Tips for coping when a new partner feels uncomfortably large

[BedroomChat]

Hi there, maybe not the most serious question ever raised here, and I have name changed obviously.

I am seeing a newish man, and honestly he's so much bigger than anyone else I have been with. I made him get a tape measure last night! It's the circumference mainly I think.

Anyway obviously we manage but it does hurt a bit sometimes and I'd like to relax a bit more. Does anyone have any useful non snidey tips? Thanks!

Lube is your friend until you get used to it naturally

Gently does it! Is he going in too soon and are you getting sufficient oral and enough time spent prior to entry? Should you ask him to slow down and be gentle? Some men go for over enthusiastic thrusting. Maybe ask him to ease in, communicate about the pace that works for you. Otherwise you will become sore.

You don’t mention your age group, but things become less moist as we age. And as PP suggests, have some lube to hand.

Lots of Foreplay that you like to make sure you're aroused and wet. And take it slow. Also you could go on top to control the depth.

Its like getting a new sofa through the front door. Take your time, be gentle and hope it doesn't knock over the Ming vase in the hallway.

Thanks for the comments although I do fear that the sofa and front door imagery may have irreparably damaged my ability to enjoy sex!!!

The issue for me is not depth itself but that he just becomes very wide in diameter about half way down his cock. While I enjoy the thrusting this is also where it hurts.

But yes I get it. No magic solutions. Work on reducing friction. Thanks!

The trouble with this analogy is that with the sofa, if it doesn't fit in the front door it's often worth trying the back door. In this case, I fear that way madness lies...

Well, under such unusual circumstances, I hope they have French doors fitted.

Hi - I've also recently started seeing someone with a cock that gets very thick. Tbh I've found no condoms easier (both freshly tested), and lots of foreplay (not exactly a hardship 😊). Play around with positions, I feel some mean I can open or angle my hips/pelvis better - so bog standard missionary wasn't so good, but propping my bum up to be more lined up works. Me on top and doggy also were both good.

Really good when it works 😁

Thank you. First, for those who like to talk about sofas it's normal to measure before you buy to ensure it fits!! Not so practical here I am afraid.

Thank you Paul (are you a man? idk). Yes with condoms we literally could not get one on him. It was sort of comical. It was a standard one I know they come larger. I think we are past that stage now though.

I do like missionary best but we will experiment. Thanks.

It's always handy to have a tape measure close by OP! How large did he measure up?

Men often think centimetres are inches!

sounds like your man is shaped like that ming vase

If you actually want to know then he was about 15.5 cm in length and (and this is I think the problem) also exactly 15.5cm around his cock.

I am not in the habit of taking measurements (although I could see that there might be some interesting data and correlation stats to be obtained) but we were semi jokingly trying to find what size of condom might fit. This involved pi.

I don't even know if this is particularly large or not. Maybe it's just me and I am insufficiently accommodating. I am not claiming loads of experience!

Fortunately it seems more robust than a ming vase but I am not sure it's the same shape...

I'm not a man 😁

Just went and looked at a tape measure (I'm at work but fortunately no one around!) - my FWB must be at least 20cm in circumference, possibly more. Not sure about a Ming vase, but I feel the 🍆 is actually pretty accurate 😁

I had this problem OP when I first met now DH. He is long as well as wide. The more I worried about it the worse it got. To the point he struggled to get it in at all.

I have no advice other than to relax and make sure you, and your bits, are fully in the mood before you start. Lubricant may help, as may alcohol.

You can get XL and XXL condoms BTW.

that's one thick member! wow, bj's must be a struggle 😅

Go on top until you get used to it, then you can control the depth and speed of entry and the rhythm of the act.
As others have said, get a good lube and take it easy.
Is he taking it easy with you? Or just trying to get as deep as he can as soon as possible?

It's narrower at the top so I can manage a fair bit. He's never getting deepthroated though 🤣

Always remember on that one, comfort comes first and it is not a competition to see how much you can take in. Think ice lolly!!!

Gosh, did you mean that to sound as fucking patronising as it does? Please don't tell me how to suck cock 😂

I think a lot of people on this forum forget that other people might have different preferences in their sex lives.

I meant it lightheartedly, hence the 3 explanation marks, apologies if it came over as patronising.

Thank you x

Sometimes comfort is not my priority 😂

it must have been a nice surprise when you first saw it....or shock!

I’m larger than average and this always seems to be the winning way