Shopping List for Second baby - 2 under 2 - Help please!

[tinyfeet]

Am due to have DD2 in a few weeks. DD1 is 20 months. I'm starting to panic, as I never felt like I could go out with DD1 and fear that I will have it worse with DD2 (and DD1). I don't know how you all do it, but I realize that it is necessary to get out of the house to maintain my sanity. I started a thread earlier that was mainly on double stroller/buggy board questions. What else do I need which will make life easier with 2 under 2? I already have on the list: sling or baby bjorn, double stroller or buggy board, playpen . . . Any advice in general on how to cope with 2 under 2 would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Not quite on track with what yu are saying but with regard to what people should buy this baby have a look at a website called Babies Wish World

It's like having a wedding list with someone but is for your bew baby.

Oh sorry, it didn't work.
try this

oh for Gods sake - I'm doing everything right.

The website is www.babieswishworld.co.uk

Thanks, Thomcat and Dinosaur. Will have a look at that site now. To top things off, I have a bad back, so I'm really in a bit of a panic.

Now have DS1 2 years and 4 months and DS2 6 months. How did I get through that first 6 months? Look at the june/july babies thread for the whole depressing story.

But really its easier in that you are more relaxed and you know it gets easier eventually. biggest piece of advice get as much help as you can - beg buy steal it. Your eldest will get jealous however great they are, it will pass. I got part time help to look after baby two days a week which enabled me to give my eldest two days just for him. That really worked for me.

Kaz33 - did you breastfeed your younger? I'm wondering how, even with help, you can devote any amount of real time to your eldest when you are breastfeeding (for DD1, it was every 2 hours)??

Kaz33 - just took a look at the june/july babies thread - see that you did bf both. Still don't know how to manage, but reckon I'll figure it out. Thanks again.

tinyfeet, I feel like I could have written your post. I now have dd of 23 months and ds of 3 months. I too struggled to get out of the house with dd and had the same worries but this time has been 100% better; I was out and about within the week and much the better for it. I ended up getting the mamas and papas duette chassis as I do a lot of walking and few car journeys (it's big and bulky and not for everyone but it suits me) and I am going out for a walk virtually every day now. When ds was 10 days old I was on my own for the first time with them in the morning and I was so worried about how I would ever get out of the house but I did! You just have to adapt your routine.

I too bf, every two hours or so and I was worried about how the hell I would be able to do it but it works out fine, dd reads or plays (she didn't used to be as good at playing for a short while by herself but is better since ds was born, a case of needs must, I think) and has become really interested in bf! She sometimes sits with a doll and tries to feed it! I have had times when I have had to move around the room to sort out dd whilst feeding ds but they have been few and far between. I have found that reading a book with dd whilst feeding is useful.

I have already managed 2 trips to Manchester city centre (about 30 miles away) and for this I've used my buggy for dd and the baby bjorn (bought 2nd hand of e-bay for £20) for ds. Admittedly, I was with dh but I felt that I could have managed by myself.

ds seems to regard dd as a source of wonder whilst dd sees him as something to look after and has already forgotten life before he came along, I think.

So, good luck and hope it goes ok.

If you haven't already got it, CBeebies is worth getting, or at least have a decent stock of videos in. Would second Kaz33's suggestion of getting some help in - I had some extra hands part-time until ds2 was 7 weeks and it made a huge difference: for ds1 to have one to one attention even if not from me helped so much. At a minimum get a cleaner/ironing lady for a short while. I got a cleaning company in once a fortnight for the first 4 months (OK I keep meaning to stop them, but haven't managed to yet!).

Other than the buggy/stroller thing there hasn't been much other new equipment needed really. We went for a buggy board, but ds1 was 25 months when ds2 arrived, and I'm an urbanite who likes her car. We did the "gift exchange". With hindsight I would have got the older one to give a blanket to the younger one as this is something he would have seen in use more frequently. The soft toy didn't really come into play until 3 months later by which time ds1 had forgotten he had bought it.

Have been reading this with interest. I'm 28 weeks with number 2 and DS will be 18/19 months when he/she arrives.

