Physically attracted to older men but at what cost?!

[BlueStrips]

I’m 35. For my sins I’m attracted to men who are mid forties to early fifties. What I look for is maturity, sexual confidence, life experience and a clear vision of what they want.

This year I finally felt ready to date two years after divorcing but all I’ve experienced from this demographic is disappointment. Men who believe that their job title is the most interesting thing about them, never asking any questions, being hyper sexual over messaging promising lots of orgasms and then cumming prematurely in the bedroom... or the best one "not knowing what they want" and they are 50 years old.

Am I wasting my time? Should I get a new type and go for younger men or men who are my age? Can anyone commiserate or offer any hope?!

Yes, you're wasting your time, I would only go 5 yrs older, max.

@BlueStrips "What I look for is maturity, sexual confidence, life experience and a clear vision of what they want."

Do you have those attributes yourself?

Of course, I expect those personal attributes to be matched.

@BlueStrips I'd say you're as likely to find what you're looking for in men your own age. I'm M58; thinking of myself and my friends, we may have come to terms with life, but more in the sense that it's fking confusing and no-one really knows what they're doing, and we're kind of ok with that. I'm sure what you're after exists, but it's rare. If you have those attributes yourself, you'll probably attract like-minded men.

what was the age gap with your ex husband @BlueStrips? Personally older or younger men have absolutely zero appeal. And I don’t think maturity, sexual experience etc has anything to do with age.

My ex husband was nearly 20 years older than me. I walked away from that relationship though for many reasons, I don’t really want a repeat!

That is quite an age gap! I was just curious if an age gap had played a part in the ending of your marriage. Don’t want to pry obviously but maybe if it did, try and date closer to your age?

My first major age gap was 24 years my senior, and I had no idea. I thought possibly 15, he thought I was older I thought he was younger. I was naive an experienced and coming out of a neglectful relationship (I hesitate to use the word abusive) and a 10 years we were together, oh my God, the most incredible life I've ever had. The first 6 years or so, incredible sex, superb chemistry, the kind of stuff that happened in real life that will continue to fuel my orgasmic fantasies for the rest of my days. Wonderful. He made me feel like a million bucks. But around his age 55 or so he started having some problems medically, blood pressure, heart, other things, and medication made our time intimately to be far far less than it was. And that's just the way that it was.

He says that the desire is now gone, you still always desire to be intimate but the amount of time and effort it takes, you just can't keep it up for as long, it's not a spontaneous, it doesn't last as long you don't have the same refractory period.., it's just tricky.
I would say, if you're attracted to older men, and you enjoy the maturity and their sense of self, their familiarity with the female body and their patience at being able to wait until you're satisfied before they're happy to cun themselves, fantastic.

Your 50s is a strange decade. Most men are focused on work due to tbe fact they're beginning to think about retirement/their pension etc. Also, if they have a mortgage, they'll be coming to the end of that too. Its a decade where you want to step back a little but can't just yet. Also, it's the decade where sexual performance might tail off. Erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation etc etc.

The concept of the 'older man' experienced, urbane, full of self confidence greying at the temples etc is really an ideal. Everyone is imperfect and lead imperfect lives. It's just finding the right sort of imperfect for you.

no matter what ever age you get involved with someone the sexual life will be great in most of them and following few years too. But to keep the level of the needs both will have to work together and be more innovative now and then to let live that spark, but again the spark (or any) will die down eventually due to age, illness, etc. that is part of life unfortunately.
if you are in 30s and you are interested in men in 50's they can be very adventurous but you have to go with their flow and not yours 😘
good luck

I don't recognise any of the characterisations of middle aged men portrayed in PP.
My male friends (in that age group and older) are put off by younger whiny women, who use curvy as code for obese, smoke, have tattoos and don't look after themselves physically and have those lips.
I know, I know their body, their life they can do what they want and are entitled to etc.
Just saying!

Yeah, you're not going old enough! Look for mid 60s and up; that's where heaven lies...

What he said. From a 49 YO divorced male.

I'm in my 50s and have had lovely interactions with men from 45-65. I think for some reason you're just getting dicks, I don't think their age is the main factor here.

I'm attracted to older hung guys
Don't know why but I've met a few in my time.
Think it all started when an older guy in Germany picked my up in a sauna

Well as a nearly 50 year old if I was single I’d be making a beeline. I think you’ve just had bad luck so far.

More unlucky than a married man who made a post about looking to cheat on his wife. OP is seriously having some bad luck there!

Hey I’m just commenting.