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Original poster

Haven’t had sex for 2 months..

12 replies

Nosex7 · 30/12/2025 09:10

I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, I’m mid 30s and he’s mid 40s.

We’ve gone through rough patches in the past and this year has especially been hard. Around September/October time I was seriously considering leaving him but I decided to persevere.

As stated above, we haven’t had sex for 2 months, we haven't even kissed thinking on it.

A couple of times I have mentioned to him about the lack of sex and he has brushed it off as we’re both so tired, which we are, but we’ve always managed to make time for it before. I mentioned again last night and he said he’s waiting for me to make a move. I don’t really feel like making a move when I’m the one bringing it up and he’s brushing it off!

Is this it then? Is this what happens when a marriage dies? It just stops?

OP posts:
mbonfield · 30/12/2025 09:24

It is a very difficult situation. Sex and marriage go together, dare I say it but it is glue!
There is no other way to find out what the issues are but to have a full and frank discussion unless you have already done so.
What about a few nights away to a different environment. Failing that write down what you see the issues are and hand it to him on card?
Good luck OP.

MissWhiskey · 30/12/2025 13:55

Would it help to work on getting the intimacy back first? Listening to music with a glass of wine, maybe massage each other.

PUGMEISTER21 · 30/12/2025 17:27

Make a point of sitting down at the dining room table twice a week and just chatting/reconnecting over a glass of wine. Just talk about everything and anything.

Parkrun69 · 30/12/2025 17:46

Do you both sleep in bed naked ?
This would be a start , I know some couples who’ s wife normally sleeps in PJs however when he gets into bed and she is naked this is a very clear sign , it’s
perhaps more subtle. Does he realise you are frustrated and self pleasuring this can sometimes stimulate him to engage in pleasuring you .

bemine247 · 30/12/2025 17:48

Why were you thinking of leaving? Has whatever was wrong been properly sorted out? Is it sex that's been the issue or something else?

MonkeyChopsUser · 30/12/2025 18:11

In the big picture 2 months is not really that long, but it sounds like you have deeper seated issues- has everything been resolved from earlier this year?

you might indeed have to be the person to make the 1st move, forget about sex and just try getting back to out of the bedroom touching, the “ I’m still here” touch

Gymbunny2025 · 30/12/2025 21:26

Well 2 months ago you were considering leaving him. And you’ve not had sex since. I wonder if it’s the relationship issues that need focusing on for him (both of you?) rather than the sex? At least to start with. Maybe he’s still reeling that you nearly left him?

Davy009 · 05/01/2026 15:42

Parkrun69 · 30/12/2025 17:46

Do you both sleep in bed naked ?
This would be a start , I know some couples who’ s wife normally sleeps in PJs however when he gets into bed and she is naked this is a very clear sign , it’s
perhaps more subtle. Does he realise you are frustrated and self pleasuring this can sometimes stimulate him to engage in pleasuring you .

That seems like a good way of going about it, from a mans perspective can be difficult, we arent great at picking up the signs sometimes, and also the bigger deal it gets the bigger deal it is, and then can fell forced or pressured. Self pleasure helps but doesnt completely fill the gap for sure, unusual i think for the man to be the one brushing it aside, it doesnt usually take much for us to come to the party lol

exhaustDAD · 05/01/2026 16:33

My question would be whether the only thing that went wrong in your relationship is the lack of sex, or are there other things? You mentioned rough patches, but does that mean times of no intimacy, or completely different issues?

ruddiger · 09/01/2026 17:27

Go shopping. Buy some new tiny bikinis for next time you go on holiday. Better try them on. Do that at home. Come out with one of the very small bikinis on, and ask him how it looks...

moderate · 25/01/2026 19:25

Nosex7 · 30/12/2025 09:10

I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, I’m mid 30s and he’s mid 40s.

We’ve gone through rough patches in the past and this year has especially been hard. Around September/October time I was seriously considering leaving him but I decided to persevere.

As stated above, we haven’t had sex for 2 months, we haven't even kissed thinking on it.

A couple of times I have mentioned to him about the lack of sex and he has brushed it off as we’re both so tired, which we are, but we’ve always managed to make time for it before. I mentioned again last night and he said he’s waiting for me to make a move. I don’t really feel like making a move when I’m the one bringing it up and he’s brushing it off!

Is this it then? Is this what happens when a marriage dies? It just stops?

I mentioned again last night and he said he’s waiting for me to make a move.

But you haven't kissed him for two months?

Why not?

Winterbolt · 31/01/2026 02:28

Once the threat of leaving is leveraged - it’s over.

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