Feeld? FabSwingers? Something else?

[ShippingRoutes]

After a lengthy period of discussion DH and I are looking to open our relationship or at least exploring the idea of it further. That could just be chatting to people and going for drinks to see how we get on, or it could be more.

I was wondering if people have experience of things like Feeld or FabSwingers or anything else you recommend. There is a slight kink element to it, so I’m not sure if that opens up where we look further?

When it comes to photos what is the situation? I don’t mind sharing photos when there has been some back and forth but I’d hate to be spotted online and recognised by one of the parents at school or someone at work.

Any tips would be much appreciated!

Fetlife.

Don't show any pictures

I’ve met people on both. Fab can be a bit savage.

How do you mean savage?

Thanks for the fetlife tip?

What are the options for age verification and privacy on sites like these?
Last time I looked, FAB and Fetlife both required privacy compromising age verification processess but I think Feeld does not.

The ones where you have to share your government ID and it is stored in the USA?
I’ve got nothing to hide but also not keen on uploading ID so I can have some spank me. 😂😂😂

I wonder if my VPN would help me skip that.

Having seen (eg) how primitive FAB's website is, I'm not sure I'd trust them to keep sexually compromising data secure.

If you want to try swinging, fab is the best site in the UK. Everyone is on it. You can block single males if you want to.

i'd recommend Feeld.

Fab is hard work , too many messages to sift thru and Fetlife is no good for meeting people.

Same rules on intimate photos always apply , never show your face ; tattoos ; front room ; car reg ......

Fetlife is good for meeting people. Lots of events are advertised for groups, clubs etc depending on what you’re after, or go to a munch together, but maybe not in your hometown to start.

WeAreX (WAX) is good too, an evolution of Killing Kittens, but you can use the app without paying for KK membership.

Has lots of social groups which are good, especially for those like you looking for something new.

Fab can feel pretty full on, but close down your message filters and it's manageable, and it's definitely the biggest site.

Feeld - well I stopped using it when I found out my daughter was on there 😂 but it's kind of earnest and not a great app.

WAX is a nice happy medium imo.

I found WAX shit - really expensive and only useful if you live in London or the local south.
Feeld is good. More poly / swing / queer dating.
Fetlife is not easy for meeting people on but good for events where you might meet people.
Fab swingers is hard work and seems to be full of people who want to meet now.
3way dating app is good. We’ve met a few couple on there.
I have heard good things about swing hub.

You will get massively more matches if you show your faces. You don’t need to post sexy pics, normal is fine / better. Unless you’re into hotwifing or want to get to sexual messaging etc v quick.

Be realitic and prepared though. It’s not actually that easy to meet people if you don’t live in London, people (esp the men I have found) often get cold feet.

Also, while we are kinky we only do the open bit online. It’s much better to go to good trusted events for kink. Online is full of people who have no clue about being RACK and you might not want to mix sex and kink from the off. Kink at events defo easier to get into than sex.

Oh, I don't pay for it. And I generally avoid Londoners because they tend not to leave London, but I've met some nice blokes on there. Different things appeal and work for different people I guess 😊

Sorry, I didn’t mean anything against your post at all! And I tend not to be seeking men on a one-to-one basis. So I might have had a very different experience to you. Apologies!

Oh gosh, no offence taken, just musing and agreeing really that there's no one size fits all method of finding someone to shag 😁

Well that’s certainly true!! And I do think finding other couples is trickier than anticipated. There are a fair few who have watched Open House and felt horny (haven’t we all!), launched on to the apps but then when the reality is there it turns out they haven’t thought it through.

Yes, absolutely - when I was in a couple and we were ideally looking for that it was so difficult. Way too many variables going on! Much easier (in that respect) now it's just me.

Would you try going to an actual club event? It's my preference, rather than just spend hours looking at random, unsolicited cock pics online...

I've been on FetLife for a long time and it's been really good. I dip in and out when I want and met some wonderful people that have become life long friends.

Fetlife is great for meeting people, particularly when there’s a kink element, as you mentioned. The people there tend to be more aware of consent and generally respectful than on the likes of fab, in my experience, though I’m speaking broadly there.

on fab, you need to set your messsge filters eg no single males, no new accounts, no accounts without pics, no accounts without verification etc. it cuts out a lot of the dross.

good luck!

On the verification question, Several of them ask for a photo of your holding today’s date and some random phrase so you can’t get a photo off the internet. Fab did that. Fet I think has an AI thing which looks at your face and decides if you’re old enough, I think.

Swinghub has the strictest sign up protocol with ID verification.
From memory fab is just a photo of you holding a piece of paper with your username on. Once you've either cammed or met someone on there they can then verify you to say you're genuine. It's like TripAdvisor but for sex 🤣
As others have said, you have to wade through the dross and keep your message filters tight. A good way in is to use the forums on there.
Photos, whatever you're comfortable with. There will be some stuff you can't unsee 😳 but browsing through other profiles can give some ideas.
A club night might suit you better, you can go and just be sociable, get a feeling for the place and chat to folk.
Have a clear understanding of what your boundaries are as a couple, and share them with whoever's joining you. I remember once asking a couple of there were any boundaries, told none, then Mrs got well cross with Mr for kissing me as apparently that was one of their boundaries 🤦‍♀️