Any sploshers here?

[ahhshucks]

I’ve NC for this for obvious reasons. I’ve posted before about this on MN and get a lot of unhelpful LTB replies. I’m hoping the sex board will be more helpful.

So Dh and I have been together for nearly 10 years. Relatively early in our relationship I saw some dodgy stuff in his internet history about sploshing and food play. He was very embarrassed but admitted it was a kink of his that he’s been into for many years. I was shocked. It was pretty extreme stuff, not just licking a bit of whipped cream off one another but women (and men) getting full on covered and dunked in slime and custard.

Anyway our sex life has always been a bit vanilla and infrequent. In the back of my mind I always suspected this was due to his kink. That’s what really gets him going and sex with me is more of an obligation. He denies this is the case.

Last year we had a massive bust up and actually nearly broke up when I found out he’d set up an OF to watch this material. It felt like a huge betrayal. He wasn’t communicating directly with any of those people but he had been paying to view content and I was really disgusted. That was when we had a very open honest chat about things. He explained that it brings him a great deal of shame, he’s embarrassed about it, he knows it’s ridiculous and it’s all just fantasy stuff.

Since then I think communication has improved a lot and we have even done things like have videos playing while we are being intimate etc. He has never suggested us doing it and in my mind that was because he wanted to keep his fantasy and his real life separate which I understood.

Now however he’s mentioned possibly trying it. He said this over Xmas when he’d had a lot to drink so I don’t know how serious he was. I am not a prude and I would be open to trying it if it means a lot to him. However logistically I don’t know how youd cope with the mess! Or if I’d like it or just find it all a bit ridiculous. If anyone is into this or has any experience I’d be very interested in hearing about it. I am open minded and love my dh. We have a good relationship and I feel like the barriers between us regarding this issue are slowly breaking down.

No experience of it, but for what it’s worth, if you are ok with trying it and he wants to, buy a plastic sheet and have fun

I am open minded and happy to try most things! It’s just that this is very far out of my comfort zone and not something I have found particularly sexy! But the fact he is gradually opening up about it means a lot to me and I think it could be fulfilling for our relationship. I just don’t really know what to do.

Tbh I’ve never heard of this term so I’ve had to google it.

it’s a fetish, and personally I don’t see an issue with it as long as it doesn’t interfere with your intimacy together and he doesn’t pressurise you to do things you don’t want to.

if I had this fetish I wouldn’t be embarrassed by it, it’s not really any different to a foot fetish or a uniform fetish.

I’ve don’t similar with my OH, we have used foods and have gotten messy so I doubt it’s as uncommon as you may think. Just make sure you have a plastic sheet on the mattress and hot water ready for a shower together afterwards!

Thank you for sharing. I think what struck me is that it isn’t just a bit of food play. It’s full on mess and gunge, often being submerged in it. I don’t think the bed would survive! It would have to be something in the bath I think.

Ive told him there is no need to be ashamed or embarrassed with me. I don’t judge, I’m not disgusted. Shocked maybe and a bit confused. But the issues come when he is secretive or seeking his fix elsewhere - that feels like a betrayal. I’m sure he still views things online like many men in relationships watch porn but the fact that he is also opening up to me a bit more is reassuring.

I just feel a bit clueless about it all.

Several issues and again, I haven’t done it so it’s not from experience, he was very drunk when he said he wanted to try, so you don’t know for sure , maybe, as he’s talking about it more openly, ask him when he’s sober if he wants to do it, if you do, keep it to a level you like, from a quick google of what it can entail, a bit of squirty cream is one thing and probably good fun runny custard/ beans, slime mud etc is another thing entirely. if you do try it and don’t like it, tell him and don’t do it again, it’s his fantasy , not yours

It’s definitely more on the extreme custard, beans, slime side. Maybe it could be built up gradually. Not even sure where you’d find that volume of custard!!

Never heard the term "splosher" before, Google is your friend: http://www.sploshuk.co.uk/forum/

If you can find one at this time of year an inflatable swimming pool is perfect for sploshing

First of all I'd like to say that you sound lovely; he's lucky to have a partner who is so understanding

I've never tried it, so these are just thoughts

1. Maybe get a paddling pool to contain the mess?

1. Is there a way you could get the custard/beans/chocolate sauce warmed up? That would surely help...

1. Is there a hygiene concern about getting half a pint of boeuf bourgignon up your fanny? Can that be good for you? How do you clean up - because you don't want a shallot dropping out when you're halfway round sainsbury, or a dribble of creme caramel sliding down you inner thigh when you're having tea with the vicar (or is that half the fun?)

This made me howl but also is a genuine concern, i don’t think we’d be using fine dining products but even large amounts of custard or beans in your intimate areas can’t be good? Also gone down a bit of a rabbit hole and discovered “cake sitting” which is basically what it says on the tin. All I can say is it sounds like a criminal waste of cake and a yeast infection waiting to happen.

I have not had an experience of this but I can understand how getting completely messy can be fun, playful and a form of stress relief as well as sexually arousing for some people. I see sex as an adult form of play and being able to just let go and focus on physical and emotional pleasure. Sploshing is almost a reverse engineering of that by creating an environment for abandonment. I am curious to know how your DH developed this interest, does he know where it stems from? Personally I LOVE tactile mess like wallowing in mud so I can see the appeal as long as all people are 18+ and consenting. I guess there is very much an interest and market for it.
emotions.market

He said that when he was a teenager he saw something relating to it in a magazine or newspaper and it started there. He has a very professional, grown up job and quite a serious personality to the outside world, and this is so far removed from that.

It has caused a lot of problems for us especially when I felt our sex life was lacking and he was getting his kicks alone from this. But I do appreciate that he’s now opening up a bit and i want to support him. Personally I can’t get my head around it at the moment but it may change if we try it together.

Start simple, a couple of cans of squirty cream and some chocolate sauce (other flavours are available !!) and get in the bath/shower and think of it as a fun thing to do.

Would not advise beans in the bath, explaining to the plumber the reason for the blockage might be a bit embarassing...😂although I suspect it wont be the first time he has seen it..

If I had a partner into this I'd try it for sure. You have to weigh up the pros and cons. Pro, they really like it. Like it's a high value item for them. Con, for me I'm not into it but if someone was going to pour custard over my head, would just seem a bit silly to me. But... if having custard on my head was really blowing my wife's mind, like really turning her on, I'd be thrilled I'd found a new way to surge straight to her brain and give her this amazing sexual experience. And the cost for me is just a bit of custard on my head. And then she's going to be more interested to do things that really turn me on, even if they're not top of her list...

As for, how can you do it cleanly? Simple. The bathtub. Go crazy in there and then afterwards, or before you've even got out, reach for the shower head and anything liquid just washes away. Anything a bit more solid, put one of those little grates over the drain, and put solids in the food waste bin. No mess.

If I could do something that was meh for me, but it blew my wife's mind, for sure. Be there in a heartbeat. Actually my wife does have some stuff in bed she loves, that never occurred to me. Or I just, they're not my go-to. I'm guilty of hearing her, trying those things, but then sort of forgetting them. This post is a good reminder for me that I have to double down on the bits that really matter to her. I want her to be shaking when she orgasms. That's so hot for me, to see her so turned on.