Adult children at home

[Parentofstudent]

Name changed for this! DS1 (middle child) age 19 is away from home at university. Came back on Friday. He has a long standing girlfriend who is at uni but lives with her parents quite near us. I don’t know her parents at all. They have met DS a few times but the girlfriend is at our house a lot whenever DS is not at uni.

On Sunday my other two kids (DD age 22) and DS2 age 15) complained they could hear DS1 and girlfriend “having sex” (my DS2’s words).

I was asleep and don’t especially care but agree not ideal for DD or DS1 to hear. DD’s room is adjacent to his. DS2 only heard when he left his own room to use the toilet (ie from hallway).

Also concerned about the girlfriend’s parents - they are from another culture - and they may not approve - maybe we are too laid back (he is an adult).

When this came up with my DS and his GF, we asked them to be considerate to us and other DS. There were opportunities for them to have the house to themselves, we told them when they could be alone and to take that time to be intimate. I did hear them occasionally but the others didn’t. We did know the GF’s Mum, she wouldn’t let him sleep overnight there and she wasn’t happy that we couldn’t be home with them all the time she was at our house, but we worked, had a social life. She did tell us she lied to her Mum telling her she was staying at friends, but I would rather them be at our house than hanging around parks etc.

Thanks - yes I think we need to tell them to be more considerate but DS2 already told him 😱 so likely he already realises. Regarding her parents not much I can do, she doesn’t stay over but I have zero clue what time she leaves as I’m already asleep. It’s not realistic or fair to say a 19 year old (almost 20) can’t have his girlfriend in his bedroom.

I think unless thwy are being silly loud you all just ignore it

If they've already been told by DS2, I'd leave it for now.
As for the GF's parents - presumably she's over 18, so ehat she does and what she tells her parents is upto her.

I remember being in this situation when I was younger. My mum asked me to be considerate of others in the house. It saves any embarrassment for them or others.