My main plan is to keep him at the childminders for 2 half days a week when I finish work (at Christmas, hooray!) right through my maternity leave and when the baby arrives for a few months. It'll only be for 5 hours a time but I reckon that might be the light at the end of the tunnel. Time out for both of us and as he loves it there I think he'll enjoy having somewhere to go where he doesn't have to mind the baby.

Can't say that it will solve everything but it should help. If you can afford it (we don't have family nearby who could offer help, maybe you do) it might be worth looking into.

I was quite precious with him when he was born (not disturbing him if he was sleeping, etc.) but D? will just have to come out with us to toddler groups, music groups, etc. and I think that will keep us busy. How we will get out of the door is another matter...

Also, I've bought a lot of stuff second hand for the new baby so that DS's things are his own. Another cot, a few new toys, and so on. Although a lot of his baby toys have been in hiding and hopefully forgotten about for months now - it helps that we're moving.

I figure it's a bit like expecting the first baby. I was amazed that women survived it when I was heavily pregnant and now I'm amazed that friends have vaguely normal lives with 2. I guess you just get on with it!

Totally agree - CBeebies is great and I have had my ironing done for 3 months at a cost of about £8 per week. This has given me more time to worry about bf/childcare. I read once on mumsnet to think that, if you used formula it could cost that much so look at it that you are paying for your ironing/cleaning to give you some help and time to breastfeed rather than paying for formula, IYKWIM (typing whilst feeding and not very articulate, I know!).

Please don't worry (like I did), I'm sure you'll be fine.

Haven't read all the posts but the best thing I got (and I had 2 under two as well) was a three wheeler double stroller. It was so easy to push around and my toddler enjoyed it much more than her single pram because I think she was higher up off the ground.
It is so easy to push that we even use it when we are only taking one out.

Tinyfeet I had two under two. Yes its extra week but very rewarding and its surprising how well you manage to cope. There is only 18 months between my eldest and I must admit I had a double buggy as opposed to a buggy board as I felt my oldest was two little for one, and she was pretty mature for her. I know that a lot of people suggest sling and buggy but I was happier to have them both strapped in and found it easier when shopping.

Just remember to not try and do everything is my advice. If the house is untidy then so be it. Find time to put your feet up occasionally and get them in a routine that suits both you and them, it can be done. If people offer help then take it but most of all dont expect to be wonderwoman, you wont have time for all those jobs but there are other more important things for you to worry about.

Good luck and take care. x

I found the new "Bumbo" seat very good for DD2, once dd2 had head control and was starting weaning. She could sit safely on the kitchen counter, or anywhere, eat, and watch all the proceedings at 360 degrees, and DD1 could dance and shout and run around without clonking into or tripping over DD2. Also they could interact more than in a bouncy chair or carseat, and did! and still do at 3 and 10 months.

Thanks for all the advice, especially Epigirl and 3girlsmum. I didn't say it in my original message, but I did suffer a bit from PND with DD1 and the fear of that happening again along with the panic of having 2 little ones is a bit paralyzing atm. I know that with DD1, it helped a lot to get fresh air - walking outside - but DD1 was born in the spring. Since DD2 will be born in the dead of winter, I'm not sure when that will be practical. Do you think it insane to believe that I could take a walk with both girls when DD2 is only 10 days old in winter - maybe just for a short walk? I imagine a lot of people would say that it's unwise and that I should wait until she is at least 6 weeks. Anyway, I'm going to do some shopping soon.

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My ds will be 18 months when new baby is born in April and I've been wondering how on earth I will cope. Some great advice here.

Bluecow, to sum up, it does seem like the best advice here is to get as much help as possible in the early days - either to hire help or to ask help from family and friends. Also, to get things to occupy the older child while you are tending to your newborn. Aside from that, and I'm sure you know as well as I from the first child, it is important to get out of the house, however you can, so for that the double buggy/buggy board is helpful. Thanks again for all the encouraging advice here. I will reread this thread after DD2 is born.

Stressyhead - DD2 was born on a Thursday evening. 2 days later we all went to Comet to look at new TVs, though I did wait in the car with her as electrical stores are a bit noisy for little ones My neighbour (in her 70s) was horrified at me being up and about - must be an older generation thing.