How can I improve an unsatisfying sex life with my husband?

[Frah]

I have started to realise my husband is actually really bad in bed. We have fairly regular sex, at least weekly, but he hasn’t given me an orgasm since a long time before our eldest child was born. They’re 11yo!

a friend of mine, also nearly 50, recently had a ONS with a much younger work colleague and described it as the best sex ever and I just felt jealous. Like insanely jealous and keep fantasising about good sex.

How do I get my husband to change? I have tried to get him to go down there but he says he doesn’t like it, tried going on top but he says it hurts so we end up either missionary or doggy every time. He won’t entertain a frank chat about sex and I’m feeling resentful. Any advice?

Hi Op Fantastic news nothing like a healthy sex life.

I know. A shame it took my friend getting her first post divorce shag to force me into a conversation. Husband and I have both settled for mediocre but frequent rather than earth moving. The thing that shocked me, was that when I mentioned my lack of oral, he pointed out I’d not given more than a token suck rather for over a decade either. We’ve never really discussed sex openly before, it’s been quite liberating for us both

Now you have got this far why not try a few oral only sessions from time to time? There is so much more than receiving an insertion.

I think you should try to bring toys into your sex life, which I've done with my husband and got him excited about. I literally just ordered another couples toy last night to help spice things up at home. You can either go to a local sex shop and ask for couples toys or if you're a bit lazy like me I just watched a live selling show on teasr where they show you all different toys and you can chat and ask them any questions abut it. It was super fun and I got a great deal on a We-Vibe couples set which looks very exciting!

This was such a great thread to read!
Well done for having the conversation, it's not easy at all, so I think you can both be very proud of yourselves for that!
Love that you wrote lists, and I hope you have a lot of fun times ahead ❤️