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Confused about two things

7 replies

KensingtonGardens · 15/06/2026 22:46

Things in the bedroom went slightly strangely last weekend and I’m still thinking about it.
I’m a man, and I only see my partner (woman) in the weekends.
On Friday night we had sex, PIV only and I came but she didn’t, which is normal for her. We had it again on Saturday morning, she came from my fingering her, then we had PIV and I came.
On Saturday night she said she didn’t want sex because she was tired and under the weather, so we didn’t do anything other than cuddle.
Then in the middle of the night when I was asleep she got me horny by playing with me, then when I was half awake rode me but she was unable to cum. So we then had PIV in missionary, and although I came she didn’t. I enjoyed the sex, but afterwards have been thinking about the consent side of it. Would I have had sex with her while she was asleep? I doubt it.
In the morning she came by my fingering her, and we then had PIV and I came.
Another thing is that on Friday night we’d been talking about previous sex lives, and I’d told her about my earlier partner who had told me she’d been repelled by her husband wanking next to her in bed during the night although she would have been happy to relieve him by having sex.
My partner said to me that an option on Saturday night would have been for her to have wanked herself next to me, but that if I’d woken up and wanted to help her out by fingering or have had PIV she would have said no. I’m confused about that too.

OP posts:
OfcourseitsaNC · 16/06/2026 06:48

My response to both your confusions are talk to her for answers you agree on, not the internet.

CannotGetEnough · 16/06/2026 12:16

How long have you been together?
You need to have a chat about consent/last weekend by the sound of it.

Joe7t8 · 16/06/2026 12:29

I think there’s always a degree of implied consent when you’re in a relationship, and couples tend to know where the line is. I’m more than happy for my wife to come up behind me and give my bum a squeeze or something like that, and she knows this. Likewise, being woken up for middle-of-the-night sex is amazing and is something we both did to each other quite regularly in the first 2-3 years of our relationship.

Presumably, you had the option to say no if you didn’t want her riding you while half asleep?

CannotGetEnough · 16/06/2026 12:40

Yeah same. Will be interesting to know how long they've been together.

I think it's getting more difficult for newbies. There was an article about MAFS show and one of the women said she had consented to sex but had not consented for him to ejaculate inside her.

Winterbolts · 16/06/2026 13:18

The reality of having sex with her while she’s asleep it’s not really a thing.
You just need to ask her hey if I wake up horny, can I slip it in you? Would it bother you if I woke you up that way?
She answers you and then you follow that rule

Now I thought that it was pretty cool when She woke you up. Got you horny rode you and you were able to have sex.

As for her wanting to pleasure herself
Tell her you think it’s very hot that she wants to do that
And if you can watch her sometime
And if you get horny, obviously ask her if you can mutually masturbate with her.

The the underlying expectation for her to have an orgasm while you’re having PIV should be removed from your brain
Obviously, she can get off with your fingers
Does she like oral?
If she cannot get off/orgasm while getting fucked by you, you will have to figure out better ways to get her off

everybody’s body is different some days for women. They will come like a rock and when you’re fucking them other days, forget about it.

You need to ask her if she’s comfortable with sex toys.
Sex toys are a game changer

And it’s nothing to be scared of as a man

also, you describe your only way of completing the act as ejaculating in her vagina
Change it up
Like I said earlier, tell her you wanna watch her play with herself if you want to join in
Blow your nut all over her as she comes
Tell her that’s a fantasy of yours

If she’s repulsed by it
You’ve got problems
You’re the man and you’re looking to help her have fun too

NotGaleHawthorne · 16/06/2026 14:52

I can't believe that anyone can have sex with someone who is asleep without waking them. But my DW says we did it a couple of times when we were students. She would be on top. Who knows? Not me.

Winterbolts · 16/06/2026 23:10

NotGaleHawthorne · 16/06/2026 14:52

I can't believe that anyone can have sex with someone who is asleep without waking them. But my DW says we did it a couple of times when we were students. She would be on top. Who knows? Not me.

My lovely wife has given full permission to start the festivities while sleeping says it’s hot 🥵
so I oblige her monthly .
Sometimes she wakes and smiles , moans and enjoys herself , other times , she lightly acknowledges and goes back to bed .
100% consensual no bullshit .

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