Casual sex and vaginal atrophy

[vagnotwhatitwas]

I'm 62, single, and haven't had sex for a very long time. It's a part of life I really miss, but I rarely meet anyone I desire. I recently met someone I'm consumed with lust for. We work together and although nothing has been said, I think he feels the same. I'm not looking for a relationship with him - we have nothing in common - but I'd really like to shag him!

But, in addition to all the other insecurities about revealing my aging body, I'm worried about my vag. I suffer from Vaginal atrophy, and although I'm on HRT, including vaginal estrogen, I'm aware my fanny is not what it was. The last time I was in a sexual relationship lube was pretty essential.

So, I'm not really sure what I'm asking for here but given this is likely to be a spontaneous one-off encounter, does anyone have any advice about how to approach the, er, issue? He's a bit younger than me - late 50s I think - and I can't quite imagine bringing up the subject of lube at a first encounter.

Grateful for any advice, especially for anyone who's experienced this.

Do you have to “bring up” lube though? I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve ever had sex without it. Just make sure you have some!

No major issue here, just have lube to hand and tell him, “l prefer to use this”.

I’ve a friend who’s a little older than you who is regularly seeing 2 men (not as a threesome!) in their 50s, one very early 50s, things can still rock on. But why a one off? It’s a pity if the passion is there.

Thanks both for your kind and supportive messages 😊. I guess lube is more commonplace nowadays, and no biggie in a steady relationship. I've just never had to contemplate using it in something more spontaneous before.

Guess I'm just nervous about the whole thing after such a long time.

@StarlightLadyi'm envious of your friend!

To add, you ate clearly not of pregnancy age but you may want to consider condoms for your own sexual health.

My friend is lovely and I’ve known her over 10 years (l love diversity in friendship, l have friends from 20s to 70s), sadly some of her peers have a lesser view of her lifestyle.

Start using your vaginal oestrogen daily if you're not already.

@herbettathat's a good idea. Do you do this?
@StarlightLadya shame to hear this. Why should we leave sex behind in our 60s?

@Starlight lady is right "I prefer to use this". Most people in their 50's or 60's would expect lube to be used with sex.

I would ask him out for a coffee/drink lay your cards on the table and take it from there.

Last time l did this, we didn’t finish the coffee 😀.

Yes, recently went back to daily (was at 1-2 times per week) after bladder issues, and a clinical exam showed still localised evidence of needing more oestrogen.

As a man I’d be delighted at the intimacy.

Im sure most men wouldn’t bat an eyelid at you saying that you prefer to use it.

Any mature guy knows that the body changes.

Just go for it.