So I am 41 with two primary aged kids. Breastfeeding both of them killed my previously high libido stone dead. Or so I thought. Turns out it was merely out for the count, and now about 2 years after weaning my youngest it has surged back to life. What is odd is I have always crushed on men my own age or older (Stanley Tucci an enduring crush!), and now, all of a sudden, it's men in their mid-to-late twenties/early thirties.
This feels horribly cliche - it's my hormones, right?
Side bar, while I pushed through on the sex front with partner, it was a real issue between us as our high drives had been a major plank of what kept our relationship going, so when mine fell off a cliff he had a very hard time of it. I of course thought he was a dickhead for wanting it with me when I didn't want it (along with other issues of incompatible approaches post-parenthood driving a wedge between us that we normally would have healed with sex). So our relationship has been very difficult for me this last decade, when I could really have done with us feeling close. He's very pleased the libido is back, incidentally, so that's something positive I suppose.
Me? I'm slightly angry! I mean why now, when I'm older and pretty much invisible to men, is my body deciding it's a great time to fancy loads of basically boys? Seems pretty useless and inconvenient!
Fellow 40+s - is this normal and when will it stop? And if it does, will it be another cliff-edge plunge like the breastfeeding years? Or will my drive peter out to something manageable for me but still useful to my partner? Just want to prepare as the rollercoaster ups and downs so far have taken me by surprise and I have not always recognised them for what they were (am far more educated about hormones now than I was in my late 20s/early 30s!)