How would you approach finding semen on your pants twice?

[Rainbowbeginings]

Not sure where else to post this or even how to word this but here goes.
Last month when I was sorting the washing out and I noticed a wet pair of my pants. On inspecting them noticed they smelt of cum. I decided my husband must have had some alone time and used them to clean himself up.
However the exact same thing has happened today when I’ve gone to sort the washing out. They are not my fancy pants but ones I have probably worn for exercising and are a bit sweaty and smelly.
I don’t even know how to approach this with my husband. I don’t even know why I’m posting this but I feel I need some advice

I have seen adverts for used panties, I have never bought any but some men must like the smell of them.
Your husband must enjoy your smell and I guess used the smell to get himself excited and them masturbated when you were not arround. I love the smell of my wife which I think is part of loving her
I think it is a compliment to you that he gets excited by the smell of your panties, maybe you can talk to him about what he enjoys and share the fun.

At least its your pants hes using. Talk to him you could give him some used gym pants and some alone time.... If it was my partner i would find it weird to start with, but it could be alot worse.

@Rainbowbeginings One of your other relatively recent MN post comments suggests your relationship might not be in the best of places.
And you haven't said how you feel about him using your pants like this.
How you address it really depends on what outcome you want to achieve.

Make sure it's only yours he is using....

Just because someone has proclivities that aren't exclusively vanilla, isn't it a little reductive to suggest they're not monogamous?

@mnmnddddd yes you’re right, things haven’t been great and the sexual side is difficult at the moment so I just don’t know how to broach this at all.

Then Addressing this now could either be inflammatory or, if approached with openness and curiosity, it could be a route into a conversation about how to get back on track.

I have never found that my husband has cum in my underwear and I wouldn't want him to at all, but I have seen cum stains in his underwear from time to time. I've asked him before and I know he gets a wet dream every now and again still and sometimes cums in his underwear if he is having a wank on his own.

The fact that he cums in them and then makes no effort to hide that fact from you makes it seem as if he wanted you to know he was doing it?

I'd assume, I'm afraid, that he was wearing them, finding that sexy and then wanking to completion in them. I think it's an optimistic interpretation to think he just grabbed for the nearest bit of cloth to wipe himself up and it happened to be your pants. Twice. Also - ew! What's wrong with having a bit of loo paper at the ready?

No OP, this was deliberate. And he can't even be arsed to put them in the laundry himself. Yuck.

Well, if nothing else it definitely shows that he still fancies you. Whereas it may increase the laundry load, I'd see this as a desire to get your sex life back on track.

So confronting him like it’s a problem or 🚩 red flag will get you no where.
Obviously has needs going unmet and is handling it alone . If there is a kink to it that’s minor .
The problem is not wanting to support his sexual need.
For example : My wife has said to me on more than 10 occasions over the past years , if I fancy a stroke and need release and she is not in the mood or otherwise tired - she will say I want you to cum on me - pull my pants down , pull my shirt up … roll me over , clean me up . You know why? She wants to ensure she is the object of my desire. She wants to be that guaranteed inspiration . She will assist , and enthusiastically enjoy those moments with me so I never do it alone .

Next time he fancies a session have him come over to you with the leggings/ pants on , take your top off and tell him you want him to stroke it until he comes all over your pants .
If you are repulsed by this and his behavior , you need to end the marriage and allow him to move on for someone more compatible for each of you .
Staying in a toxic relationship that’s not working is a waste of peoples lives . We only live once .

I hope the original poster has seen this thread,
www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/5184660-caught-bf-masturbating-using-my-knickers-and-i-feel-a-bit-weird-about-it