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Original poster

Husband can't cope .............................

13 replies

woodpops · 25/05/2004 14:35

Can anyone out there reassure me that this happens to them as well. We've got 2 little sprogletts and only 16 months between them. Weekends when dh isn't at work are a nightmare. If the kids dare play up, get a little grouchy (as they do so well) or just get over excitied dh goes off on one that 'he can't cope with this'. So I run round like a nutter trying to keep the kids happy to keep dh happy. Praying for Monday to come quickly. He only seems to want the kids when they're in good moods or entertaining. If they're in a bad mood, that's it dh goes to pieces!!!!!!

OP posts:
marthamoo · 25/05/2004 14:46

Hi woodpops, did you see this thread ?

You are definitely not alone! I didn't post on monkey's thread as she'd had so many good responses already. I can relate to a lot of it though - my dh seems to have such a short fuse with our two boys. I think he expects perfect behaviour from them (they are 7 and 2) and has seriously unrealistic expectations. I spend a lot more time around children than he does so I know that their behaviour is really pretty good! It infuriates me sometimes as he will lose his temper and start yelling 5 minutes after he gets in from work and I think "hang on a minute, I've had them ALL DAY and I've not shouted like that!"

I think you need to pick your moment, sit down with him and have a quiet chat - tell him how stressed out this is making you.

Original poster
woodpops · 25/05/2004 14:56

Hi Marthamoo.

My 2 are 1 and 2 and the youngest is at that frustrating stage where she's trying to communicate but can't so get frustrated with herself and 9 time out of 10 will cry out of frustration. Like you my kids aren't the worse by far. In fact the staff at nursery often comment that ds is the only child that always says please and thank you. Bless them they know haw to make you proud don't they?? Should however either of them be naughty dh comments that there's somthing wrong with them and 'other' kids don't do that. Little does he know. I could swing for dh at times. It's nice to know I'm not alone!!!!

OP posts:
pollingfold · 25/05/2004 15:00

My Dh is just like this, he managed only to able to deal with DS for only about 15 mins before he got bored frustrated or angry, or felt that DS was getting in the way of him doing stuff.

Make him look after them for a weekend to show him that they will have their good moments and the their bad. It wasn't until my DH did this for 3 days that he realised that its not that easy and you just have to cope and actually if you are calmer more relaxed so to will the kids.

To be honest DH still assumes at the w/e that if he has some errand to do that I will automatically look after DS, whilst I try and find a way of amusing DS at the same time as doing what I need to do.

Fio2 · 25/05/2004 15:02

tell me about it

BadHair · 25/05/2004 15:15

Yup, my dp is the same. He can only cope if they're quiet, and when I'm at work at the weekends I just know he plonks them in front of CBeebies all morning while he beggars about.
On the upside at least it's made him understand that being at home with the kids all day is not an easier option than working!

Original poster
woodpops · 25/05/2004 15:16

Tried it ............. was going away for 3 days. Thought it would be perfect bonding time for dh and kids. Until dh announced he was taking the kids to the mil for a break. So yet again he'd be doing bugger all and the mil would be running round after the kids like a headless chicken. I was so mad with him I cancelled my break, dh didn't bat an eyelid!!!!

OP posts:
Easy · 25/05/2004 15:19

Woodpops, why on earth did you cancel your break?

I know he wasn't going to assume full responsibility, but at least you'd have had a change.

Original poster
woodpops · 25/05/2004 15:23

The truth? .................. Didn't realise I was so afraid of flying until I booked the break. Kept having nightmares about crashing. Pathetic isn't it? Plus I was rather peeved with dh about the whole thing!!!

OP posts:
Easy · 25/05/2004 15:25

cooo, talk about cutting off your nose .... tho'

Original poster
woodpops · 25/05/2004 15:29

Didn't have the desired effect did it? watch this space. I will get a break and dh will get his bonding time!!

OP posts:
unicorn · 25/05/2004 15:35

sometimes those dh/p's have to be forced to bond!!
I know my dh would let me do everything if he could - coz I quote 'You do it so much better'(hahahaha).. Well I aint falling for that one....!! my big break comes next month - 4 days in Barcelona (my 40th) and he's looking after the kids!!!!!!:

unicorn · 25/05/2004 15:36

why is this in products thread?
Are you looking for an invention that will help dh cope - there isn't one!
Or maybe there is- it's called the wife/partner!!!

Original poster
woodpops · 25/05/2004 15:39

Humor me, I dimed out for a second. Sorry.

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