Struggling to relax sexually with a new partner after passive ex

[ardrain]

In my last relationship I always took the lead and usually was up on top for long periods, to orgasm i basically fantasise scenarios in my head to get there. My previous partner was quite passive, didn’t instigate sex, and struggled with rhythm on top or behind so I have become used to being the leader and also have amazing leg strength now tbh😂 but I don’t think I’m naturally dominant. My imaginary fantasies were always of someone dominating me

Last partner was good at oral, this took quite a long time to get right, but he wouldn’t ever allow me to give him oral. My waning attraction to him was in part why we ended a while ago.

I have been seeing a guy a little while and we have had sex a number of times. In context we became slowly emotionally involved through a friendship a number of months before we even kissed, so the sexual tension by the time we finally got together was an intense slow build but I can’t find the release. We cannot keep our hands off each other. I find him very attractive almost overwhelmingly so. Sex is very passionate and intense with a lot of kissing and I am very turned on.

New partner is less passive and more dominant, which I like but I am all over the place. I struggle to stay in the moment because I had become so used to fantasising. I keep trying to take control to go on top but then he’s trying to take control of me. When he goes down on me I just can’t get over the edge. It’s not his technique. I feel like I’m falling in love with him/each other so during sex all my feelings and emotions are completely overwhelming me.

He keeps asking me what I like and to show him, and I feel like I just I don’t know. He’s so patient and just keeps trying new things and it’s really fun. But I am now in my own head that he’s worried he’s the issue, and I don’t want him to think that. I’ve explained it’s me and we can just keep trying, then I think if I confess my feelings for him maybe this would help but makes me more tense at the idea of doing that. I cannot relax

I have read online to take it back to basics and just lie together and not kiss, not have PIV and explore and try to relax. Is this the best plan?

1, Tell him you want to go on top, tell him to relax and watch. You can then sit on his cock and masturbate for him and orgasm for him. This should break any inhibitions.
2, Ask him to spoon and slow fuck from behind. This gives you the opportunity to relax into it and will help him get rhythm, if you put your hand on his hip and control it. Also gives you an opportunity to touch yourself.
Either way you will need to get out of your mind, if these thoughts continue they may become a mental block. Remember sex is a two way street. You want your turn at being dominant too.

I keep trying to take control to go on top but then he’s trying to take control of me.

You are in a new scenario, give it time you are not going to adjust to the new straight away. Keep talking about what you both like to do. I am sure you will find common ground maybe buy a book or watch some naughty films together.😄

Or to simplify it, say tonight l am the one doing the driving. Just get in the passenger seat.