Wedding outfit for autistic 11 year old

[SpangleTwangle]

Hello,

I am bringing my family to my brother's wedding, dress code formal. In March.

My daughter is 11 and diagnosed autistic (low care needs). She is really anxious about the event mostly because of crowds, staying in an unfamiliar place but the most difficult thing for her is finding an outfit.

She absolutely will not wear dresses or skirts. She is really sensitive to fabrics and can't wear things that are tight or restrictive, wearing only joggers or loose clothes with elastic waists that fit baggy (she is slender). I tried to suggest she could go for a shirt and trousers (madly hopefully thinking she might try a shirt as secondary school looms) but she isn't up for this either.

Has anyone got any ideas/links for something appropriate? Like fancy beautiful joggers (she used to have some cool ones from River Island) or any ideas? Soft fabrics, clever waistbands etc. I'm at a bit of a loss and it's soon!

many thanks

My daughter is 14 but circumstances very similar.

She wore her exact school trousers, but managed to get them in navy blue, a soft knitted polo shirt in beige, and a soft blazer (just £25ish from Amazon - more like a waterfall cardigan I guess). We let her get some navy and beige Adidas Sambas to tie it all together. She looked lovely.

Would some kind of jumpsuit be an option? Or some kind of harem pants? Honestly I'd try not to stress, I went through similar with my AuDHD pre-teen and even my mum thought she looked fine in pin striped trousers and a jumper with a collar that she picked out at h and m.

Would she wear something like this?https://www.shein.co.uk/goods-p-355148440.html?goods_id=355148440&test=5051&url_from=adhub248295647&scene=1&pf=google&ad_type=DPA&language=en&siteuid=uk&version_bid=101986081,102001861&version_eid=100769286&landing_page_id=1510&ad_test_id=46555&requestId=olw-5fw5uv9shtnv&cid=22669110163&gad_source=1&skucode=I9d9c1lhgngt&onelink=0/google_feed_uk&network=g&gad_campaignid=22669110163&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhaHMBhD2ARIsAPAU_D7zaEC94DdSHa0nsY1JyLPisFPv2K59bAbmvM-8BKSXT7Gaol-Z9ScaAr7VEALw_wcB&adid=757668147336&tv_b=2&ismg=8ed89b661dbff998875c471652e841af60f06fc2848ef8e23e3c6ce473d75205_01_1770550353&geoid=9195127&setid=181064339499&kwd=pla-2438172525315&currency=GBP&lang=en

I think if she wore 'smart' black joggers and a plain top in black or a neutral colour it would look fine.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su823686/h82704?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=8000299803&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UVoYImRD4qi3rbg2uPS0PbqO&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhaHMBhD2ARIsAPAU_D7d64RD3SxDjsKiXR16ulzIhlzTpOZZ-ApmrOtsWbVnJjz2j50n8F4aAuXgEALw_wcB

This kind of thing perhaps?

How tall is she? If she’s approaching 5’ then perhaps try women’s range and, as wide legged trousers are in, you might well find you have a range of options so then it will be a question of combining that with a top that she likes.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su059247/v28863

Or these? Next seems to have quite a few suitable things.

Soft loose trousers and a silky top? Does depend a bit on your family, mine wouldn’t have flinched at what dd wore but others are more judgemental (my dd is autistic but actually has no clothing issues)

In this exact scenario I found my dd a wavy knit jumpsuit. It flowed like a dress, but it was soft and comfortable and most distinctly was not a dress. She looked fantastic and happy.

Thanks guys, perhaps a jumpsuit will work, I also like the soft jersey trousers. I should have mentioned she is on the small size so age 10-11 fits. I don't think my immediate family will mind at all! It is more SIL's family are a little more traditional and don't know us well, but also it's about my daughter's comfort levels. She is really socially anxious and worries a lot about "everybody looking at me" as finds people looking at her generally uncomfortable. I'm sure nobody will! But it's more the idea that will happen which will make her uncomfortable, so she has to think she looks the part IYSWIM more than anything else.

How about pastel blue wide leg joggers -

https://www.peacocks.co.uk/4101505-blue-plain.html

and either a white or blue long sleeve top

A loose jumpsuit or separates might work

https://www.very.co.uk/new-look-915-girls-dark-burgundy-textured-jersey-wide-leg-trousers-dark-red/1601231618.prd#sku=sku29611171

www.johnlewis.comnull?s_share=jlappdroid

https://www.marksandspencer.com/pure-cotton-striped-jumpsuit-2-16-yrs-/p/clp60735285?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

Buy Pink Floral Short Sleeve Pleated Ruffle Jumpsuit (3-16yrs) from the Next UK online shop https://share.google/3TG2HuGJ1ypgh1fU2

We were in a similar position last September. My 10 year old wore a loose chambray jumpsuit.

maybe one of the pastel colours in these? Wide Leg Cotton Rich Joggers (2-16 Yrs) | M&S | M&S
lots of colour options on these too Girls Light Blue Fold Over Waistband Side Stripe Joggers | New Look
Girls Pink Seam Detail Wide Leg Joggers | New Look

Just let her wear her usual clothes. She is already going to be pushed far out of her comfort zone. I think keeping her outfit familiar is vitally important.

Babble and Goose joggers look fab. My fussy about sensory stuff niece has some.

Look at Sensory Smart too for uniform alternatives.

Buy Mint Green Plisse Jumpsuit (3-16yrs) from the Next UK online shop

Buy Lipsy Rose Pink Pleated 3D Corsage Occasion Jumpsuit (5-16yrs) from the Next UK online shop

Buy Angel & Rocket Blue Robyn Leopard Print Trousers from the Next UK online shop

Let her wear what she’s comfy in, she will have enough other stuff to contend with noise, people, unknown places, people looking at her, lights. The list is endless. Are you ND as well, if not it’s hard to explain? Is probably not even take her as it will be overwhelming .

I’m dreading something similar and I’m in my 50s.