Teenager walked in during sex and partner now feels uncomfortable at home

[Rhealdeal]

Last night in bed we were having sex, not loud or anything adventurous just standard me on top with my wife’s legs spread when we heard the unfortunate “mum, can we talk” as our 16 year old walked in the room. Not 100% they saw us at it as we were very quick to move and the bed is positioned away from the door. Wife is now convinced we can’t have sex when kids are home. Child hasn’t mentioned anything and to be honest I don’t think they will but anyone been through similar?

A lock on the door?

Have mentioned in the past but my wife says it would almost be as obvious if we were locking the door. Never happened before and was really late at night so hopefully just a one off

A lock on the door of a bedroom is a little unusual. I'm surprised they didn't at least knock first though, considering it was at a late hour.

It’s never actually been mentioned about them knocking on the door and our room is on a different floor and we will normally have the tv on a fairly low volume to take away any noise. That being said they probably heard the tv on and thought we were up watching tv and that’s why they called out as coming up. Luckily we heard one of the stairs creek near the top so we could just about move in time but I’m assuming they might have known because of the flustered looks we had

Lock on the door, it’s fine, they are old enough to know their parents need personal time. It’s not unusual though at the age of 16 they need to know to knock.

I thinking knocking would be a way forward. Not sure about a lock. But having said that, there was no lock on my parent's bedroom door and it would've never occurred to us to knock. Times change I suppose and maybe a few house rules are in order.

Lock on the door, or some sort of sliding bolt or something. If your wife really has an issue with a lock then get a rubber door wedge to put under the door to wedge it closed. Not a lock but it should definitely slow down or stop any children coming into the bedroom.

Time to introduce the rule of knocking on a closed door and waiting for permission to enter. It’s a very normal rule to have.

Rubber door stop sounds a good idea and also seems less obvious 👌🏻. If I knew parents had just put a lock on the bedroom door I’d be mortified knowing what might be going on 😂😂

My kids were trained to knock on our door from as soon as they could come in our bedroom independently.

We showed them the same respect.

I find it bizarre that other parents who are still having sex don't teach their children the same thing.

Teens (and IMO younger kids) need to learn that a closed bedroom door means you knock. That works for patents' bedrooms, siblings', and their own. Teach them that by knocking every time you go into their room, and challenge them if they don't do it?

I also think it's important for kids to be comfortable with the idea that adults have sex. I don't mean you should flaunt it, but babies have to come from somewhere, sex is part of a healthy relationship, and if kids are taught that sex is something to be ashamed of, they are more likely to have challenges forming their own functional romantic relationships in future.

Kids also need to learn that sometimes they will have to deal with stuff they feel uncomfortable with. Shielding them from any discomfort in a safe environment like their own home, means they grow up to be less emotionally resistant.