Feeling undesirable

[Holidayblues55]

So currently abroad in a hot country in a private villa, just me and my husband. We've been together for 30 years. Married with grown up kids. Obviously over years we've had our ups and downs sexually but last year or so has been good. Probably due to me being horny hitting perimenopause!
Anyway fast forward to now I've recently lost weight and back to what I was in my 20's. So has he. We've worked hard. Both 50 now. I had to buy new bikinis and other hol clothes as others too big. I don't want to sound conceited but I am happy with how I look and my bikinis are quite skimpy. I'm also sunbathing topless as no point covering up when no one else is looking! I think I'm attractive but now having doubts. I read on here all the time that most men can't get enough of their partners. I'm literally laid mostly naked next to him rubbing suncream on my boobs and he just doesn't notice. I've been in the pool with him and cuddled him and he doesn't push me away but doesn't exactly show any desire either. In my head I want him to grab my bum and cuddle me sexually....but he doesn't.
I'm starting to feel down. We've discussed this in the past and he always says he has no confidence to touch me like that. He does have major self esteem issues so that is true but I'm practically putting my body on a plate and it's like he's oblivious.
We have had sex whilst being here some evenings but I want more. Next week we'll be back at work...defo not nearly named in a private pool.
Am I expecting too much? Anyone else in a similar situation? I'm not expecting day time sex but would love it if he just showed any form of intimacy and that he fancied me.

Familiarity breeds contempt, so sometimes subtle signals don't do it. Put your hand down your pants and start masturbating. If that doesn't give him the hint then what will? And if he doesn't respond you can just get off.

Not being funny OP but he's seen your boobs for 30 years, the novelty has gone! When women say their OH's can't get enough it means they're young or they haven't been together long or their husband is a sex pest. Yours is none of those, he's just normal.

It sounds like your libido has gone up and his hasn't (or might be heading in the other direction) - but you also sound very focussed on yourself and you wants/needs and looks. Have you been telling him how great he looks - you want to hear it but are you telling him?

If that makes no difference then you need to talk to him about this, tell him how you feel and see if you can meet in the middle somewhere. He shouldn't need loads of confidence though just to give his wife of 30 years a compliment. No one wants to feel taken for granted even after 30 years.

@sneakysneakers "Not being funny OP but he's seen your boobs for 30 years, the novelty has gone!"

Maybe you're trying to make @Holidayblues55 feel better, but the novelty never goes - because it's not novelty. Now, alright, I can only speak for myself, and certainly not the OP's husband, but seeing my wife's naked breasts doesn't turn me on any less than it did the first time - because they're beautiful and sexy.

Thanks for the replies. If I put my hand down my pants he would piss himself with laughter then think I was crazy! That's not something we've ever done apart from aged 18. I would feel stupid tbh but like the fantasy of it.
I think the novelty may have worn off to a certain extent. I think he's oblivious. I guess to my libido is definitely up and his has not been insatiable since we were much younger so that makes sense too. I do tell him he looks good but he kind of gets embarrassed and tells me to shut up!
Guess more conversation is needed unless I jump on him....

Ha ha. Can you imagine a man doing that around the pool if he wasn’t getting it. 🤣

What about what he wants too?

it’s not like you aren’t getting any sex.