Oh the shame! Get ouuuutt!!! The rose

[Mandymoogenx]

Im not sure im asking or just venting, as I cant ask my mother!
Im in that space between leaving and still married, I'm ancient years old, all kids grown, stuck with one foot in the door one foot out. With endless attempts to "fix" things
So no surprise separate bedrooms, But im not dead, i do have urges, and I did dust off my little toy that hides in the bedside side draw, and plugged it in to recharge ( yes ladies batteries are so 1990's) tucked away hidden beside a dresser quietly charging for that next time i dream of those bat or fareie men.
So husband must of stopped about my room and clocked the charger, i mean to of seen it you would of had to climb the furniture like an angry raccoon, and im wondering if dildo checks had been going on without my knowledge for ages, anyway..he then started calling me nasty names, calling me a wanker too ! And saying it was despicable as he was in the house, like as if I want a dick attached to a full moron when I just need to scratch an itch once a blue moon.
He has made claims about ending the marriage immediately because, how could I be a normal functioning human female? But a right sulk, totally ignoring me, creating weird energy on top of already living in weird energy, do I need permission or something, is this normal male behaviour, what would a healthy masculine done?

Leave him, like you said you’re a woman with needs and it’s perfectly normal to have toys and normal to use them, with or without him! He has no right what to tell you can and can’t do sexually.
get away and make yourself happy and use as many toys as you want

Being in between leaving and still married - does this mean that the process has started, or you are still trying to decide?

I am not going to say I am a posterboy of "healthy masculine", I have many flaws, too, but I can tell you that much that the way he responded reminded me of a clueless child, maybe a teenage boy, who has no real grasp of humanity. Checking on, looking for your toys screeeeeeams of insecurity. And then calling you out on it, calling you names puts the immaturity cherry on the insecurity cake. I am usually leaning towards talking things out but that is very low. Makes you wonder what he does for his own self-gratification then...Based on his logic that is deplorable, too... But I digress. If I found a toy my wife would use (accidentally, as I wouldn't even get to a headspace of "racooning" through things to find any), I would just go on with my day...My wife and I have a good and healthy sex life, but it does not mean that I need to there and sign off her time she would just treat herself. It's not like finding a group of men hiding in the wardrobe, haha. That would be different, haha.

I do hope the nasty words didn't get to you in the slightest.. You have every right to get some joy out of life, if it doesn't hurt anyone. And if something like this makes him act like that, you truly have no business alongside him..

Look for the gifts.....
He has just confirmed that you are making the right decision to leave him!
You don't need his permission to enjoy yourself. Seeing the toy has possibly made him feel inadequate.
Push forward with your plans to leave & don't look back. Buy yourself a new toy to celebrate 🥳

Regardless of who l’m having 1:1 sex with, l still enjoy an “electronic workout” more or less daily, sometimes twice. The needs are totally different. Any male that sees this as a threat should head for the door.

As for the name calling OP, join me in being a proud “sister wanker”. ❤️

A normal mentally healthy man wouldn't be looking through your stuff. And if you accidentally left it plugged into your toothbrush charger in the bathroom, a healthy man would just ignore that (he might feel a little sad that your relationship had reached a point where it was none of his business)

That sounds like a very progressive convent, Sister.

Horrible man. And I understand as someone who has recently started a relationship with someone who makes me feel safe and secure sexually and free to express myself. I wish I had found him sooner. Once again, your husband is horrible to make you feel shame like this.

Calling you a wanker? How old is he? 13? None of his business, millions of people go solo, regardless of their relationship status. It’s very normal and nothing to be an ashamed of.

I bet he wanks. It's not women's fault that we've got clits that are perfect for toys to use on. I bet if willies were buzzable he'd have ten of them charging in his bedroom.

not sure what you're hanging around for Mandy

get out and find a healthy masculine

Tell him to mind his own and shut it
its none of his business

Also… ask yourself what is stopping you leaving? How do you feel when it’s just you in the house - eg Do you feel lighter? He just sounds unpleasant and if the kids have left and you can manage it financially then go for it. It will only get worse.

Go ahead and put that other foot out the door. Bless you for wanting to have orgasms - when you do find your next partner you’ll see how grateful they are that you know your body and what you like and have a healthy interest in sex. And that’s the word, healthy. It’s so normal for you to want to enjoy your own body. Trying to guilt or shame someone out of that is almost equal to assault. It is a mental assault to be honest. He is just attacking you and it’s painful to read about. The most important thing is that you don’t let him successfully attach shame or embarrassment to you enjoying your body. You go girl! My wife has like, four vibratory and two dildos and when I found her toy box early on in our relationship I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I love using all the toys in her. Plus it means she really knows what she likes. It’s so healthy, so normal and so absolutely your right. And that’s situation you’re in now with your ex, it’s so toxic. Should carry a health warning like a blue plaque on your front door. Stay strong. Get that other foot out the door and come into the light and join the rest of us 😁

😂😂