Shampoo/conditioner for, well, maturing hair

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I'm about to be 45 and it really shows in my hair: now a mixture of original thick curls, highlights, and invading coarse grey bits. If I wash it with, eg, a two-in-one (tried the Aussie one) it turns into a dense dessicated unbrushable mat.

I've been using some Kiehls stuff (tea tree shampoo and coconut conditioner) which works OK but costs a lot - and anyway aren't you supposed to rotate products?

Presumably there are somewhere out there shampoos specifically aimed at this sort of hair? Any suggestions?

Aveda Shampure shampoo and conditioner bink, smells good, works well
Is not super-cheap but lasts forever (buy a vat and give your dh a heart attack, they are the size of fire extinguishers but you decant)
The other product I find works well on a rotation basis, I am not sure can be bought in the UK...tis Klorane Cedrat (citron) shampoo. You could try John Bell and Croyden on Wigmore Street for that.

I second the Aveda. Buy the litre sizes for the best value - they last ages.

If you look on lookfantastic.com you can see the whole range, and the prices are quite good too.

Agree that Paul Mitchell products are good and have a wide range to suit all hair types, esp their conditioners/styling products- I like the Detangler conditioner. They also smell good and are not tested on animals. Though I would avoid their shampoos with sodium laureth sulfate in them as this is a chemical foaming agent which really dries out your hair. Dr Hauchka (and most natural/organic) are good and don't contain any SLS.