Men stopping watching porn

[lauraUK1000]

My husband has been watching porn since his teens but it has never been a problem between us at all as I actually don't mind, don't have a problem with porn generally and watch it myself now and again.

We have talked about it a few times and so I know he has been watching it most days for a long time, and it usually leads to him masturbating, even though I don't catch him in the act.

He's recently said that he knows and feels like he's been watching porn a long time now and would really like to reduce this a lot and ideally stop watching altogether now. It sounds easy to just stop by obviously not sitting at his PC and watching it but I'm not sure how he is actually going to manage this.

Have any other husbands or male partners chosen to give up porn? Wives, would you support you husband to stop watching porn or is it not a big deal for you?

Not a big deal for me but my partner isn't watching it everyday. Think if he was i would have an issue with it. We like to occasionally watch it together as a way of spicing things up in the bedroom. Sounds like your husband may have a bit if an addiction thou and could be quite hard for him to stop?

Firstly, based on what you've said, this is no more addiction than starting every day with a mug of tea, then drinking 6 or 7 mugs throughout the day, and doing so for 30yrs. (I am not a tea adict. Honest! I can handle it!!!)
Breaking long standing habits can be really difficult - just ask anyone who wants to lose weight but keeps snacking and buying biscuits.

Have you discussed why he wants to stop? Is it possible he is starting to feel shame around his arousal patterns?
It might be worth discussing counselling with him - getting help reframing his thoughts - and a little external accountability can be very powerful. (Many people find it easier to go to the gym when they pay for a personal trainer.) If he does choose to talk to a psychotherapist, I'd certainly suggest looking for one who advertises as sex positive.

I've never objected to partners watching porn ... or drinking tea ... as long as it's Fair Trade tea and they don't leave their old teabags around the house.

Lol, this is a interesting way to put it, I think he has started thinking he drinks too many cups of tea, every day!

I have asked him and he said that he has been watching porn since his teens, so over 15 years, and to start with it was now and again, but over time this increased and became almost everyday. He's been open that watching porn almost always ends up with him needing to masturbate, one leads to the other and it has become a habit that he thinks he should do less.

My partner stopped watching porn when they changed the rules recently - he felt too grubby having to put his details into the internet to access it.

Im quite happy about it. He still masturbates but says he thinks about me instead - who wouldn't be pleased about that?

I don't really like porn. The ethics, the impact on your brain, the desensitising nature of it, the habit. The way it can become a distraction from your actual sex life. Im willing to tolerate a partner using it as long as they are watching something I don't find objectionable, and as long as it is not impacting real sex in a negative way, but I would prefer someone who rarely or never uses it.

Have any other husbands or male partners chosen to give up porn?

Took a conscious decision to significantly reduce it. A combination of watching the Netflix doc on porn hub , reading good arguments against it on here and then only trying to use content behind a paywall.

I also thought the prevalence of step mum and step sibling porn was getting grimmer and grimmer and the facial id thing (but that became easy to bypass)

I had a dabble with Audio porn from a few recommendations on here and a bit of erotic fiction which was good for ideas and improving ones sex lifestyle but necessarily get over the edge.

Think it won’t do him any harm . One way to help him is if he’ll let you block the content on his phone so it reduces his access. A bit teen boy stuff but it did work.

Did you explore the chastity approach you posted about previously? When this is done poen is off the table !

Have you thought about changing things up a little?

Watching porn can be really positive at times (the more you watch sex, read about sex, think about sex makes you want it more) but also really negative (can prevent you getting stuff done in life, can cause adverse physical effects, can drain you and you can choose porn and masturbation over being with your partner..)

I think for many it's a special and secret place. There can be guilt attached to it, and sometimes there just isn't.

It can be taboo and it's tough when there is a mis match of sex drive in a relationship or marriage.

If your partner is watching porn and then masturbating - then there is a seeking of relief. (I find that if I really need to concentrate on a work or home task then if I orgasm I can focus incredibly well afterwards..)

Have you thought about asking him to open up to you about when that relief need to happen? It's a big ask for many because it makes you really vulnerable with a fear of rejection....

Maybe you could give him hand relief, or talk dirty to him, or let him see your body whilst he masturbates?

That would take it away from him being on his own, and you wondering about it and instead brings you together where you both help each other out.

It could be achieved with sexting, or a teasing picture, or just listening in on the phone.

I understand that this isn't for everyone. But in this world of busy lives where we are all on different schedules and timings - it could be something that brings you closer together sexually...

Stopped watching porn couple of years ago and not looked back since. Plenty of positive impacts for me - less distracted, more focus on partner and enhanced performance which is a bonus for those of us in mid 40s and beyond.

(Ethical) porn in some situations can spice things up for a couple but it often ends up being addictive and getting in way of healthy sex life.

Same for my husband, he's been watching porn regularly since his teens and started to see information about the potential negative sides of porn, mentally and sexually. Recently he was worried using his details and ID to register for porn sites with the new rules so it just became harder for him to watch also.

While I would not try to stop him watching porn, I am happy he is not watching it now or watching a very minimal amount. He is mid 30's now and already had been working on masturbating less as this and porn had become almost an addition for him, likely like many men of this age group.

Is porn really a problem? Surely its a healthy? What could be the negatives?

He says he has become somewhat desensitized to it and while it used to get him really aroused and excited, now it doesn't turn him on as much.

Have any other husbands or male partners chosen to give up porn?

Almost the Opposite here, my newish female partner has a higher sex drive than me and we don’t live close together so she is the one sending me porn clips for us to watch together, so probably watching a more and I’m not 100% sure how I’m feeling about it right now ,

We are quite the opposite and we both actually like to watch porn often and it is no secret between us. It gives us ideas and seems to keep both our sex drives high so I don't see it as a bad thing. I probably watch more than him as I work from home most of the time. If my husband didn't want to watch porn then I obviously would not have an issue with that either.