Best books for new mum?

[fairibell]

right as a first time mum who never expected to be bringing her baby home (having lost our frist daughter last year at 26 weeks), We have muddled through until now (DD is now 10 weeks)! so think i need a book, want to get some kind of routine started... what would you recommend??

Hi fairibell,

So sorry for the loss of your daughter, and congratulations on the birth of your second daughter. You must have been on a rollercoaster of emotions over the last year.

I very much doubt you are just muddling through however most of the mums I work for like The contented baby book by Gina Ford. IMO I would take out the bits that you like and leave the rest. Routines have to work for the whole family. I also have found some useful info on this website www.askbaby.com

I was about to say the same as poshtottie. Gina Ford accompanied by a large pinch of salt. Worked for me.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your first daughter. I lost DS's twin at 35 weeks and I think that rollercoaster of emotions made me even more determined to have a bit of routine where everything else felt like chaos. Hope it works for you.

Message withdrawn

Pruners I haven't heard of that book, but will add it to my list.

Im with fearlessfreak...baby whisperer all the way, very gentle and adaptable but works, had my youngest two in that routine v.early and its fab. Good luck and congratulations!

I have both of these books if you would like to borrow them. Lots of good advice in both.

As I said before you take what you want from any book. The only person who knows your baby well is you.

i'm the queen of baby books, bought baby whisperer and gina ford contented little baby, as well as 1970s Penelope Leach book second hand before DS was born, as well as what to expect the first year. What to expect was fab, but neither of the other two were even slightly helpful. Baby whisperer was great for two weeks, but is really written for easy babies, and doesn't hlp you out once they get past 6 months. Gina Ford is punishing, and she writes no time for your sleep in her routines, as well as being pretty anti breastfeeding. The best book I can recommend, which we still love now, 18months on is called Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child. We bought it off amazon. The advice for first four months really understands mothers, and at 6 months we taught our son to sleep and haven't looked back since. The guy's a doctor and a sleep expert, something most mums are really missing at 10 weeks

Also, try your library, and then buy what you use and find helpful.

I hesitate to say this as you have asked for books but if you've muddled through for 10 weeks, you're probably doing fine on your own. No-one else will be doing any better! Poshtottie is right, and when I was a first time mum I tied myself in knots reading every book going, they're all just someone else's opinion of how to bring up babies & if you're lacking confidence makes things worse.
However, I would thoroughly recommend a book about mums not babies called What Mothers Do. I have given/loaned this to loads of friends and they've all said how wonderful it is.

Congratulations, and I'm so sorry about your loss.
I was going to say exactly what accessorizequeen said. I think it's easy to read so many books that you forget to listen to your instincts - I got into a massive muddle trying to follow too many sets of instructions. Then I found What Mothers Do, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. And I, too, buy copies for everyone I know who is having a baby. It's a wonderful, reassuring, sensible, uplifting book.

I'm so sorry to hear about your first baby, Fairibell.

What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen is the most comforting, reassuring read ever. It's amazing. And it's easy to read too.

Everyone muddles through though! It doesn't really end with babyhood.

I would second What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen. IT IS A BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BOOK and Stadlen should have had far more recognition for it. Every mum should be given one. Well done Fairibell, so sorry about your first baby and I am sure you are doing brilliantly.

Hi Fairibell - I would agree, a copy of Gina Ford is useful to help with ideas about how many feeds/sleeps, etc. (roughly - take her advice with caution and use your own common sense!!).

The crucial book though has to be the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. It's practical, very down to earth and helpful and sorted us out brilliantly, all the way through with our daughter, who's not an 'easy' but I reclon pretty 'average' baby! ...Especially with sleep issues/starting a routine, which we did around 10 weeks. It's not that long and runs chronologically if I remember. I will be buying a copy for my sis when she's pregnant, without doubt! (And her Toddler book's brill too, which we now use, as dd is 16 months.)

Enjoy your baby while she's so little and congrats!

Another vote for Tracey Hogg's The Baby Whisperer here.

Another vote for What Mothers Do - it was EXACTLY what I needed at that particular time.

Well if you want to read I'd embrace the opportunity while your dd is still a baby and catch up on all the books you've wanted to read but never found the time to...

Life of Pi is good

The book theif also

Haruki Murikami's books are also very well writen and totally engrossing.

As for the baby books, well read them if you must, but read a selection, pick and mix the bits you like, take them with a pinch of salt, laugh ludicrously at some of the ridiculous suggestions, nod at the bits you agree with, and then chuck the books out.

Th only thing I can think a copy of Gina Ford would be good for would be to swat flies with, or maybe burn for some warmth if your heating gets cut off? Or propping up a wonky table?

what mothers do..obviously.

and also..
understanding your crying baby -by sheila kitzinger

social baby (can't think of author but you can find it on amazon)

Nothing to do with creating a routine, but a wonderfully reassuring (and funny) book is How not to be a Good Mother, by Libby Purves - really lovely to read.

Whoops - a Perfect Mother, not a Good mother, sorry!

I'm so sorry about your loss.

I've been given a book that looks coffee-table, but is actually the MOST practical, warm and adaptable ever: First Time Parent by Lucy Atkin. Very respectful of the baby as well as the mother, recommends a variety of sleep and feed solutions, and accepts babies differ. All suggestions are backed up with solid science (the writer is a health journalist, I think?), so they aren't one woman's hobby-horses. Work is discussed, and breastfeeding is supported but not rammed down your throat. She has 3 kids and makes it clear that different stuff works with different babies - apparently her youngest newborn wailed until she stopped trying to cuddle him, all he wanted was to be put down, and that hadn't occurred to her after two previous who wanted the opposite! A friend who used Baby Whisperer said to me it was similar, only more pro-breast and a lot less twee. (No neat little categorisations for baby "types".)

I bought a million books and this is the only one I actually like - the writer treats you like another intelligent adult, not a student, which I appreciated. It also reads like someone whose childrearing you could get behind, if that makes sense.