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Sex Toys with a new partner

8 replies

Scott1eh · 12/06/2026 07:28

Hello Lovely People. This is a genuine post, and yes, it really is for a friend. In absolutely no way is this being judgemental, it is a post of curiosity and would welcome feedback from men and women.

Background: My mate is 55, been divorced for 8 years and single throughout. He is generally chilled and very laid back. He is now dating an old school friend and he has known her pretty much all his life as a friend, knows all about her husbands and ex's. He is smitten.

Her: Has a very high sex drive, c2-3 times per day need. She is also into him.

I'm thrilled for him. So... today its his birthday, and they are off to Amsterdam for what will be in effect a dirty, fun filled weekend. She has been before with other partners.

She has given him what I can only describe as a fairly hefty bag of female sex toys - the works, vibrators, dildos, beads, butt plugs etc... Which has been collected over the years. She has asked him to carry it in his luggage.

Now the question: I was talking with my partner about this, and I said from my point of view if that were me - we seemed to be on the same page. I would be thinking about who and how she used some of these toys with other partners and would make me feel uneasy - probably from a jealous standpoint, rather than wow she is doing this for me. My partner said the same sort of thing about underwear.

So.... Im happy for him, although he said he felt a little intimidated but was looking forward to exploring with them.

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
topcat2014 · 12/06/2026 07:42

I'd be more worried about being the one carrying them through customs. Imagine what could go wrong..

Oldtadger · 12/06/2026 08:52

I'd be more worried that she feels she needs to take so many/all of them for a few days away. Surely a couple (of new purchases) would be sufficient.

I'd have similar thoughts about who she previously used them with. I know my some of my wife's have been places I wouldn't want to share!

I do remember back in the early 1980s with no access to sex shops or the internet I ordered a very basic vibrator from an advert in the back of "dirty-mag". It took months to arrive and by that time I had split from my GF. It was still in the packet so I gave it to my next GF. She was delighted and, I suspect, wore it out very quickly - we were LDR.

Cuckooahcoo · 12/06/2026 10:53

Honest answer, having been in the position of owning my own toy collection, moving into a new relationship with someone who also had a collection.

I think anything insertable is not interchangeable. I have some glass ones, and even if I had used them on someone else buy new. However, if the toys, as in this case, belong to her, then I would not have an issue with it

I suppose the issue is that good toys are very expensive, so if you're only dating and want to use them, maybe you have to accept that they are cleaned in between?

DixonD · 12/06/2026 12:33

I agree with you OP - it wouldn’t be for me.

BlueStrips · 12/06/2026 13:45

Sometimes it feels like men pray for women who love sex and want it as much as they do and then when they finally come across her they clam up and talk themselves out of the connection. She’s obviously an experienced woman who takes her pleasure seriously and knows what she wants. He’s smitten and she’s happy - I don’t see what the issue is?

PaulRevere · 12/06/2026 21:32

Wouldn't care. Whether I was the man or woman in this scenario. My FWB has a few toys - I know for sure he's used them on other people, he is also capable of cleaning them.

NinaOakley · 13/06/2026 00:00

I think of my toys that are used on me as mine-and if I choose to share them/how I react to them with someone I expect them to be honoured. Things I like using on other people are theirs, I might well have bought them as a gift. I would not expect them to be kept in my collection to be taken forward into a new relationship. (I’m middle aged and female.)

Wherearemymarbles · 13/06/2026 00:42

Ah, so its all about her
Wonder how she’s react if he gave her a bag of sex toys to be used on him
though i guess butt plugs are dual purpose

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