Next move to keep a new spark

[CestLaVieYouSee]

Evening all, for reference (fwiw) im M 35 my partner is F (44). We have been together 10 years, have 3 kids, no relationship problems.

Our sex life has always been very vanilla and missionary once or twice a week, so no problems just all very basic, especially when there is a whole world out there!

I took my partner out for a surprise child free evening a few months ago our first for more than 6 years! That evening she told me how turned on she was, and we went on to have some of our best ever sex that evening and the weeks after, I think that has stirred something inside her as she has been way more sexual since.

The last few weeks she keeps talking about having sex that evening, and that is very unusual but im not complaining! And past week we were joking around and I said there are sex clubs out there, she initially laughed it off, but then asked more about, where, what happens, maybe we should visit one?! Plus talked about sexual things we haven’t ever done!

Yesterday she was working away, but messaged me a picture of her 😸 and asked me to please her very well when she was home! Never ever been like this or have I even seen that she would be like this, how wrong I was.

Something has clearly awoken in her, and I don’t want to loose it as we only live once and this maybe our only opportunity to really take this by the horns and change our relationship for the better.

I’m just wondering what MN’s would say for advice on how to keep this going and not muck it up!

Thanks all, hope you have a great weekend.

Perimenopause! Her body is playing all kinds of tricks on her to get her pregnant. Enjoy it, be led by her, keep communicating with her and keep complimenting her. Enjoy it ❤️

Ah that makes sense! She has been talking a lot about that recently, changing her diet ect due to it. Does this mean this is just a period in time and the ‘desire and urge’ will recede in time?

Not necessarily! I know women who are in their 60s, 70s and 80s and still having sex ☺️

Hi @CestLaVieYouSee . My suggestion is, have fun, love each other, but be careful not to push over the edge.. If you are otherwise fairly vanilla (and happily so), something irreversible like a sex club could easily do damage you cannot ever take back. Just enjoy this phase, but don't be hasty with the "new things".

Great advice, I will certainly bear this in mind.

Agree with this. There’s a huge difference between talking about this stuff and actually doing it. Keep it as a fantasy you can wheel out to whip her into a frenzy, but you don’t need to cross that line and actually do it.

Sounds like the thing that kicked it all off was a night out, just the two of you, so continue to do that. Date her, let her remember who she is when she’s not mum or housewife or whatever she does for work. But just her. Giving her the opportunity to relax around you is the sexiest thing you can do for her.