Frustrated - sex drive in overdrive

[StuckInThisPlace]

Here's another woman in her early 40's who is just so sexually frustrated. As much as I've always enjoyed sex, I've always been able to take it or leave and go without for long periods of being single. But now something has changed (hormones!) and I feel like I'm going CRAZY!

On the one hand it's incredible to experience such a sex drive and really strong, wonderful orgasms (on my own), it's like my body is alive in a completely different way. But I'm just craving a man's touch more than ever.

I'm a lone parent so not a lot of options for meeting someone and frankly I have too much on my plate to pursue a relationship. As someone who has never been in to casual sex I am even starting to consider finding a FWB, but I need the intimacy and connection so not sure that would work... Not sure what advice I am looking for here really! Does this pass?!

Exactly the same situation as you but I’m 35. Was always told by women in their 40s that their sex drives go into overdrive so although enjoyable it’s bloody torture 😅 I’m sure it must pass with the menopause but then again there are women in their 60s and 70s with active sex lives so maybe it doesn’t?! I am keeping this to myself for the moment though as a no commitment fwb situation wouldn’t work for me. Not sure what the solution is I’m afraid!

Same here although unfortunately I have a husband who couldn’t care less.

@BlueStrips I get it, I am very dubious about FWB as well. It's not my style at all, I've always preferred committed relationships. Just seems such a shame to just wish away what seems to be my sexual peak!

@User3353821614 I'm really sorry to hear that... Has he always been disinterested in sex or is it more recent?

I always thought this was usually a man's issue as so many women lose their libido as they get older. Or maybe that was just my experience with women. It always meant I had little to no sex life with partners. Now 40 and still yearning!

very similar position- I’m a single mum of two and so the reality of finding and building up a long term relationship is slim. I know you said fwb is not your style (neither has it been mine historically) but is it worth giving it a go? I’m starting to think that’s my only option

I have known women in their 40's - late 70's and all have had healthy sexual appetites. I've also known women in the same age range that aren't bothered about sex. My advice is be more creative whilst in this phase of your life and drop the programmed and conditioned narrative around women and sex.

I'm climbing the walls currently (something about spring and summer really ramps my drive up) but DW seems to stay irregular in her desires from one year to the next (have to make the best of it when they kick in!) - makes for a frustrating time of it but on the positive I have a lot of energy available for keeping in shape😅

As other posters have said, I don't think there are any fixed rules about what any of us should and shouldn't feel and there's nothing wrong with talking about it to bounce ideas and think about possible solutions (I do agree though that if I was single I don't think I could do FWB, need a connection there).

I don't think there is anything wrong with a FWB. If anything it serves it's purpose perfectly if you're not looking for a relationship, haven't got the time, or have other responsibilities. Obviously, always be careful of whom you choose, but where's the harm in trying it.

I'm all for experimentation and enjoying the full range of sexual experiences, but I wonder if you might be doing yourself a disservice on FWB being your only option? You deserve to find someone that can help scratch the itch without that leaving you feel somehow short-changed.

i think this is just sadly another stereotypical misconception about men really.
im mid 50’s and my sex drive is probably on the decline abit now - im currently seeing a woman ( also mid 50s and post menopause), who’s sexual appetite is absolutely rampant and is killing me !

The trouble with having a FWB…you can fall for them. Then what?

"Climbing the walls" is a great description!

I’m 54 now but my sex drive went crazy at 45. My periods had stopped abruptly just a few months earlier. Although the craziness lasted a good couple of years, it did calm down but my sex drive has remained very healthy!!! Higher than before. I think it’s probably down to an individual response to testosterone (and levels) in women, once they hit the menopause years.

FWB wouldn’t do it for me either. I need to really like someone and feel a connection.

I saw a car the other day with a FWB registration - made me laugh 😆 🚙 🚘

It’s the sun 🌞 that ramps up your drive. Increases vitamin D production from sunlight which, in turn, increases testosterone (a derivative of vitamin D), hence the increased sex drive (in men and women).

I think you can find a balance between a so called FWB and a special friendship which has care and passion thrown in. Possibly 2 such friendships can be better than one, as long as everyone is fully aware what the score is.

Friends and lovers

I’m old school, l love the term “lovers”, it just sounds more passionate than FWB.