for the kids and she told me it always got raided when there is a financial crisis or once she spent it on a lovely frilly party frock for her daughter and a mini three piece suit outfit for her son for a wedding they went to. One-off outfits, which being a miserable curmudgeon, I considered a bit wasteful, I was disappointed to say the least. I say nothing as we are very old friends but I try now to find ways to give so that it can't be frittered.
Does no-one live within their means these days ?
I am from quite a poor background, we never went hungry but clothes were second/third hand and mended 'til they couldn't be mended any more, bed sheets were repaired etc etc, we had no holidays unless my grandparents paid for them and we had no children's savings to blow when we reached 18. (Don't get me wrong, we were happy and the relative size of our house prevented us being embarassed to invite kids back to our home, it might have been shabby but it was large )
Can I just suggest to those who think that they can afford a good Christmas, try to hold back a bit/restrain yourself unless you already have a rainy day fund.
What would happen if you or your dp/dh lost their job in January. If more people took the need to have a rainy day fund seriously instead of joining in the massive consumer fest that Christmas has become there'd be less people on A.D's dreading the approach of Christmas. Your kids don't need so many toys/their own tv/dvd/ a fully co-ordinated bedroom/smart new clothes etc, they need you to keep a roof over their heads and feed and clothe them and be able to spend time with them without feeling miserable about money worries.
I can feel the flamethrowers warming up to respond to this post.