Husband disability-no sex.

[2026WhatNext]

Hi all,

As the title says my husband has a disability. He used to be crazy for sex, every day, twice a day if we could but since he was diagnosed and started medication he doesn't have the same sex drive and if we attempt sex he can't orgasm. We are both 40.
I don't know if it's peri menopause or losing weight (thanks monjaro) my sex drive has shot through the roof.
Anyone else here who has dealt with this?
Help.

He can't orgasm because of the disability or the medication?

My husband’s disability comes with a side order of significant brain damage. I’ve not been able to have a realistic discussion with him about sex. A few years ago now I actively sought out affairs (illicit encounters website,) and had a few casual meetings. I’ve ended up with a regular arrangement with a man in a similar situation who I knew locally who was on the same site. We both have distinct kinks and indulge one another. We are very close friends, but neither of us would leave our marriages. I would have preferred to be able to have a conversation with my husband about ethical non-monogamy, but it’s not possible. I may go to hell for it but I get to keep my sanity a bit longer.

You need to be a bit tough to do the casual thing. Be very selective.

The disability mainly but he won't talk to his doctors about it either. I think since he has lost his sex drive it just doesn't bother him.

You certainly won’t go to hell! You only have one life so needs to be fulfilling for both partners.

So low sex drive or no sex drive whatsoever. If he has a modicum of sex drive he can still be intimate with you. Can't he?
If he isn't willing to discuss the situation then he cannot be selfish enough to stop you from exploring your sexuality outside of the marriage. Although I know that some do put their foot down and then it's a matter of personal choice. End the relationship and move on or stay celibate for the rest of life.