Porn addiction

[ramesesmaze]

Are there any men left in this world who aren’t addicted to porn? The first time I experienced this in a partner was 25 years ago, about the time online porn was so easily accessible. Suffice to say I tried to understand, couldn’t, got rid. The whole thing seems so depressing to me, men justifying them selves etc etc. Few and far between is a man who gives a shit about a women’s pleasure. Believe me, I don’t hold back trying to please a partner but I’m 50 and it seems like so many have been pleasing themselves for god knows how long a real woman doesn’t do it any more. Bah humbug 😒

I think you just need to find the right partner, I’d do anything to satisfy who I’m with. I have quite a high sex drive and I wouldn’t be satisfied unless whoever I was with was as well, it’s part of the enjoyment for me, and almost a mission to ensure they climax and try and make them feel like no one else has. Can’t guarantee I always will but I try haha

I'm a man that has had porn issues and now doesn't, in large part thanks to being with the right person. So if you meet someone and it's an issue, but you like that man otherwise- it's worth fighting for.
Fighting for what though:

• for him to get informed about what it does to others: to your own confidence as a partner, to actors and especially actresses, to all through culture.
• to reclaim pleasure away from performative practices that only exist for the camera
• to look after their sexual health in ways that are shared with you.

Last point, in men your (our) age, unhealthy interest in porn probably has psychological causes. I began therapy as a result , and I'm glad I did; there's no more porn involved, but that work is only beginning.

I rentered the dating world 4 years ago, after 17 years with my ex, during which time online porn had become a thing. I couldn't bear to be with someone with a porn addiction and would not stick around to try and change them. I was very lucky that my first and only relationship since my ex is a now 54 year old man with no porn issues. He does watch it but not to an extent that it has negatively affected our sex life at all. Since they brought the new ID regulations in, he hasn't bothered yet.

So there definitely are men out there without porn issues but I agree with you in that I hate the way that online porn has changed and damaged society.

It’s because of men’s testosterone levels, they can help it, not a moral issue.

I do have some degree of control, but I've had to work on it. I agree that porn is made people like me (men), and we are vulnerable. But we do have agency to live a quality sex life where porn is not necessary.
Particularly, if you are close to a man who uses porn and you do not like it, whatever the reason, you can tell him to you want him to cut it out, and the "nothing I can do" answer is incomplete.

If you find it unhealthy, treat it like any bad habit. People are able to stop drinking, gambling... They are able to live healthier sex lives too. It takes work; like any self-medication, it is a response to a need, and it allows people to hobble along. But there are better responses, and each of us find ours.

If you find your men aren't good enough, don't be content with the "can't help it" answer.

Source - Wikipedia:

Pornography addiction is the scientifically controversial[1] application of an addiction model to the use of pornography.[2] Pornography use may be part of compulsive behavior, with negative consequences to one's physical, mental, social, or financial well-being. While the World Health Organization's ICD-11 (2022) has recognized compulsive sexual behavior disorder (CSBD) as an impulse-control disorder,[3] CSBD is not an addiction,[4][5] and the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-5 and the DSM-5-TR do not classify compulsive pornography consumption as a mental disorder or a behavioral addiction.[4][6][7]

Irrespective of the moral issues surrounding porn, I would say porn is only an addiction if it adversely impacts one’s life , whether than be socially, work or within a relationship.

i watch porn daily when i’m not with my DP. When we are not together we have sex. So although it doesn’t affect my daily life, it’s become habitual to watch it before I go to sleep.

However, I would also say I would find it harder to quit porn than I would alcohol, smoking or gambling.

My DP watches it as well, and she knows I watch it and neither of us has an issue with either watching porn. If they did, I would certainly make more of an effort to stop or at least cut down.

Generally speaking, most men need visual stimulation, ie porn etc whereas most woman need physical stimulation ie vibrator or a dildo where visual stimulation isn’t needed as much.

Oh dear, not that old chestnut...keep up with the research... that incredibly convenient myth has been debunked.
What women need is a man who doesn't have to watch women, oftentimes vulnerable, trafficked & young enough to be his granddaughters (you can't really take the moral issues out of it can you?) to get off...oh & one who doesn't always have to rely on, errr....tools, to physically stimulate his woman.

OP, it is depressing...hold out for a dignified man who has a 50+ year old brain inside his 50+ year body, rather than an adolescent one -
there's nothing less stimulating than that...

A lot of men (and women too) watch porn now I'm sure and it has become more common in the last 25 years with the development of the internet and porn availability. So it's really not uncommon.

My husband says he started watching porn in his mid teens and has done regularly ever since, he is in his late 30's now. I'll watch it now and again, maybe once or twice a month. Neither of us has a issue with the other watching porn and both admit that it usually leads to masturbating while or after watching.

My husband has started to make an effort to watch less porn, his decision, and I'm fine with that so he isn't masturbating as often.

I feel bad of course for anyone who is addicted to porn. Addiction is defined as when you are compelled to consume / do something to the extent it causes an issue in your everyday life. So off the bat I'll say most men are not 'addicted' to porn.

I like porn. I check it out maybe two or three times a week - not for long periods of time; I'll take a glance at it. As for self pleasure, maybe once or twice a week in the shower. It's my right to do that. Why not.

Now, about giving a shit about women's pleasure. My wife is hot. Like, seriously hot. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Or even seen. In fact, of all the women in porn, and I'm not saying this, she's hotter. Goodness knows why she's with me.

I care a lot about her pleasure. The most intense, exciting thing ever is not porn, it's her when she orgasms. It's so hot. And I love either being in that moment or getting back to that moment. I'm good with my tongue and with my hands, which means I get to see her orgasm a lot. In my whole sexual life, at the center is when she orgasms. That's the big show - the most exciting thing and I love those moments so much. I'd say I care about her pleasure. But look at that, I still look at porn sometimes. I suppose one does not rule out the other.

I think if a guy doesn't care about your pleasure, it's not because of porn. It's because he's a dick. And he has one. But he also is one. You should look for other men. Not men who don't look at porn. When you put aside all the stuff coming out of San Fernando Valley (these women scream yes! yes! yes! and you can see in their eyes they're going, I have to do my tax return, get my nails done... oh yes and I have to check the mail and go the store later...), when you put aside that factory porn, some of the stuff with genuine couples who've put their intimate clips out there, it's nice and you can even get some good ideas. Some porn can be quite intimate. Anyway, looking at porn is not going to dictate if a guy is interested in your pleasure or not.

Don't let these jerks off the hook. Porn isn't to blame; they are. They have all the tools on their person to make you orgasm. If they're not doing it, it's because they are lame.