Not reaching the big O very often

[unsurewhattodoaboutx]

So I’ve been with my bf for over 6 months, he is lovely in every way and also giving in bed. But I don’t get to the finish line that often.

I feel like I need to talk to him about it but I don’t want to offend him or make him not feel good!

He goes down on me most of the time and does it for a long while but that isn’t enough. I used to squirt with other partners a lot but it’s never happened with him and I think he just doesn’t have the technique for it. And also I have been trying to work out why I’m not getting there and I think when he does what I like he then changes to something else so doesn’t do it long enough.

I also feel like I don’t know exactly what I need him to do so it’s not that easy to direct him.

what can I do about this as it’s getting frustrating. I do enjoy it but just not finishing that often is getting to me now!

If you don't sort it out then it's only going to get more frustrating and will turn into resentment.
Do you actually fancy him? Is he too nice? Perhaps previous lovers have been a bit more dominant in the bedroom or in other words more masterful and experienced. Only you know.
You should also know your own body and what it needs to be fulfilled, you should also be uninhibited enough to show him what is required. Its a two way street.

Talk, talk, talk. He won't know what you want or like unless you vocalise it.
Obviously you can vocally respond when he is in action either by "moaning" (along with the appriate hip movements) or by simply saying "that's nice", "keep doing that", "more", "right there" or similar.
Then you can have pillow talk but you must make it a two way learning process by finding out what he likes or wants.

Life's too short for this. Of course you need to talk to him about it. Women are too often conditioned in this way - listen to yourself, you're not getting enough orgasms and yet you're worried about upsetting him?!

Whilst this may be true, taking a combative men vs women approach to solving problems like this is not going to end well (unless you both find you're into D/s). It's not a bad thing to be mindful of not upsetting a partner (whatever gender or sexuality) when talking about sex - you're not going to have good sex when you've just told someone they're crap at it.
Also think about how you use the word "But" when talking to him. "I'm really enjoying sex with you but ..." is not going to be as well received as "I really like it when you ..."

@Mysticguruyes I definitely fancy him and also he is dominant, I just think he changes positions a lot so something feels good but he changes it.

@Oldtadgeri have told him when he is doing what I like but I feel like he doesn’t do it long enough and moves onto something else. I think I just need to tell him to keep doing that

@ScarlettSarahwell I can tell he is trying to please me so I don’t want to upset him, as he is giving in bed but it’s just that I’m not always getting there, so I’m looking for a way to tell him without upsetting him

@mnmndddddyes I agree I need to word it well im wondering if it is best to talk about it during or after I think I will try during first and see how it goes

Keep it light! If he is moving on when you are just starting to get there,something along the lines of “whoa boy as you were” or dont stop,thats good for me, thats guidance not somthing that will damage his ego…

“Is he too nice”

Does that mean if he was a right wanker he’d make her orgasm? Jeez 🙄

Don’t talk show him, men love watching you, and in turn he will learn what you like.

Perhaps you should take on the dominant role (as bit of role play mistress/fun) and then "order" him to follow your instructions to your "satisfaction". Keep it light and fun.

I think this is as much about you relaxing, and it is totally about boldness in communication. You getting on so well almost makes it more difficult, more awkward somehow to talk about.

I think you need to direct him and be really clear about it. I get that some conversation might make it a thing and make the mental block worse (potentially for both of you) so I think you just have to be brave and say oh do it like this, or please do this. Show him. Tell him how nice it is when he does x. etc.

And if he's doing something nice then stops, then say no don't stop!!

A question: if you are on your own, can you get there quicker?

Do you think that what is holding you back when, for example, he gives you oral is some kind of hangup on your part? Cos it might be.