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Back to work - or not???

7 replies

Ellen35 · 21/08/2021 11:20

Sorry for the long ramble, feeling indecisive and would appreciate some opinions/advice especially from fellow primary teachers and mums.
So my background is I'm 36, a primary teacher and currently on 2nd maternity. I've been teaching for 14 years and have been at my current school since 2012 - in Year 1 all those years. I took a year out from 2018-2019 when I had my son and am on maternity until January 2022 with my daughter. I'm married and also have a stepson and dog.
My dh runs his own business and it has seen quite a large growth during the last year. When we met he had 3 employees but now has 25+. He also works very long hours there himself. He usually leaves before 6 in the morning and is home after 6 in the evening. I don't mind this though as he is bringing home around 5000 every month and we've been able to pay off over 40,000 of our mortgage in the past 6 months. The next goal is to pay off as much of our mortgage as possible and move house. We currently live in a 4 bed detached so it's not particularly a bigger house we need but I would like to be closer to my parents. They're both in their 70s and my dad has a degenerative disease. Currently he can drive to get to us but possibly not for much longer and my mum won't drive here. She'd like to be able to get to us without relying on my dad. We're currently about 30 mins away from them so I know it's not too far but would like to be a bit closer. Would also like to move before dc1 starts school in sep 2023.
Job situation is that my contract is part time - 0.6 (changed from full time after 1st dc) I work mon-weds. I have a child minder that my son goes to 2 days a week, will increase to 3 from Jan and my daughter will go 1 day, my mum would look after other 2 days. She doesn't mind this but I do feel I'm putting on her a bit. Will have to drop both dc off at 7.30 to get to school and set up. My mum would give both breakfast and then take ds to childminder, look after dd all day and then pick up ds and give both tea. I would pick up about 5.30 and take home. It would be the same on a weds. Tues she would give both breakfast and then drop both off at childminders for the day. Alongside this, she will be looking after my dad.
So I've just been debating whether or not I'm going to go back. The reasons I'm doubting whether to are a)I'm moving into Y3 if I go back. When I went back after 1st dc I was in the same class I'd been in for years so it felt manageable. This time will involve a LOT more planning and getting my head around all the changes to curriculum which have taken place in the past year at my school. With 2 dc now and husband working as much as he does, I'm wondering if I can manage the workload as well as taking on the majority of tasks at home, all pick ups drop offs etc.
b) I feel like we could manage financially. Obviously I'd have to pay back my maternity half pay but that would be ok. Am I putting myself through lots of extra stress when I don't need to.
c) Would have more time with my daughter- although she would go to childcare 1 day with her brother so I could get things done and she can interact with others.
d) I think we'd have a happier home and I wouldn't feel resentful over doing everything at home. I'm worried about feeling like this.
The sacrifice would have to be not moving as quickly. In order to move next year we'd need me to secure a small mortgage. My dh probably can't get one with being self employed and poor credit rating from the past. 1st dc may have to move primary schools in the future if we move after he has started.
I'm sure noone is still reading this 🙈 but was just needing a bit of advice in deciding what to do - go back or not. What would you do?
Thanks in advance xx

OP posts:
Glampsite · 21/08/2021 18:29

As long as DH is happy to be the sole breadwinner and you don't foresee any issues with the business in the medium term, I would quit.

You're a teacher which is a profession in demand (so I am told, not sure whether this applies everywhere). So could go back relatively easily?

You could always sign up to do supply or my friend teaches here www.jamesbrindley.org.uk/ and can pretty much pick and choose her hours. Is there something like that where you are?

RedHelenB · 21/08/2021 22:16

Could you suck it up for awhile until you get your mortgage and move house?

QueenHofScotland · 25/08/2021 00:52

I would go back until you’ve moved house.

Assuming you could get a small mortgage of your own to cover the additional costs?

Marni83 · 27/08/2021 17:33

Don’t go back
Moire a teacher
When you need to - you just return

GentlyGentlyOhDear · 29/08/2021 08:20

I would go back to move house. Get your ducks in a row and move as quickly as possible and then look at moving and quit then if you still want to.
It might be that you have got through the worst of it by that point and decide to stay.
In the mea time can you get in gardener/cleaner/ironing support to help pick up the slack around the house?

sst1234 · 31/08/2021 14:45

There is the question of independence and staying in work for other reasons too. Are you happy to give up your career and financial independence?

Marni83 · 31/08/2021 16:54

@sst1234

There is the question of independence and staying in work for other reasons too. Are you happy to give up your career and financial independence?
With teaching you don’t give up your career

When the time is right, OP can return very easily

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