Thinking about fetishes and domination.

[CobhamMummy2008and2012]

Correct me if I am wrong ladies, But would you say porn has rotted men's brains to the point where they think feet are attractive? I saw a post earlier about a man asking his wife to dominate him, and she came on here asking for suggestions. Call me a prude or old fashioned but I think porn has changed how men view sex. Why would you want to be dominated? It sounds very violent. Very aggressive. Why would a woman want to be aggressive? Especially to a man? He could react badly to whatever she decides is dominant and hurt her? just my two pence worth.

Yes. Anything to do with feet is gross. Food isn't my thing either.

So if it's gross, it's perverted?
For me borscht is pretty gross.

So is whether it's your thing or not the measure of whether something is perverted?

Apparently so.. but the list of acceptable behaviours is closely guarded and reserved only for the initiated second wave feminists.

I infer that oral sex is also "gross" but don't know. Need confirmation before my date next week. Wouldn't want my feminist membership revoked.

Medieval BDSM literature:

https://muse.jhu.edu/book/111951

OP has to be joking about their views- nobody is this much of a judgemental cunt are they?

And because they MUST be joking- OP how would you feel about people who have never seen porn that includes whips, but still fancy the idea of a little flagellation of a weekend to get them through?

(edited for spelling)

Oral Sex is SEX. So yes its fine. Beating your partner with a whip is not sex and if you think it is, you're deranged.

@CobhamMummy2008and2012 I find it easier to understand why you might have a problem with S&M (even though it doesn't obviously take account of the fact a masochist enjoys the experience). What I'm really struggling to grasp is your delineation of what is or isn't perverted and how you define sex.
Oral sex is sex, but is a tit-fuck or masturbation? If manual masturbation of a partner is sex, how is that different to maturation with feet? Would that mean someone who has (through birth defects or amputation) no hands cannot masturbate their partner (whether male or female)?
Is anal sex not sex? I bring that up because someone recently posted a link to a medical research paper that described how the pudendal nerve runs between the vagina and the rectum and can therefore be directly stimulated by sodomy.
It would be great if you could share your guidance here.

Masterbation is normal. Anal sex is not normal. I don't care what a medical paper said. It hurts and its uncomfortable, and again, Its always men who watch porn that demand it.

But getting a penis rubbed against your feet is neither painful not uncomfortable. And, arguably, feet are less "gross and smelly" than some private parts. If oral sex is sex but touching feet is perversion, what's the logic here?

Incorrect. I have slept with several different women who requested anal sex for themselves, because they liked it. Plenty of women on here have said that they enjoy anal sex as well (among other things that you think are "perverted").

I can't work out if you are serious or trolling?

You may not care what medical papers say, but anatomy is not a matter of opinion.
Here are a couple of facts for you:
Anal sex doesn't have to hurt if you educate yourself. As an article in (I think it was) Psychology Today said in the context of porn and anal sex - if you tried to shoot a gun like Bruce Willis, you're going to get hurt.
Anal sex can definitely be pleasurable rather than uncomfortable.
It's not only demanded by men. (Altgough I suspect you'd claim those women who claim to actively enjoy anal sex are incapable of forming their own opinions.)
And on a slightly related note, because you mentioned feminism, I've long thought it would be fascinating to sit Andrea Dworkin and Erika Lust down together.

Interestingly I don’t think porn has a lot to do with how men have changed in attitudes
During my “working girl” days in massage parlours during the late eighties/early nineties there wasn’t really the availability of the x rated material there is now but it never ceased to amaze me of the inventive requests some men (& a couple of women) came up with basically to humiliate themselves.

I’m struggling to understand why I should care whether you approve of certain sex acts? What others find enjoyable is none of your business and you are not the sex police.

making pronouncements about what is ‘gross’ makes you sound immature and prudish.

Happy to correct you OP.

As an educated, professional woman in her 50s, I enjoy being dominated sexually. I’ve never been abused or suffered trauma. I have a very high self esteem and don’t let any man bully or coerce me into doing something I don’t enjoy. I agree that porn typically promotes violence against women and puts pressure on youngsters to mimic what they see online.

Your post demonstrates a complete lack of awareness or education about BDSM. You are judgemental and prejudiced, and clearly have a complete inability to consider any point of view other than your own limited understanding.

Of course, you are free to abstain from practices that you find ‘gross’ or ‘perverted’ but please do fuck off to the other side of fuck and stop telling the rest of us what we should or shouldn’t be doing.

Hear Hear - well said.

Your DH sounds like a saint. You've posted in the last couple of weeks about how drinking can be an issue and is affecting how people socialise with you, both friends and seemingly DH. And you very much have my support and sympathy - I'm not condemning at all.

But then you come on here to rant about how you've decided what's right and wrong and project on to everyone else what's perverted or normal. Maybe relax a little? Go with some of DH's suggestions with an open mind and an open heart, and don't worry what everyone else is getting up to? Who knows, you might like something new, or at least indulge DH a little which is good in a relationship?

I would love to be dominated by my wife. Because I love her fiercely and with passion. She is so nice. She is my best friend and she is courageous and strong and she is loyal and she loves me as much as I love her. I am very strongly loyal to her and I give her a full body massage most weeks even when I am tired, because I want to be that for her; I want to make her feel good. I want to love her and show her how she is loved. Sometimes when we play I ask her to use her beautifully manicured nails (she always gets lovely colourful designs - she is a real lady's lady) and hurt me a little bit. I like being in pain for her; it's like I'm doing it because I love her and she is doing it because she is accepting my love. Doesn't hurt much; it's like stingy more than painful but it's not the sensation - it's the huge emotion behind how I feel and interact with her. Porn really doesn't have a lot to do with any of that. A lot of porn is so ridiculous and Californiaised. I can't really take porn seriously.

Except my wife’s feet. So pretty. I’m not into feet but I love her and she is amazing and I will often kiss them after I’m done giving her a foot massage

Feet are simply a body part. Why is it OK to lust after boobs but not feet? You seem to have a lot of weird ideas about what is perverted.

What's the point of opening with "Correct me if I'm wrong" @CobhamMummy2008and2012 if you're just going to ignore all those corrections and insist that anyone who likes anything outside of your own sphere of desire must be porn-addled?

Dom and sub play have existed for centuries! The Internet didn't create it.

You obviously know zero about fetishes and are making wild assumptions to fit your prudish thinking. The sex section may not be the place for you.

I just read that thread. Over the course of it, @CobhamMummy2008and2012 comes to realise she has a drinking problem and that far from being controlling as she initially judged him, her husband has actually been trying to help her.
i wonder if she will revisit the responses here with similar humility.