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Sex drive back with a vengeance after marriage break down

6 replies

needagoodnightsleep1 · 12/05/2026 19:25

So just as the title says- my sex drive is back with a vengeance. Separated from exh nearly two years ago. For the last 3/4 years of marriage my sex drive completely disappeared. I thought it was just an age thing I’m now 46. He was highly abusive physically and emotionally and at times sexually!! Pestering me for sex constantly and kicked off when i didn't want to. I gave in too many times to sex i didn't really want just to keep the peace . I always thought my age contributed to my lack of sex drive. Ive remained single since the split and taking time to process and heal after whats happened.
The last 6 months or so my sex drive has re woken especially around ovulation. Its so distracting at times it’s all i can think about. All those years i thought it was down to perimenopause when it had nothing to do with it! It was just the abusive bastard i was married too. Not really asking for advice, just wondering if anyone else has been in the same position. Im not really interested in dating at present, never had a one night stand so wont be looking for anyone to fulfil those needs. Otherwise Im very happy by myself.

OP posts:
Voided85 · 12/05/2026 20:11

@needagoodnightsleep1First of! Congrats with getting out of what sounded like an horrendous marriage, I’m 40/m , can’t say I’ve been in the same position you found yourself in, but it seems you’ve given yourself space and time and all I can say is just go enjoy yourself, live a little and see what’s out there.

SaraOnSaturday · 12/05/2026 22:13

Enjoy it!

That70sKid · 12/05/2026 23:04

Glad you got out of that awful marriage.

It is highly likely you’re experiencing the sex surge of menopause! Hormones go wild for a while. Find yourself someone to enjoy!

onetrickponee · 13/05/2026 00:23

enjoy some great sex whilst it lasts

NameChangingNoreen · 13/05/2026 09:37

I’m glad you got away, sounds awful.

i split from my husband due to a lack of intimacy, but it was mutual and amicable. I really don’t want a relationship at all, but wanted sex. A FwB opportunity recently emerged and I took it with zero regrets. Maybe this is what would help you too?

needagoodnightsleep1 · 13/05/2026 21:23

Thanks for your replies. I cant see an opportunity arising for a FwB but will keep an open mind if it does

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