How do I address my partner's cuckold fantasy without pressure? I want it as a fantasy, not as a reality.

[ThatAquaRobin]

I've been with my partner for 8 months and generally sex is getting better and better.
He likes a bit of kink, smacking, me hitting him with a belt, that type of thing. Also rimming, a little bit of anal play, just fingers at the moment.
One of the things I love about him is how he is so straight and respectable, but can switch to absolute filth when in bed
BUT there is one thing I don't know how to address. Sometimes he will whisper things to me during sex about cuckold fantasies. Like him wanting to watch me with another man,while he gets off on it.
Now while I'm fine with the fantasy and with the dirty talk, and also would watch this type of thing on screen. I absolutely don't want to have sex with another man.
I have said to him early on that I only want him, so he knows this, but again last night he whispered the same things during sex. To be fair there sex was great.
I guess I just want hints on how I should again emphasise with him that this is 'just a fantasy' right?
I sort of want the reassurance that he's happy with our sex life 'as is' and that I'm not suddenly going to get dumped for someone who will do all this.
In other respects all is good. We've met each others kids, been on holiday loads, that type of thing.
I'm.50. He is 53. Both were in long marriages before that ended.

Be Blunt . Tell him in a very clear moment about what you are thinking .
And you are invested in this relationship as is he .
Ask if this is a deal breaker for him ? This is
in person conversation and do it while casually having a meal so there is no excuse to get up and leave in the moment unless he pitches a fit .
Open conversations like this will set the tone

Thankyou @Winterbolts
Anyone else?

Yeah you need to be up front with him and tell him that although you might be ok with exploring the hypothetical fantasy, that you would never consider this in real life.

Perhaps you could say that you like knowing what filthy thoughts he has during sex and that you would be more comfortable leaning into the dirty talk of his cuckold fantasy, if you felt reassured that he wasn't ever going to push for it to become a reality because that would be a hard limit for you.

This is a new relationship. I would be very concerned about him wanting to push boundaries and trying to coerce you over time to have sex with another man. If that’s the case, it’s easier to walk away now, than 2 years down the line.

I've got no concerns about him pushing boundaries. But you're right I do need to clarify things. He's the gentlest kindest man I've ever dated, but just has this naughty side to him. He's always asked at every stage before we try something. And to be fair it's very light kink. Whenever I've asked before, he tends to get embarrassed when I bring it up when we're not 'in the throes' so to speak

I would video chat with someone and let him watch from behind the laptop. You can decide what you show, what you do and what you talk about and he can see you engaging with another man in a sexy way.

Be firm that it will remain his fantasy. It could be you give him an inch and he’ll take a mile.

It sounds like hes really gentle with you and is receptive to your wishes, why dont you just have a conversation after you have sex asking about your relationship dynamics and where he thinks it should be.
Sounds like you have a good sex life with varied sex interests so why spoil it i would just ask him.
My DP is quite open minded and we enjoy a great sex life, we had talked about a third person before so its better to be open and talk about these things

I would be tempted to show him your original post. You wrote it so well. It was clear on your boundaries but also clear about how much you enjoy sex with your partner and the affection you have for him. Maybe doing that can open up the conversation - explore ways of indulging this part of his sexuality without crossing your boundaries. I suspect your partner has a submissive side. There is lots you can do together to explore that without directly involving others! Good luck!

I imagine he's still in fantasy mode when he says this, to help him cum.
If he wanted to make it reality, wouldn't he raise the subject, for example during the day time.

Pair of you sound like your having a blast
just tell him
may well be testing the waters so best you clear it up now

Get a fucking grip. He wants ti USE you for his own sexual gratification. He doesn't respect you if he's trying to pressure you. Dump him now!

Er no. I won't.

I would have thought that a good time to address this was during a post-coital snuggle when I find many truths are easiest to discuss. You must make it clear that it must remain nothing more than a fantasy that you are happy to entertain as such in the bedroom just between the two of you, but there will never be a chance of making it a reality.

Tell him it's not something you will do then, if you are into it, develop a fantasy with him about how you cuckolded him in the past while you have sex.

We both enjoy it as a fantasy and have roleplayed scenarios. Not sure either of us could go through with it in real life but never say never. Maybe if rhe right timing and person came along..

We are exactly the same in that it is a really strong fantasy for us to watch each other have sex with someone else, but something that we probably wouldn't ever do for real.

The roleplay side of things is augmented with sex toys. She enjoys watching me from behind while I thrust into a fleshlight, and I enjoy watching her ride a realistic dildo.