Any tips for reaching orgasm during sex in a long marriage?

[NoKnit]

Ok so I guess the title says it all really. I'm being a bit brave and posting it here.

I've been with my husband for 20 years and whilst sex has gotten a bit less since having kids it's still ok. I can't complain that much.

But I would like to be able to orgasm during sex and I'm wondering if there is anything we/I can do to help matters.

I have had orgasms during sex. The summary is as follows:

• With my husband on three occasions without any further stimulation these were all in our first year together I think when we were constantly at it. About 2/3 years ago I did also come during sex whilst he was also using his finger for more stimulation
• With a bloke I was seeing briefly before I met husband also I came during sex 3 oj three occasions (note this man absolutely loved giving oral and me being happy to receive possibly relaxed me a bit)
• With my ex boyfriend before that I used to orgasm during sex pretty much every time we did it. I don't know why but I do remember I always went on top and maybe this was why.
• also orgasmed during sex odd occasions with men much more before this

So basically my body and mind is capable of it. I get turned on during sex and maybe if my husband lasted a bit longer perhaps I could orgasm. He always make sure I do orgasm though even if he hasn't lasted long, sadly more with fingers than oral these days. So not like he isn't considerate.

But I do sometimes think it would be nice and satisfying to orgasm during sex just frustrating it takes me so long (most of the time when I masturbate also takes ages is it an age/peri/menopause thing)

I'd love to hear any tips or advice for anyone, I don't think this is a big ask is it?

Get back on top! Always works for me if it’s taking longer for me to get there than normal.

You don't say how old you are but you could be getting reduced sensation due to falling oestrogen levels which will affect your ability to orgasm (more so if you have issues anyway which it sounds like you do).

Modified missionary with wife having her legs more closed together works brilliantly for us, also at risk of mentioning something v obvious, starting penetration when you're already v close to orgasm helps too.

If I masturbate with a vibrator before, or if DH gives me a few orgasms during foreplay I will orgasm quick during penetration nearly every time.

Im the same now, takes me forever to orgasm infact i rarely do reach orgasm now. Not sure if its due to my age and falling oestrogen as a pp mentioned as I have also noticed my arousal levels, sexual response and libido is definitely not what it was. im late 40s.
Im in a fairly new relationship of around 10 months. with my previous partner who I was with for many years I would orgasm through penetrative sex around 99% of the time but he did have a larger penis particularly girth than my current partner so im wondering if that is also a factor.
Although sex is nice with my current partner I do find it quite disappointing that I don't orgasm. I have never been able to orgasm through oral sex with any partner no idea why it but ive never found the sensation of it enough and I get bored.
I miss my orgasmic days too op.

on top is the only way I ever orgasm during PIV, and it’s the friction, rubbing that does it. I’ve never had an orgasm without that friction. A small bullet vibe to be used during sex would help, as like me it sounds like you orgasm by stimulation to the clit (like most women really).

It is all in the mind, you do not have to be tense.
Clitoral stimulation would help as well as plenty of foreplay.
Have you discussed the situation with your husband and does you husband orgasm?
Can you spend some time away from your home without children. A different bed may help.
Good luck OP

Another one struggling with lack of orgasms postmenopause 😥a clit sucker toy is the most reliable thing I have found. I really miss the arousal/ desire/ orgasms of my younger years.

How do you get on with him behind you? His penis then rubs more to the front of your vagina iyswim. It can be much more vigorous. I enjoy that (I am 55) but some women don't as they get older..