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Frustrating with lack of sex

7 replies

frustratedwithlife · 05/01/2026 13:38

My partner M41 and I F39 have been together 3 years. I seem to have a higher sex drive than him. He struggles to maintain an erection. Sex is good when it happens, which isn't very often. He has tried porn with and without me with very little success. We most often have oral. My partner is currently having tests from the GP and has been given Viagra, which works but even with that he struggles to cum when we have PIV. We share our time between our two homes until he moves in with me when his lease is up.
Recently my SD6 stayed with us and as I need work doing on my home to make room for her she stayed in our large room on a spare bed at the other side. My partner had a huge erection when we were cuddling in bed (no meds taken) and we hadn't been intimate for around a week. So he asked me to pleasure him as SD was sound asleep so I did. SD couldn't see our bed and he was quiet and he came extremely quick, quicker than he has ever came before. He said he thinks it was rushed due to SD being over the other side of the room and it was quiet, as I can be vocal and love dirty talk.
Not sure if this is relevant but he is overweight. I have over the last 2 years lost alot of weight and still have a way to go to get to target. He works a week on a week off with the occasional couple of days overtime. He doesn't smoke, but does drink every now and then.
What can I do to improve our sex life, its frustrating, I ask him fantasies, his is me in lingere which I do.

OP posts:
EmmaOvary · 05/01/2026 13:50

What have I just read??? The only time he’s able to have an erection and ejaculate is when his daughter is sleeping in the same room? And you see nothing wrong with this?

frustratedwithlife · 05/01/2026 13:55

You have misread what I have said. That happened once and it wasn't that she was there it was coz it was rushed. Our room is large its actually 3 rooms in one and she was over the other side couldnt see the bed. We are regularly intimate just he struggles to maintain his erection. Thats why he is having tests with the GP, possibly testosterone issues.

OP posts:
PTown · 05/01/2026 13:55

I’m creeped out. This shouldn’t be happening with children in the room. I hope he’s saving for her future therapy bills!

sxform · 05/01/2026 19:23

🤢🤢🤢

FieryA · 05/01/2026 20:37

I think there are two separate issues here. If he had an erection when the daughter was in the room, he should have either ignored it or both of you should have gone to some other room or bathroom to enjoy some privacy.
The second issue is that there seems to be a lot of impatience on your side for things to get better soon. If he is still undergoing tests, then it might be a while before you know the results. Also, what are you trying beyond intercourse? Is there foreplay and a build up of passion through touching, cuddling? You say he prefers silence over your dirty talk- does that suit you too? If there is sexual incompatibility at different levels, perhaps you should wait a bit till he moves in as that makes things more permanent. You could also explore sex therapy to help improve your intimacy.

Sunbeam01 · 06/01/2026 00:02

Having sex while DSD is in the same room???

Gross.

That is the most disturbing thing I have ever read on Mumsnet.

PeonyPatch · 06/01/2026 22:03

This is rather strange !!!!!

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