Having sex after divorce

[Sally333]

I am separated nearly divorced from my ex. I have met someone who is really wanting to have sex.
Thing is, I’m really nervous. Haven’t had sex in about 3 years and lacking in confidence etc. But other part of me is dying for sex as had been in an abusive, loveless marriage for a long time.
Just really nervous. Am I overthinking?
What is it like having sex after you have separated/divorced?

Communicate your needs, build trust, when your ready..... it's just like riding a different bicycle.

It’s definitely going to be different hopefully in a good amazing way !
I think you definitely need to communicate this either face to face or by text
From a man’s point of view he will hopefully go incredibly slow and tenderly
and be all about pleasuring you
I really hope you have a lovely experience

Been there. Done that. Albeit more than twice as long.
Whilst I can't promise it will be the same for you, being with someone who actually likes you and wants to have sex with you for a change has the potential to be absolutely amazing and life affirming.
Enjoy!

I didn't tell the guy he was my first after my divorce, but I think he worked it out. He was bloody lovely and I felt extremely satisfied afterwards.

My sister told me I'd cry afterwards, as she did.

I didn't!

So 2 different experiences there.

I took a very matter of fact approach that he was the first person to see me naked in a long time. I decided to project confidence, even though I wasn't feeling it. Embrace the nerves as much as you can.

And have fun!

100% this ^^
being with someone who actually wants you makes all the difference

The first time might not be the best time just because you are working each other out but then you might be pleasantly surprised especially if he is the opposite to your ex! Echo other poster of how amazing it is to feel desired after years of feeling like a pain for wanting sex

This ❤️

You deserve to enjoy a satisfying physical moment.
Dont overthink it .
And if you want something during the act , just say it and 99% of the time I bet your new partner will oblige .
Have fun. Enjoy the new

you are horny, attracted to him - he is attracted - best combo
the fact that you want him should suffice at first...
also if he is into it - amazing, some that want to wait - they have problems and require confidence etc...
catch up with lost time...

also - how did it go?

I was in exactly the same situation as you - abusive relationship and no sex for 5 years! My new partner knew this as I was very open about it. I was nervous - I thought I needed to relearn sex lol so I read a few articles like how to give a good bj, positions ect! I also did things to make myself feel good as a pre sex prep - new lingerie ect. Turns out I had nothing to worry about - the sex was amazing, we were both compatible and it was so nice to feel wanted and desired as well as respected. We actually had sex 3 times that afternoon. 6 years in sometimes we still repeat that pattern of 3 in a row! I hope it works out for you, I think once chemistry kicks in, you will forget you haven’t had sex for a long time and it will come back naturally.

My situation is different but when I went with someone new after a long dry spell I actually found it easier to communicate my nerves and therefore my needs. They guy really listened and spent lots of time getting me in the right place and it was a really positive experience

I decided to end it with him as I saw/felt a few red flags 🚩 & thought no.
I met another guy and been on several dates & we kissed loads and it felt electric for both of us.
I really want to sleep with him but very, very nervous. He is very patient and not pressuring me all.
I’m jusr really worried and self-conscious as haven’t had sex in a longtime.
Any tips/encouragement that could be given, much appreciated xxx

Best tip - don't stress about it. You know the mechanics. With the right person, the rest should be no more intimidating than having a conversation about how to peel a potato. (And no, that's not a euphemism.)

Start slowly and build up the momentum. IYSWIM